Wedding menu

[imnewhere2024]

DP and I recently got engaged (yay) so we are starting to plan the wedding. We are at very early stages but have run into a very interesting question. DP and I are both vegetarian for ethical reasons with our families and most of our friends being meat eaters. Venues are asking our preferences for menus so they can provide us costs so we need to make a choice on whether to provide meat or do a vegetarian only dinner.

For clarity, when we go out to dinner with meat eaters we have no issue with people ordering a meat option, but given we are the ones footing the bill, it feels like we have a say over what they eat. Honestly, we don’t feel good about paying for meat to be consumed on our wedding day, and would be offering a decent range of veggie options (not your bog standard risotto or tofu loaf etc) Friends have never complained about our dietary choices when we go to their homes or events, its pretty easy these days to cater for and we are not picky eaters at all but I feel weird imposing our vegetarian ideas on them. Has anyone faced the same issue issue or have any insight ?

This is such an odd comment. Surely you just ask people if they're allergic to anything and let them tell you what they're allergic to. You don't just ask them e.g. if they're allergic to nuts and assume noone is allergic to anything else.

That looks really lovely

im I’m curious though, what’s a half bottle of water ?

Don’t worry about a meat option OP. People will expect it to be vegetarian given you and your DH (to be!) are vegetarian.

Having somehow managed to get invited to three vegan weddings last year, I would welcome a vegetarian one for a nice change.

Just serve what you want, it makes sense to have vegetarian if you are because of ethical reasons (assume you don't have any leather shoes etc). If it's good food, it shouldn't matter and if someone doesn't like it I'm sure they'll survive. Enjoy your wedding! Just do what you want (with everything)

I wouldn’t expect you to pay for people to eat meat especially if there are ethical reasons for being veggie.

I’ve previously been vegan and partner veggie. We would do veggie catering. There’s something everyone could like with veggie and really filling options with dairy.

normally starters and dessert are veggie anyway so only the main would be ‘different’. Your close friends and family wouldn’t expect u to serve meat. They’ll probs be some rogue answers on here from people who can’t imagine not eating meat with every meal!

id say pick a cuisine type which lends itself to veggie rather than fake meats.

😆
That dry scrap of chicken sounds like the meaty equivalent of some of the vegetarian “meals” I’ve seen sent out at weddings (not all, some have been great and better than the meat options).

I’d actually be excited if it was a vegetarian menu!! I love my meat, but I also enjoy trying new things!!!

I'd expect vegi food and I love meat.

I've been to vegi weddings, dry weddings, cheap weddings, expensive.

It's the people that make it for me.

The venue looks lovely. Oh and congratulations.

One of the most memorable meals I 've had was wild mushroom risotto at my daughter's wedding and I'm not vegetarian.

One of the most memorable meals I 've had was wild mushroom risotto at my daughter's wedding and I'm not vegetarian.

I'm not vegetarian but I'd be happy with a vegetarian meal. However you mentioned pasta and pizza and I don't think that's very fancy and I'd kind of expect something a bit more imaginative for a wedding dinner.

Hi op, sorry I haven’t read all 12 pages of the thread but here are my thoughts:

Go with vegetarian food.

If people inc grandparents can’t cope without eating meat at every single meal then that’s pathetic IMO.

I would expect vegetarian food if the bride and groom are vegetarian, just like when I’d be a guest at your house or if I go to an Indian wedding etc. I eat meat but vegetarian food can be fantastic.

I went to a wedding last year where meat was served and it was all a disorganised shambles. Meat doesn’t equal great experience automatically.

I would say the most important thing regarding food rather than it being meat or not is that your guests are not left hungry at any point.

Too many weddings have been at lunchtime while guests have to scramble to get enough canopes while photos take ages. If you have a lunchtime wedding, make sure guests are fed.

And speeches after food!

Your wedding, your choice. I would expect the wedding to reflect the bride and groom. Being both vegetarian, I'd expect vegetarian fare.

Surely there isn’t a single meat eater out there who doesn’t regularly eat vegetarian meals - I wouldn’t even notice!

Congratulations! My neice and her husband had a wonderful vegetarian Italian menu last summer. I'm a meat eater as were many of the guests and all agreed it was delicious.

I'd do the vegetarian. A good friend got married and mainly meat eaters except the bridecans some of her friends. They had a meat dish a fish dish and a vegetarian dish. The vegetarian dish sounded so great more then half picked it.

You would be surprised how often the allergy questionnaire only has check boxes for the main allergies with no place to declare anything else. People are worried that free-text will invite preferences, but free-text is necessary.

I've been to weddings with food I wouldn't chose, but the couple getting married did and I was hungry so I ate it. I don't really get the insistence from some that there should be a meat option, surely everyone is an omnivore and can eat vegetables?

I often see this discussion on here but never in real life, where in reality vegetarian food is served at all sorts of events and I've never seen anyone complain or be unhappy about it

I'm sure people can live without meat for a meal. I'm a meat eater but I have no issue with being served a vegetarian menu. Your day!

If think if your friends did not understand and support your decision then they are not very good friends. I would just make them aware of it because some might want to eat a little bit beforehand if they are concerned they will be hungry. I am ceoliac that’s what some of us do before events

I completely disagree, the vast majority of couples are considering the enjoyment and wellbeing of their guests, not just themselves. You are choosing to think of yourself only and that's your perrogative- but don't pretend everyone does this.

The pp pescatarean is another good example, only serving meals that she can eat. Most couples are fine with their being one meal they like and don't need all alternatives to suit them.

I’m a meat eater and I honestly don’t see the issue.

exclusively vegetarian food is what I’d expect at the wedding of two vegetarians. And good vegetarian food (not just the regular menu minus the meat) is delightful imo.

and I don’t attend weddings due to the food. So even if it’s something I wouldn’t want to order myself, it really wouldn’t be a big deal.

well, it’s only ok if you would feel it’s acceptable to go to any of your friends or family’s events and they served you meat with no veggie option. It’s the same thing. I know lots of people that would be disappointed to only have veggie choices.
its respectful to cater for all choice which is why your friends and family offer veggie choices for you. I think there are lovely vegetarian dishes so it’s not about there not being nice choices. It’s not everyone’s choice, that’s the point. Cater for all. If it’s a question of cost then reduce the number you are inviting.

I would just ensure everyone knew in advance. I wouldn't be trying new food due to an ever growing length of allergies and reactions so generally would be safe with meat veg no sauce that generally is where the extras are added in catering.

If you share the menu you are offering that would be very helpful.