To refuse to travel at 20 weeks pregnant

[Kofifi]

I have been put forward to attend an important event for work in San Fransisco, when I will be 20 weeks pregnant. I find these events exhausting at the best of times and am really dreading the idea of doing it pregnant. Especially with the long travel (16hr) involved.

I was planning to tell work that I'm pregnant after my 12 week scan next week. And I ideally want to use it as a reason to say I don't want to do any long haul trips.

But everywhere I google it says there's no reason I can't travel at 20 weeks. And so I'm worried they'll make me go anyway.

Aibu to think I should be able to opt out?

YABU

being pregnant won’t exclude you from this trip

unless your midwife or GP is able and willing to sign something to that effect you’ll most likely need to go.

I would however ask if the travel could be arranged without a layover

Just be honest with them when you tell them you're pregnant. It's such a great opportunity but you feel worried about travelling so far away from home when 5 months pregnant. You don't mind giving up the place for someone else to go.

They'll prob say, yeah fine.

I wouldn’t want to go to the US pregnant. Two reasons, legislation changes in the rights of the foetus and mother and secondly, the cost involved if anything goes wrong.

Ask the company to take out medical insurance for the whole of your trip if they insist that you go!

I travelled one hour by plane and then 3 hours by train at 17 weeks pregnant and i was exhausted 😩 I had really bad hyperemesis that was still bad at that stage. No way could I have done 16 hours, I'd have passed out.
You're better off dropping out of the trip now and giving them notice than dropping out the week of the trip. 2 months notice gives them plenty Time to find someone else

I think YABU, we’re having a big holiday when I’m around 20 weeks. Best time to go!

Pregnancy can cause people to become seriously unwell, at best it is still quite uncomfortable. Yanbu if you don’t feel up to it OP. Pregnancy is different for everyone. I would inform your employer of your pregnancy and how ill you’ve felt and let them know that you don’t feel up to long haul flights. Unless they’re devoid of any empathy or compassion, they shouldn’t have a problem with that.

Exactly- you are using the pregnancy as an excuse. Twenty weeks is a breeze compared to the final trimester so I would keep your excuses for then as you may well need them!

Agree with this. I work in a hospital and most people get signed off doing night shifts after 20 weeks or so , which is similar. I would do this and don’t feel guilty about it either. It’s hard enough doing a journey like that without being 20 weeks pregnant

Op is making it sound like her pregnancy is incapacitating. Not wanting to do a long haul flight at just 20 weeks…

People on this website really are horrible to each other sometimes. Bully for all you globetrotting pregnant women! Have a medal!

You’ll always encounter people who say things like “pregnancy isn’t an illness, blah blah blah”, seemingly unaware that complications requiring medical assistance are common.

OP has said she feels stressed. It’s good to avoid stress and anxiety in pregnancy as much as possible.

I’m sure your work will understand. They don’t know the details of your pregnancy. For all they know you could have required a stitch in your cervix, bleeding, close monitoring, etc, etc.

I had terrible round ligament pain which would have made sitting for 16 hours really uncomfortable. Actually ended up in triage with sharp pains in my stomach as well after sitting too still for too long. You could say that. But really it’s none of their business and I doubt they would ask!

This is just an odd comment all round

facts are travel is part of the OPs working expectations and contract

facts are pregnancy is not an illness

facts are unless the OP is genuinely unwell with her pregnancy at the time of travel and can get signed off by her Midwife or GP she will have to go or face whatever disciplinary process her work has for such matters

This is what I was thinking!

Exactly!

@Dutchairfryer - "I would however ask if the travel could be arranged without a layover"

Lol and how would that be possible? Private jet?

Agreed. I wouldn’t be going & I’m sure someone else will love the opportunity

Ridiculous comment of the day. Every pregnancy is different, I wouldn't be doing anything I didn't deem safe for my baby. Stress is the worst thing in the world for pregnancy. If work tried to force me to travel I would be saying "see you in court for a nice big Maternity discrimination payout". There is always another job, you can't replace your child.

You are aware direct flights exist right?

You can bet your bottom dollar that if men carried babies, they wouldn't be going to work at all during the pregnancy. They would be at home laying on the sofa, hamming it up.

And they’d laugh

pregnancy is not classified as an illness

Make sure work know and that their travel insurance covers it. The USA is not the place to need medical care without insurance.

??? Are you ok?
Not from my location to San Francisco.

I don't find it an odd comment whatsoever. What I find unbelievable is so many woman saying 'I could do x,y and z at 20 weeks, so suck it up'. Every woman's pregnancy is different.. every pregnancy is different. Everyone's experiences are different. Having lost a baby at 24 weeks in the past I would not be taking any risk of long haul flight at 20 weeks and would be getting a medical cert to say its not recommended for me to travel. For me my family and their health is more important than any career ever will be.
I also suffered with nerve pain on my last pregnancy which luckily only lasted a number of weeks, while i was suffering I struggled to even get in and out of the car. A flight would have been out of the question for me at the time. And that nerve pain just suddenly started one day having been extremely active in pregnancy up to that point.. and went again as suddenly.

I just can't believe how unsupportive some women are to one another.

YANBU.
Safe remainder of pregnancy x

pregnancy is not an illness but it is a big deal and a time when women should look after their wellbeing. In most workplaces you are only a number at the end of the day.

Trust me, a tribunal wouldn't laugh. Maternity discrimination claims if successful carry an unlimited payout. They can run into millions. Depends on the pregnancy you dingbat. Some women are incapable of anything strenuous during pregnancy. Hyperemesis for example? Or what if you have had previous miscarriages and are are having an anxious time so you don't want to go flying round the world. Think before you speak, honestly.