That I AM feeding my baby ‘proper’ food

[GreenButterBlackBean]

A friend commented today that she felt bad for my one year old because I don’t feed them ‘proper’ meals. I feel we’ve got a pretty reasonable diet. Not perfect, but nothing to get excited about either. Friend implied strongly that a) too many of my meals are lazy/easy, b) not enough traditional hot meals (listed meals she makes for her family eg shepherd’s pie, fish pie, etc) and c) that I’m being borderline neglectful for not routinely offering snacks between meals (says her kids get those wrapped cheese sticks, crackers, raisins, yoghurt tubes, soreen bars, etc and I should be giving those two in between meals), d) I’m horrible for not offering desert after every meal whilst simultaneously getting it wrong serving fruit or yoghurt at the same time as meals.
Found myself getting more and more annoyed and frankly defensive. So thought I’d ask for feedback here. Am I really getting it all wrong?

For context to best of recollection last few days one year old had the following:

Breakfast: Porridge with semi skim milk, half a banana and spoonful of peanut butter plus a few quartered grapes
Lunch: Slice of whole grain bread with hummus and carrot, couple of pieces of mature cheddar, lychees, strawberries
Dinner: Canned sweet corn cooked with spoonful of cream cheese & feta, piece of baguette. Other half of breakfast banana.
No snacks

Breakfast: Small brioche roll with cream cheese, watermelon, lychees
Lunch: Pesto savoury pancake with tomatoes and garlic mushrooms, Greek yoghurt with some mashed up strawberries
Dinner: Cheese toastie on whole grain bread, green beans, carrots
No snacks

Breakfast: Omelette made in microwave with spinach, tomatoes and peppers. Half a banana.
Lunch: Porridge with other half of banana and peanut butter, pieces of cheddar cheese, cucumber
Dinner: Homemade Tofu Pad Thai with sugarsnap peas and peppers
Snack: Watermelon

Breakfast: Whole grain toast with butter and peanut butter, watermelon
Lunch: Veggie Pizza slice (eaten out) plus five or so chips, a couple of spoonfuls of vanilla ice cream
Dinner: Cheesy Mashed Potato and Sweet potato with scrambled egg with tomatoes and spinach
No snacks

Toddler also has around 300-400mls of semi-skimmed milk a day, otherwise water.
Is 50%ile for weight.

So AIBU?

@GreenButterBlackBean
I have a one year old (22 months) and based on her intake I don't think your child is eating enough. The combo of food is odd to me as well but different strokes I guess.

My daughter is on a 7am-7pm routine. Typical meals include

Breakfast: porridge (one sachet of Quaker Oats so simple) with full fat milk, spoonful peanut butter or granola with yogurt or sugar free alpen or shreddies.

Snack; yogurt plus fruit (1 banana or 2 clementines but I don't place a limit). Or 1 slice jam/peanut butter on toast

Lunch: fish pie (2 portions), mixed salad
Carrot cake, yogurt (half a pot) or sausages (2) with mash or orzo or risotto with chicken

Snack: meltys and cheese

Dinner: vegetarian stir fry.

During the week she's FT at nursery and I'd known to have multiple portions. Shes 75th centile for weight and height. Very active (walking, swimming, gymnastics, dancing, park etc) and drinks lots of water throughout the day.

She doesn't drink milk so maybe that's part of the difference .

That wouldn't have been enough for mine. Full fat milk and probably another meal with a bit more carbohydrate- probably something like dal.

I never gave mine snacks. I come from a background of believing that eating between meals spoils your appetite. My three grew and grew without snacks. They cost me a fortune in clothes and shoes so I don’t think they starved.

Your friend isn’t a friend.

If I was going to be picky I would say she should be having full fat dairy, there isn’t much iron or protein, also no oily fish and unless your making your own bread/pesto a fair amount of UPF. My children don’t have a perfect diet so yours sounds fine.

Sounds mostly good, although gwt rid of the processed food at this age. Full fat milk, not skimmed. And canned food has far too much sodium for a one year old.

Sounds healthy to me.

All babies/toddlers are different anyway. my LO eats tiny amounts, My friends eat a lot. As long as they are growing how they are meant to thats the indicater of it being enough.

