That I AM feeding my baby ‘proper’ food

[GreenButterBlackBean]

A friend commented today that she felt bad for my one year old because I don’t feed them ‘proper’ meals. I feel we’ve got a pretty reasonable diet. Not perfect, but nothing to get excited about either. Friend implied strongly that a) too many of my meals are lazy/easy, b) not enough traditional hot meals (listed meals she makes for her family eg shepherd’s pie, fish pie, etc) and c) that I’m being borderline neglectful for not routinely offering snacks between meals (says her kids get those wrapped cheese sticks, crackers, raisins, yoghurt tubes, soreen bars, etc and I should be giving those two in between meals), d) I’m horrible for not offering desert after every meal whilst simultaneously getting it wrong serving fruit or yoghurt at the same time as meals.
Found myself getting more and more annoyed and frankly defensive. So thought I’d ask for feedback here. Am I really getting it all wrong?

For context to best of recollection last few days one year old had the following:

Breakfast: Porridge with semi skim milk, half a banana and spoonful of peanut butter plus a few quartered grapes
Lunch: Slice of whole grain bread with hummus and carrot, couple of pieces of mature cheddar, lychees, strawberries
Dinner: Canned sweet corn cooked with spoonful of cream cheese & feta, piece of baguette. Other half of breakfast banana.
No snacks

Breakfast: Small brioche roll with cream cheese, watermelon, lychees
Lunch: Pesto savoury pancake with tomatoes and garlic mushrooms, Greek yoghurt with some mashed up strawberries
Dinner: Cheese toastie on whole grain bread, green beans, carrots
No snacks

Breakfast: Omelette made in microwave with spinach, tomatoes and peppers. Half a banana.
Lunch: Porridge with other half of banana and peanut butter, pieces of cheddar cheese, cucumber
Dinner: Homemade Tofu Pad Thai with sugarsnap peas and peppers
Snack: Watermelon

Breakfast: Whole grain toast with butter and peanut butter, watermelon
Lunch: Veggie Pizza slice (eaten out) plus five or so chips, a couple of spoonfuls of vanilla ice cream
Dinner: Cheesy Mashed Potato and Sweet potato with scrambled egg with tomatoes and spinach
No snacks

Toddler also has around 300-400mls of semi-skimmed milk a day, otherwise water.
Is 50%ile for weight.

So AIBU?

It sounds fine other than he should be having full fat milk at this age.

I would de-friend your friend

Christ, I caught my toddler eating crumbs off the floor earlier today. Tell her to bore off.

Seems fine but she should be on full fat milk at her age. Skimmed milk does not give her enough calories so not recommended until at least 2.

What PPs said about the milk. 50th percentile, following a curve, seems fine. All good. My DD wasn't a snacker and preferred meals. And puddings with every meal is madness.

Sounds like a varied mix of foods. Tell her it's not her concern. (Not sure about baguette for a 1 year old if you're asking).

Blimey, your baby eats more for breakfast than I could ever manage! 🤩

Tell her to piss off, she's no friend OP.

It sounds lovely but I would give snacks. A paediatric dietician advised me to feed 3 meals and 3 snacks, so that’s what I did. They said a toddler shouldn’t be going more than 2-3 hours without food, and it’s a long time between meals without a small snack mid morning and mid afternoon at least.

They vary a lot at that age as to how much food they eat. One of mine still breastfed a lot until around 18 months, but another ate as much as an older child and just had a small feed at bedtime.

Whole milk and full fat dairy until 2, as others have said, otherwise the milk fills them up without supplying enough fat and calories.

I never gave mine two snacks routinely, tell her to jog on.

I would give snacks between meals. Loads of ideas/recipes /suggestions online for healthy toddler snacks.

Your dinners sounds random to me but each to their own (i like a traditional hot dinner - from any cuisine!) otherwise seems fine. I offer snacks when I think required eg big gap between meals but prob max once a day. I think we give children and us too many snacks and often spoils appetites for the more nutritious meal

Sounds fine to me, it’s better than my toddler eats! Agree on the full fat milk though, more nutritious.

Some people get very focused on what kind of food needs to be eaten at certain times of day, but really it’s all just a made up social construct isn’t it? As long as you’re getting enough food it doesn’t really matter what is eaten at what time of day. I don’t believe it does anyway!

a bit low on protein, but otherwise fine.

Sounds fine to me. My dc never routinely had snacks or puddings.

Agree with the comments about the milk. Definitely full fat.

The rest of it sounds fine and you’ll know if your 1yo is hungry in between. My toddler sometimes doesn’t have snacks between meals but I offer when I think she’s hungry or just periodically. She 9/10 has a pudding though even if it’s chopped berries and Greek yoghurt. She’s 3 though.

People always want to comment on others parenting your child isn't being feed only peas
Shes an idiot

Is she getting her dig in because you’re vegetarians? What the fuck has it actually to do with her though?

Thanks. Ok taking on board full fat milk. Still true if tracking weight centile and having lots of cheese, full fat yoghurt etc?
Re: random meals, think that’s her feeling and set her off on staging her intervention 😂. But it’s what I eat and don’t think most of it is particularly unhealthy or less nutritious than eg her shepherd’s pie, so doesn’t matter if it’s quick?

Snacks are a modern invention and correlate with increasing numbers of overweight and obese children.

I think you know it’s fine OP.

Neither of my children would drink full fat milk, they seem to have thrived on semi skimmed. As for snacks, there was no such thing 35 years ago, the HV would have had a conniption fit at the very idea. They seem to be pretty healthy adults. As for your menu, please can I come and live with you, it sounds lovely

We’re not even properly veggie just rarely eat meat. Think baby has had meat maybe three times or so but I’ve not stopped them eating it or anything. We eat a lot of beans/lentils/and co usually.

So, it should definitely be full fat dairy.

i also find your dinners a bit random tbh…. Canned sweetcorn with cream cheese and some baguette? Not a combo I would have fed as a dinner but nothing inherently
wrong really I suppose.

i do find it a long time between breakfast at say 7.30am, lunch at 1pm and dinner at say 6? My DC would have struggled that long between meals when very active and waking at that age.

Wrapped cheese sticks are likely to be processed and raisins shouldn't be given between meals as they aren't good for dental health, therefore it sounds as if you're doing better than her. I don't know why she wants to criticise you but I'd tell her that you're child's diet is none of her business 🙂

Breakfast is more 8.30ish, Lunch sometime between 12.00 and 13.00 and yeah dinner between 17.00 and 18.00 usually. Then 230mls bottle of milk just before brushing teeth at bedtime.
Doesn’t seem hungry in between, eats fairly big portions though compared to friend’s child.

My sister is CONSTANTLY offering my niece snacks and it drives me crazy as she then never eats properly at meal times. I find it so unnecessary to keep giving her processed snacks when she then won’t eat the nutritious meal. However, this does seem really common nowadays.