To veto DH taking baby out on push bike?!

[Amidying]

We have a 19 month old son. DH has got it in his head that at some point in the future, he is going to take DS out on his push bike with one of those seats that go on the back of a bike! Now he hasn’t specified what age DS would be but it would be pre-school age by the sound of it. I have said no way will I allow it as it’s not safe. This is not an essential mode of transport either, so I totally understand that for some people there is no choice but to travel this way with their child, but we have 2 cars! This would be to ride a short distance on the road to our local park or beach which is about 10 mins, but I still can’t get onboard with the idea.

I said to him: We have just spent £300 getting the safest car seat we could afford and you want to take him out on a push bike before he can even ride a bike himself?! He reckons I am being the overprotective mother and it will teach him road safety and help him learn how to ride a bike responsibly. I reckon he is insane and we are at a standoff.

His argument is that his dad did it with him when he was little and it’s one of his earliest happy memories, which is all lovely but we have come a long way safety wise since then. When I was a kid people used to smoke next to me, car seats weren’t a thing, my cousins and me used to pile into car with some of us in the footwells! So where does it end? We have to move with the times surely?! I would prefer to teach DS to ride when the time comes and when he reaches the right age he can do a road safety awareness course or something, I dunno. I hadn’t really thought about it because for me it’s way off into the future!

UABU= chill sista, let them ride
UANBU= its insane and unsafe

My preschooler now signals left and right from his wee seat when his Dad does, it's adorable and teaching him great road awareness.

For everyone saying who says how safe it is to travel by bike I'm curious do you have good cycle paths where you are or a better standard of driver? Cycling in my city is horrific with the careless impatient drivers, potholes and very few decent cycle paths!

DH once took DD1 when she was still a preschooler (she's 28 now). We were on a holiday at MIL's apartment in Majorca and he had hired a bike for himself for several days (I hate bikes and can't balance on them).

DD saw other kids on the back of their parents' bikes and begged to be taken. So DH persuaded the cycle shop to fit a seat for her for a day and give her a helmet. They went out together. She was 3 or 4 at the time I think and she absolutely loved it. DD2 was only a few months old so she and I just made our way into town and met them for lunch.

I let them get on with it even though it made me feel a bit anxious. I didn't want to impose my own anxiety onto DD.

I do understand how you feel, but with good safety gear, and on quieter roads I would let it go. If DH is careful they'll be fine.

DP always took DD to nursery on a bike seat. He had one which sat in front of him. Would that feel safer to you? That way he can see the child and might feel safer? Like this: weeride.co.uk

a push bike? like, not a motorbike? a push bike? I don't get it. Isn't it super normal to take a child that age on a push bike?

My daughter had a bike seat on her dad's bike from age 1. She adored it. Granted they stuck to cycle paths and quiet roads but it was such a source of joy for them. She had her little helmet, he is a good cyclist, and the seat was very safe. I don't think you need to worry. It'll be a really nice thing for your partner and son to do together.

I used to take my kids out on the bike all the time. Choose where you are going sensibly (Sustrans tracks) and you can have a delightful time. Those seats on the back bounce quite gently. I always ended up with one of them fully asleep. Oh and it can be a lot colder for the child so make sure they are wrapped up warm, the cyclist tends to do all the work so doesnt realise they are warmer.

Let them go and have fun. YABU

I'm always amazed new parents are allowed to drive when they're so sleep deprived anyway! It's like drink driving really :)

YABU - Out of curiousity, do you plan on banning driving? Because you are much more likely to have an accident and die in a car than on a bike.

I found these stats on pacts.org.uk

It’s totally normal and fun. I had one when my daughter was small and then we had a tag-along, which she loved. The worst thing that happened was when I accidentally trapped some skin in her cycle helmet when she was about a year old! She’s 15 now and both still love cycling and the outdoors.

You don't cycle you walk (or more likely run), and they are on the pavement.
The distance they travel is very small.

