That I AM feeding my baby ‘proper’ food

[GreenButterBlackBean]

A friend commented today that she felt bad for my one year old because I don’t feed them ‘proper’ meals. I feel we’ve got a pretty reasonable diet. Not perfect, but nothing to get excited about either. Friend implied strongly that a) too many of my meals are lazy/easy, b) not enough traditional hot meals (listed meals she makes for her family eg shepherd’s pie, fish pie, etc) and c) that I’m being borderline neglectful for not routinely offering snacks between meals (says her kids get those wrapped cheese sticks, crackers, raisins, yoghurt tubes, soreen bars, etc and I should be giving those two in between meals), d) I’m horrible for not offering desert after every meal whilst simultaneously getting it wrong serving fruit or yoghurt at the same time as meals.
Found myself getting more and more annoyed and frankly defensive. So thought I’d ask for feedback here. Am I really getting it all wrong?

For context to best of recollection last few days one year old had the following:

Breakfast: Porridge with semi skim milk, half a banana and spoonful of peanut butter plus a few quartered grapes
Lunch: Slice of whole grain bread with hummus and carrot, couple of pieces of mature cheddar, lychees, strawberries
Dinner: Canned sweet corn cooked with spoonful of cream cheese & feta, piece of baguette. Other half of breakfast banana.
No snacks

Breakfast: Small brioche roll with cream cheese, watermelon, lychees
Lunch: Pesto savoury pancake with tomatoes and garlic mushrooms, Greek yoghurt with some mashed up strawberries
Dinner: Cheese toastie on whole grain bread, green beans, carrots
No snacks

Breakfast: Omelette made in microwave with spinach, tomatoes and peppers. Half a banana.
Lunch: Porridge with other half of banana and peanut butter, pieces of cheddar cheese, cucumber
Dinner: Homemade Tofu Pad Thai with sugarsnap peas and peppers
Snack: Watermelon

Breakfast: Whole grain toast with butter and peanut butter, watermelon
Lunch: Veggie Pizza slice (eaten out) plus five or so chips, a couple of spoonfuls of vanilla ice cream
Dinner: Cheesy Mashed Potato and Sweet potato with scrambled egg with tomatoes and spinach
No snacks

Toddler also has around 300-400mls of semi-skimmed milk a day, otherwise water.
Is 50%ile for weight.

So AIBU?

I’d be worried about iron levels OP. My youngest is 4 now, and I don’t live in the UK, but they made a big deal to us about including meat in our baby’s food from 6months because of the need to keep their iron stores at a healthy level. I think they made an especially big deal about it to me because I breastfed. Formula is highly fortified with iron. I’m sure there are ways of getting iron rich foods into a mostly vegetarian toddler, but I’d be checking that carefully. Eggs might be a good source. Iron is a big deal brain development which obviously is pretty crucial in a 1year old in a way it isn’t for say, a 15 year old or an adult.

This.
Your toddler has brilliant meals. Ignore her.

My vegan friends were also told my their paediatrician to give their toddler meat. And they are doing it despite being vegans themselves.

Soreeen and cheese sticks?

She's bonkers

Vegetarian sources of iron are fine, doesn't have to be red meat! I maintained really good iron levels as a veggie during pregnancy (last time it was regularly measured).

Good sources, many of which OP mentions, are beans and pulses, nuts, fortified cereals, dried fruit, tofu, green veg. Really not the problem some posters are suggesting, and I find healthcare professionals often lack knowledge on veggie sources.

That’s interesting. Were they in the UK or elsewhere? The quantities advised here to insure babies and toddlers get enough iron are small, very much toddler sized - like 2 spoons worth a day or perhaps the equivalent of a quarter of a small adult sized portion of meat/fish.

