To veto DH taking baby out on push bike?!

[Amidying]

We have a 19 month old son. DH has got it in his head that at some point in the future, he is going to take DS out on his push bike with one of those seats that go on the back of a bike! Now he hasn’t specified what age DS would be but it would be pre-school age by the sound of it. I have said no way will I allow it as it’s not safe. This is not an essential mode of transport either, so I totally understand that for some people there is no choice but to travel this way with their child, but we have 2 cars! This would be to ride a short distance on the road to our local park or beach which is about 10 mins, but I still can’t get onboard with the idea.

I said to him: We have just spent £300 getting the safest car seat we could afford and you want to take him out on a push bike before he can even ride a bike himself?! He reckons I am being the overprotective mother and it will teach him road safety and help him learn how to ride a bike responsibly. I reckon he is insane and we are at a standoff.

His argument is that his dad did it with him when he was little and it’s one of his earliest happy memories, which is all lovely but we have come a long way safety wise since then. When I was a kid people used to smoke next to me, car seats weren’t a thing, my cousins and me used to pile into car with some of us in the footwells! So where does it end? We have to move with the times surely?! I would prefer to teach DS to ride when the time comes and when he reaches the right age he can do a road safety awareness course or something, I dunno. I hadn’t really thought about it because for me it’s way off into the future!

UABU= chill sista, let them ride
UANBU= its insane and unsafe

You are definitely being unreasonable. Enjoying the outside and getting exercise are important to encourage at a young age. I’ve just heard that 1/8 people globally are now obese by the by.

Dh had a seat that fitted onto the front of his bike. Can't remember the brand but he had it shipped from somewhere in Europe. Dc loved it! And dh commented that he found drivers a lot better around him than without the seat.

YABVU, they'll be a lot safer in a seat on the back of DHs bike than on their own.

You are being nuts to veto it! These are an extremely common and safe way to transport children around the world (including in massive cities by the way!). I can’t imagine driving a journey that could be easily cycled or walked because you were worried about cycling down a residential street. It will be absolutely fine.

I’m going against what most people here are saying, I wouldn’t want this to happen either. You are less protected on a bike than inside a car and you’ve said the roads near you do have a certain level of traffic.

I voted YANBU. I took my kids out on my bike, and on their own bikes when older but only on dedicated cycle paths or in country parks/forests etc where no cars are allowed. I don't trust the drivers around me to give a safe amount of room on the road or to drive safely around cyclists (or tractors or horses, but that's a whole other can of worms). I see so many near misses on the roads around me (semi-rural but near a large town) with all the bad drivers out there, it's totally not worth the risk taking the kids on a bike on the roads in my opinion. There are plenty of much safer options for getting them fresh air and exercise.

Good for you, OP, it is true that a lot of outdoorsy stuff feels quite risky e.g. climbing trees, going in the sea etc. I can see why it would feel weird if that hadn't been part of your childhood. Obviously there IS a risk for a child to go on the back of a bike or to climb a tree but also lots of gains too.

Haha no, but there are options to get to the playground. My risk averse brain would choose the safest option to get to the playground, not add another unnecessary risk. I say this, however I am not into cycling and don’t particularly envisage myself on a bike doing these cycling adventures as a family, so it will most likely be something DH does with him unless I force myself onto a bike. Going by these replies I might 🤣

OP I understand your concerns, DS went in a back seat for first time just over 2.3yrs. He loved it but did get borred after a while. My fear was that he would try and climb out while going along and the rider wouldnt have a clue. Yes they are strapped in but our DS opened his car seat buckle and climbed out his cot before 18 months! He was actually fine and didnt get out but it didnt stop me worrying. I would only be happy on cycle trails or quiet safe roads though. We are city suburbs though so I understand from your perspective.

Exactly this. Too many wannabe race drivers on the roads, with too much speed and too few braincells...

Is it though? I don’t mean to sound thick, but where I’m from it’s not normal. My family were not outdoorsy or adventurous at all. I have no idea what ‘normal’ is, I don’t think!

Literally no way on this planet would I be letting him do this.

Cycled with my kid regularly on the back of my bike from about 18mths to almost 3, when he could ride a bike himself and was a bit too heavy for me to balance the bike when dismounting. My DH carried on a little longer with him on the back. DS loved it. Most common injury to kids travelling this way is feet getting caught in spokes so important to have a seat that has leg guards and a well fitting helmet on your child.

Sorry OP I think you should relent.

We had one and DS and I had a great time with it, he asked me to pick him up from kindergarten in it the other day. It will be sad when he gets too big

There is no cycle route. There is only one route to get to the beach from our part of town, so although it’s residential it’s quite busy, with a right turn that DH would have to do. That’s my biggest worry!

I cringe when I see children on these because they just look so unsafe. But I live in a built up area near London and there are no cycle paths and cycle accidents happen daily around here.

I see people using these in London all the time!

I have a front seat for DS, which I moved him to after I heard a gleeful "I've unbuckled my helmet" from my then two year old in the seat behind me...

We took our son out on the bikes from when he was 1. So I think yabu.

It's fine. You're being a bit nuts. People who think they're terribly dangerous are likely people who don't cycle and have an inaccurate sense of how dangerous it is.

If you went looking for them, you could find stories of toddlers walking into the road, of drivers mounting the pavement and hitting someone, of prams rolling down hills etc. There are risks but you need to get around.

Where did we get this idea that to keep babies safe from huge metal vehicles, they need to be encased in a huge metal vehicle? How does the world ever get better like that?

The main problem with having a baby on a bike is what to do when they fall asleep in the seat and you have to carry them indoors, but they still have body shape as if they're in the seat :)

Accidents also happen in cars. Sounds like a lovely thing your DH wants to do and you’d be wrong to stop it because of your own fears. Go let them have fun!

I would get him to practice in a park first though - it takes a while to adjust your sense of balance to having a child on the back.

I also thought it was a perfectly normal thing to do.

Lovely Saturday afternoon bike ride with toddler in the bike seat.

Eventually moved on to a tag along and then his own bike. Many happy times spent this way.

My son absolutely loves his bike seat on my bike and I wouldn't have it ANY other way, it's amazing! We only use it for fun, and the occasional ride to nursery if the weather is niec, but we are going to upgrade to a trailer soon (he is autistic and not capable yet of riding his own bike or a tagalong yet!

Good for you, OP, it is true that a lot of outdoorsy stuff feels quite risky e.g. climbing trees, going in the sea etc. I can see why it would feel weird if that hadn't been part of your childhood. Obviously there IS a risk for a child to go on the back of a bike or to climb a tree but also lots of gains too.
I think this hits the nail on the head.

People who've grown up driving everywhere or always in padded soft play, or who never, if ever, ride a bike, or didn't climb trees as children etc probably have a very different mentality to people who were brought up being outside, taking appropriate risks, and learning how to be outdoors.
Driving kids everywhere doesn't do them any good.

It's good OP is open minded.