Your child does need to be one who likes cars or obeys you though so they know to stop at roads.

Only when they are 7+ can you cycle alongside them. I've had the luck to watch many parents try it before then with their child on the pavement and the parent on the road, or both on a cycle path. That's say however slow the parent tried to cycle it doesn't work.

He has a balance bike but he prefers to drag it around the house rather than sit on it. He only just started walking at 18 months so I wouldn’t say he’s ready to go biking/triking himself anywhere as a mode of transport. I do disagree that’s it’s not riskier on a bike. If you are in a car and collide with another car you are not exposed to the same risks as if you were on a bike in that same situation.

Honestly, I'm with you. If he wants to take the bike to a park then by all means but the road - nope. The roads are in a terrible state with potholes especially on the sides and people's driving is getting worse.

Unless you live somewhere like Guernsey which was a joy to cycle around, I wouldn't be risking it.

Who said I do? If he was against me doing something with our child because of safety concerns I would listen to him too.

I didn’t say I transport my son anywhere daily by car. I actually don’t use my car much really and thinking of selling it. We travel on foot mostly.

Just persist with the balance bike.

My DD decided she wanted to use it but didn't know how even though she would sit on it. After about 2 weeks of this were she was using it nearly every day she got the hang of it. We were walking down a very short slope and she sort of let go with her feet.

On the other hand the child we handed it over too who was nearly 3, knew what to do instantly.

Haha that made me laugh, about them sleeping. You’ve definitely got more chance of surviving being hit by a car when you’re in a car as opposed to not being in one in that same situation though!

Be careful on foot there is a risk of tripping over 🙈😂😂

It depends on exactly where you live.

So around my area in London old people who look over 80, kids and women in flowing skirts/team cycling or tri kit are given plenty of room by drivers on the roads. The women team cyclists/triathletes even cycle around the one way systems and are given room by all vehicles.

There as not too far away there is an area with "cycle paths" that are simply dangerous due to their design. If you want cycle safely then you need to use the side roads even though it takes slightly longer. There is a junction where if you are going in a certain directions if you don't want to be killed/injured you need to cycle on the pavement. However most people in the area know to use the side roads to avoid the junction.

If I still lived in the city I grew up in I wouldn’t be so happy to rethink my views on this.

Your risk-averseness is going to ruin any fun or personal development for your child.

Let your DH take the baby for fun ride in the fresh air. It's great that he wants to do this.

You'll be stopping baby going to the beach next for fear he'll choke on a pebble.

That's really interesting. We've always cycled alongside our DCs on the road since they started cycling (DS 4.5yrs and DD 3.5yrs) and they've always been able to keep up with us at a normal pace! Our kids have been pretty athletic/agile though from a young age.

I used to cycle with DD on the back of my bike to and from nursery. It was fine really. Previous pp who said kids have no road awareness as if it's a fact is wrong. Some kids have fantastic road sense.

Also, I found that drivers give a huge berth to cyclists with kids on their bikes, although there will always be idiots on the road.

I think it would feel safer to me if DH could see him, so yes this would be better. Thank you.

I’m sure daddy will - motorists not so much!

Not super normal for me or the family I grew up in. Seems like this is a normal thing for lots of people though and that’s ok. It’s been a useful thread.

We had both our kids in rear mounted bike seats from 9 months old. I liked the idea of a trailer but DH preferred the seats because the child is higher and not taking up width on the road (he felt trailers were more likely to be clipped by a close pass in a car). As he was the one who did most of the child-carrying I said it was ultimately up to him.

if you don’t think they are safe on a bike controlled by a competent adult, why do you think you will feel okay about them riding their own bike? Or will you only ever let them be driven everywhere (which has other risks too).

It is a very normal thing to do. We cycle around town as much as we can and so do many people where we live. If you have a quiet cycle route it is a brilliant and healthy thing to do and a good way to get kids used to active ways of getting around.