To expect DH to not go to football training?

[mrsfruitloop]

I have a tummy tuck consultation on Friday and DS has football training (DH is an assistant coach) all of the consultations are on a Friday so it means I will never be able to go. DH is refusing to miss any training days to allow me to go to the consultation.

He won’t let my mum come and babysit the kids either as he doesn’t want her at our house apparently.

I feel like he is just doing to to stop me from going! He keeps saying it’s a waste of money and I should be spending it on the kids and our family not myself.

@PostItInABook

you are wrong. In some relationships it’s the man who wants kids way more than the woman.

@Patrickiscrazy

you get him?? Why??

What? You're encouraging her to take the children and arrange childcare when their father has been the main caregiver.

You need to leave. I’m sure you’ve had other threads about this lazy cunt.

Leave. Let the abusive, selfish, grasping prick fend for himself.

Well done OP.
Get to the end of the month, and get out and enjoy your new house. File for divorce and get your surgery. You will do just fine.
What a prat he is.

@YeahIsaidit

hi OP’s husband!! 👋

An hour isn’t that long? Why Can’t your mum go home that evening?? Very confused by that.

@PuddlesPityParty

and why can’t she just stay over if that’s what she wants to do.

I completely understand why you want the surgery - I have similar after having a C section with twins and not keen on my flap! ....but I have not had any smell for 17 years. I am wondering if you have something else also going on.

Trying not to join the MN ‘LTB’ train… but you’re the breadwinner? You work FT. And you have to have his permission to have your mother over or to spend money you earn on a procedure that may build your self-esteem at work?

What does he actually bring to the partnership? I see he is the footie coach - one of a team, I assume, so could take an evening off - but he can coach your DS’s team even if you were not together. Like other PPs, I’m interested to know whether he does the cooking/cleaning/shopping etc.

I find it hard not to infer there is a lot more wrong with your marriage than getting his support over an initial consult on a Friday evening.

Quite.

@betterangels

you are wrong. In some relationships it’s the man who wants kids way more than the woman.

If he doesn’t want your mum there, he looks after his kids himself. It’s as simple as that.

Hi. Help, I'm in a financially abusive marriage and my wife is insisting on spending our savings on a needless tummy tuck rather than paying down debt we both accrued a few years ago. I feel like I'm unable to leave as the house is solely in her name. I do the majority of the childcare to support her career, would I be entitled to anything from the house? Would I be able to stay in it and she moves out as I'm the primary carer for DC including a small baby?

Your problem is that he is the primary caregiver to your DC, he is dependent on you.
He isn't going to leave.
He CAN take the DC & you will have pay him CMS.
He is too comfortable
You need to stop paying for his holiday, paying for his meals etc, so that he gets a real job.

@YeahIsaidit

lol.

not sure where to start with your post.

“needless tummy tuck” - I do find this particularly jarring. It sounds like op absolutely does need it. Why is it so hard for you to comprehend a woman wanting to spend money on herself and her body??

oh and her husband isn’t being financially abused.

Would you be saying this if the roles were reversed. A SAHM worrying more about debts than frivolous spending on cosmetic procedures? Should she just shut up and get "a proper job?"

Which is why the post I quoted said 'most men'.

OP has been dripfeeding throughout the thread anyway to make the man look as unreasonable as possible. He probably loves his kids, but having children is not some selfless act women do for men.

I think you need to see a solicitor and find out what would be the worst case scenario (and best) if you were to ask for a divorce.

This thread is a huge double standards eye opener.

No one would be telling a male breadwinner that he should spend his money on what he wanted rather than putting it towards the family.

No one would tell a man that it was fine to have his mum over to stay even if his wife didn't want it.

No one would tell a woman looking after a 1 year old all day, a school child after school and working part time in the evening that they were a lazy waste of space and brought nothing to the partnership.

He doesn't have a point if she pays everything fucking else

I guess SAHM should also just get proper jobs then. The double standards around here are something else.

@YeahIsaidit

it’s not a frivolous cosmetic procedure.. have you actually read OP’s post and how it affects her and her sense of self? Or does that not matter? Should she stop being vain and shallow and just put up and shut up? And every penny be “faaaaaamily money”?

@betterangels

well it is quite selfless cos if no woman did have kids the human race would die out

Here's my view - would take the kids to my Mums for an overnight stay and go to appt. Sometimes you need to put yourself first, just like he is with the footie