That I AM feeding my baby ‘proper’ food

[GreenButterBlackBean]

A friend commented today that she felt bad for my one year old because I don’t feed them ‘proper’ meals. I feel we’ve got a pretty reasonable diet. Not perfect, but nothing to get excited about either. Friend implied strongly that a) too many of my meals are lazy/easy, b) not enough traditional hot meals (listed meals she makes for her family eg shepherd’s pie, fish pie, etc) and c) that I’m being borderline neglectful for not routinely offering snacks between meals (says her kids get those wrapped cheese sticks, crackers, raisins, yoghurt tubes, soreen bars, etc and I should be giving those two in between meals), d) I’m horrible for not offering desert after every meal whilst simultaneously getting it wrong serving fruit or yoghurt at the same time as meals.
Found myself getting more and more annoyed and frankly defensive. So thought I’d ask for feedback here. Am I really getting it all wrong?

For context to best of recollection last few days one year old had the following:

Breakfast: Porridge with semi skim milk, half a banana and spoonful of peanut butter plus a few quartered grapes
Lunch: Slice of whole grain bread with hummus and carrot, couple of pieces of mature cheddar, lychees, strawberries
Dinner: Canned sweet corn cooked with spoonful of cream cheese & feta, piece of baguette. Other half of breakfast banana.
No snacks

Breakfast: Small brioche roll with cream cheese, watermelon, lychees
Lunch: Pesto savoury pancake with tomatoes and garlic mushrooms, Greek yoghurt with some mashed up strawberries
Dinner: Cheese toastie on whole grain bread, green beans, carrots
No snacks

Breakfast: Omelette made in microwave with spinach, tomatoes and peppers. Half a banana.
Lunch: Porridge with other half of banana and peanut butter, pieces of cheddar cheese, cucumber
Dinner: Homemade Tofu Pad Thai with sugarsnap peas and peppers
Snack: Watermelon

Breakfast: Whole grain toast with butter and peanut butter, watermelon
Lunch: Veggie Pizza slice (eaten out) plus five or so chips, a couple of spoonfuls of vanilla ice cream
Dinner: Cheesy Mashed Potato and Sweet potato with scrambled egg with tomatoes and spinach
No snacks

Toddler also has around 300-400mls of semi-skimmed milk a day, otherwise water.
Is 50%ile for weight.

So AIBU?

Sounds fine and more varied and interesting than the diets of most kids (and adults)! I wouldn't want to give processed snacks personally, and there's no rule that anyone needs to have a traditional 'hot dinner' every night, so just do what works for you.

Essentially what I said. But then afterwards realised she seemed quite genuinely concerned so started to question if I’m somehow being deluded in thinking what I’m feeding toddler is fine and she has some kind of point that I was missing because I felt criticised.

Fair enough :)
like I said, not what I would feed but nothing inherently wrong and you know your child.

and in response to your question- yes, the full fat is related to brain and physical development, due to energy density. Not related to weight gain in the sense of tracking on centiles.

I suppose it's just because you are doing it differently to her and she thinks she's 'right'. I can never be arsed to make shepherd's pie or fish pie, too much faffing about 😂

Ok cool. Thanks. I guess that’s an easy change to make. I’ll get some full fat milk.

😂 exactly. And I mean they’re fine but to me not that much of a culinary excitement that it’s worth it.

Sounds absolutely fine to me.

I have a 1 year old too and he does have snacks but that's because they offer 2 snacks a day at nursery so that's just the routine he's used to now.

If a 1 year old is hungry, they will generally let you know.

I have a 1 year old. What you are feeding sounds just fine to me.

She sounds like an absolute prick and not a friend at all. Tell her to feck right off!

If you (or your friend) have concerns about a toddler diet, speak to your health visitor. Or take a look at the courses offered by the local children's centre. The one near me often runs sessions on child nutrition.

I can't see how old your DC is but I think you'd know if they needed snacks tbh. Mine would start to let me know if they were hungry by their behaviour before they could verbalise/indicate it. DC2 was definitely having an afternoon snack from 12 months but he has always been a foodie and it was obvious he needed it to tide him over to dinner time. DC1 I think was about 18m when I introduced an afternoon snack. My kids often have a morning snack too but that epends on what we're doing/what time they ate brekkie and when we will have lunch etc whether they need something to tide them over or not, but they're 5 and 2 now.

I think diet looks fine but agree id give full fat milk and everything else. We are vegetarian so eat some similar stuff to you.

Some of the meals do seem a bit random, and a couple were a bit protein-light. But it's a balanced diet overall, lots of different tastes and textures to explore. Bet her child isn't eating spinach, peppers and tofu.