@Wholettherabbitsout not in the UK, another European country. Mum was breastfeeding for a long time and baby wasn’t eating much food so maybe that’s why they were concerned (mum is vegan too). Baby never got any fortified formula.

also in the UK I have never heard that paediatrician do routine check ups but seems to be the norm in other countries.

it's fine and doubt a child that age would eat much more than that. my boy has very few snacks at 2 and sometimes only 2 meals a day because he's not a breakfast person at all

Yes we had monthly paediatrician or family dr check ups for the first year. We eat meat but not in huge quantities but I did feel I had to make an effort to include a little frequently when weaning our kids. I was looking for NHS sources on this and I found this list : https://www.worcsacute.nhs.uk/documents/documents/patient-information-leaflets-a-z/iron-in-your-child-s-diet-advice-for-increasing-iron-rich-food-in-your-child-s-diet/

It looks like babies age 6months to 12 months actually need more iron that kids up to 6years old. This will be why the drs here were making a big deal of including meat and fish to me - babies under don’t always eat much quantity wise so if they need a higher intake of iron you really have to be careful to include high iron foods.
They also push formula until at least 2 years old here, rather than switching to cows milk at 12 months like in the UK - just because formula is fortified with iron. I breastfed and then moved to cows milk at 2, so I did worry about getting iron rich foods in to my toddlers.

We didn’t do pudding until recently (my LO is almost 2), she gets it at nursery and started asking! (My puddings are normally yougart and fruit, or home made rice pudding) I think you’re meals sound fine on the whole, but agree re full fat milk, and assume your LO is drinking plenty of milk too? And I offer snacks as I think most little ones struggle to go long without food, but if yours is drinking plenty of milk maybe not needed. Your “friend” doesn’t sound like a friend to me. I doubt I’d say anything, except re whole milk

it's nearly 1 where i am. my 2 year old so far has eaten about 2 spoons of scrambled egg, a bottle of milk and a handful of air fryer popcorn chicken. social services are on their way

I've stopped giving mine snacks regularly because they don't always go for them, so YANBU on that one.

I do agree on the protein though and would aim for one good source of protein at each of lunch and dinner, and definitely at least once a day. Eggs, tofu, pulses plus a starch makes a complete protein - so beans on toast is good, with the low salt/sugar beans for a toddler or you can make your own. Mine like stuff like chickpea curries and dals as well, with rice or flatbread.

Soreen bars are so sticky and sweet. They can't be good for a child's teeth at all, especially as a snack without anything else.

There’s also a website called.’ Plant based juniors ‘

It gives a full explanation on how to get enough iron. It difficult to get the quantities needed whether your child is a meat eater or not and they suggest
fortified foods, eg formula or / and oat based cereals.

Its worth a read OP.

Just to be clear I’m not saying anyone absolutely must feed their child meat if they prefer to remain vegetarian, just that iron seems to be a crucial issue for babies and toddlers and it probably requires planning and monitoring for most of us. Whether that’s making sure to include a small serving of meat a few times a week, using formula instead of cows milk for a toddler, or buying fortified cereals doesn’t bother me. It does obviously depend on what your child will deign to eat too.

Agree!

I think that seems fine but I probably would give more for snacks but ds is a big eater and I tend to give him snacks if I think he's getting hungry. Snacks for us would be a cheese/ ham bap or fruit and yoghurt etc.

The main thing here is as long as your wee one seems content, is tracking along nicely on centiles etc and isn't appearing hungry or to be losing weight then I think you're grand. I can't imagine a context where a 'friend' would say things like that.

@Lavender14

a cheese/ham bap is a meal. Like a lunch. Not a snack.

OP your "friend" is a nasty bitch and to top it off she's absolutely clueless.

I don't get why brioche is given to children especially if they like normal wholemeal bread. I'm very impressed your 1 yr old ate the Pad Thai though!
Our 3 yr old often won't eat what we eat but loves hummus, cottage cheese, tuna and other so called easy meals.

I agree with you about the snacking but your meals seem to be very carb/bread reliant and lacking in protein and iron. I would introduce one red meat meal a week (such as bolognese or beef curry), one chicken meal, and one oily fish.

I mean a small bap, not a full adult sized sandwich bap. My sons baby group get this at nursery most weeks. Obviously you adjust the portion size to suit the age of the child.