Generally doesn't look bad. Agree about the full fat milk. Only other thought is building in a bit more iron rich food?

Fuck her shepherds pie. Your child is thriving, eating enough, eating regularly, eating varied foods? Where do people get off with thinking they should have a go

That sounds like you've got your one-year-old on Girl Dinners.

Our DD's schedule at nursery (18 months old) is to have two snacks.

DD deffo sometimes gets a bit grumpy if we are late on a snack at the weekend, so I think she needs them.

But if your kiddo seems happy and not grumpy between meals, then if it ain't broke... it might be that with a later breakfast or milk in the day she isn't hungry?

I have noticed that the French routine appears to be no morning snack (just an afternoon one).

Your meals look great to me.

During the week our DD's schedule looks like this :
Breakfast: slice of toast with peanut butter or Philadelphia and a bit of fruit
Snack: fruit
Lunch: something like pasta and sauce, or rice and daal
Snack: yoghurt and a banana
Tea: gnocchi and butter with a few peas
She still has formula.

Weekends are less healthy: eg she might get a cookie while we are out and about rather than the choooed up fruit we send her to nursery with. And timings go haywire!

It's annoying of your friend to be judgey. Motherhood sometimes does this weird thing though that people are keen to get it "right" that they become weirdly judgey. If she's not normally like this then maybe let it fly... otherwise you might need to start making some pointed comments about how it's ok for different people to do things differently, there isn't only one way...

I would be more concerned about this than the snacks, to be honest.

It's fine to be vegetarian and raise your children vegetarian. But it IS more work to get them the protein and complex nutrients in a meat-free diet and it you're going that way, you should research how to do it in a way that benefits your child and ensures you're providing enough of a mix of foods, rather than a slapped together dinner (which I would otherwise think was fine).

Dinner: Canned sweet corn cooked with spoonful of cream cheese & feta, piece of baguette. Other half of breakfast banana.
Not the point of the thread but how did you manage to keep the banana edible from breakfast time? Mine goes off after an hour.

I agree with pp regarding a snack mid morning and mid afternoon, toddler is going too long between meals.

PS we never do pudding unless you count giving her a yoghurt if she still seems peckish

We are also very, very low meat. There's loads of protein in yoghurt, lentils, eggs, cheese, baked beans etc. Discussed it with our pediatrician who didn't seem remotely concerned

Full fat milk also contains more fat soluble vitamins such as vit D which skimmed doesn't. Otherwise sounds really healthy and a lot better than snacking on soreen bars and raisins which are bad for teeth🦷

Yeah that's what I'm thinking really. There's not a lot of protein in the list you've posted. You say you eat beans and legumes but they're not on the list.

Young children don't need as much protein as adults and they need more carbs than us but they do need protein and because they're not eating much of it what they do eat needs to have higher amounts of other nutrients. Cheese and nuts especially don't cut it as far as that is concerned. Eggs and tofu are better but overall it's still lacking.

Between 1and2 babies need lots of fats for brain development so apart form full fat milk make sure your baby gets enough- peanut butter, avocados etc

Doesn’t seem like enough food maybe? But hard to judge as kids so different; I’m sure you’d be able to tell if hungry.

I think nhs does recommend 2 x snacks a day though. It also gives some suggestions if you need inspo.

Maybe she’s commenting on lack of hot food/protein for dinner too? Not her place to be judgey of course but it does seem like quite ‘bread’ snack based main meals and you just want to set him up to accept normal hot meals later in life when he’s at school etc. if he has a v limited diet now it may be harder to get him to eat a diverse menu later BUT, I did follow all the guidance and also offer diverse meals as a toddler and am still now left with super fussy 5 year old so certainly no expert myself :)

Please not dried fruit. My dentist once waxed lyrical on the tooth rotting caused by dried fruit. She told me the prime offenders were the keen to do everything right mother, usually slightly older, who was determined that their child would not be having sugar but "healthy" things like dried fruit which are of course very high in sugar. Because they never gave their child sugar they didn't see the need for dental check ups. Eventually the child gets toothache and then the dentist has to deal with decay everywhere. Slightly older children were having root canals to save second teeth. Cleaning teeth afterward doesn't ward it off either as it clings in microscopic particle in nooks and crannies. She said giving a child sweets rather than dried fruit was preferable because they don't cling like dried fruit. Some toddlers end up having all their rotten first teeth extracted under general anesthesia and that causes all sorts of problems when the second teeth start to grow in without first teeth as placeholders.

This reads like a boast post