Your LO will definitely tell you if they are hungry.

Sounds healthier then your friend anyway if nit picking.

Lol come on everyone.

OP's DC gets a textbook diet with about a billion portions of fruit and veg and every healthy ingredient known to man but apparently her "friend" says she's cruel for not offering her kid sheps pie for dinner with trifle for dessert?

Aye right.

Your friend is suggesting snacks piled with sugar. Ignore her

This. Snacks are not needed, if a child needs a snack they will let you know. I do not routinely offer snacks to my one year old or toddler unless they seem hungry or ask. Otherwise, they eat a well rounded diet, no processed food and lots of vegetables, fruit and the correct amount of protein.

OP, yes to full fat milk, I would consider increasing protein. Otherwise, diet is fine and healthy and you don't need to spend hours cooking each day to provide a great meal for your child.

Is it possible OP, that there is no so called friend and you just posted this to show what a well balanced diet your baby is on? 😂

I’m just saying, I see many posts like this when clearly the diet they are showing is perfect but someone had a “problem” with it 😐

Hmm. I’m torn. I don’t think any of this is all or nothing.

I think firstly, your friend is not a friend, if she is heavily critical and makes you feel like shit. She will only continue to do it with other aspects of your parenting so i’d say get rid.

I also don’t agree with her about puddings. Having a pudding after each meal is alien to me, my nursery don’t even do it.

I would agree about offering snacks, even if just fruit.

I have to echo opinions of some PPs. The food is generally a bit random. (Eg there’s no pasta there!) It sounds lovely, but I would think about DC’s future where they won’t be getting meals like this at nursery school, but it sounds quite tricky to make into packed-lunch form.

I would also echo that some days seem quite bread heavy, and there is one day where I think there aren’t enough calories.

You say you eat a lot of pulses etc but I’m not seeing this evidenced in your menu, so like a Pp, i would also include more iron and protein.

Does your DC have a vitamin supplement?

I’m not one to judge though. You should see the crap my 3 year old eats.

It doesn’t have to be all or nothing really. We’ll have plenty of nice meals like fish curry in the slow cooker, risotto, pasta with fresh sauce, but we’ll do fish fingers sometimes.

Sorry, should’ve read the whole thing before posting. But yeah, this!

I didn't feed my DC snacks regularly (only if they were hungry), I think most kids eat too many snacks now. Your DC's menu seems fine, perhaps a little light in protein as others have said but basically fine. Ignore your friend.

Many toddlers don't eat snacks, it's not a one size fits all. This is a great diet both nutritionally and dental wise. Current guidance is whole milk until 2. Then Semi skimmed is fine...Paeds dietitian here..

Perfect! As for snacks: I seem to remember some recommendations about offering 2-3 snacks a day, one of them would probably be the evening bottle in your case. But I would simply follow the current guidelines whilst also considering your LO’s preferences and individual needs. Edit: which mean mean that you won’t offering snacks on most day!

fresh vegetables, plain yoghurt and fresh fruit might be good snacks. But why raisins and foods such as crackers or yoghurt sticks? Those aren’t particularly valuable nutritionally and bad for teeth health!

Edit: which may mean that you won’t be offering snacks on most day!

goodness 😅

It's fine, maybe a little wheat heavy - the second day you basically had bread/cake every meal (brioche, pancake, baguette) - that's a lot of wheat.

Maybe just be aware of varying carbs, but it's pretty much fine, I wouldn't worry too much. I would offer a snack in case they get hungry between lunch and dinner.

There is no salt added to canned sweetcorn. Most canned vegetables are fine.

I do not get this obsession with snacks. Sounds like your child is a good eater, and not having snacks is probably part of that. Even as an adult, I try to avoid snacking. Getting used to the sensation of mild hunger and understand when your body is ready for food is really important. When I was growing up, the advice yo.lose weight was always 'don't eat between meals'. I know this isn't the point of the thread and that scientific enquiry in the 80s had a long way to go, but I still think that snacks are totally overrated and I'd rather my kids' calories were spread over 3 main meals.

I do think you need to be giving full fat milk, but you already acknowledged that. Bit more protein too.

I wouldn't be friends with someone who stuck their nose into my parenting like this.

Op, there you have it.

Next time your friend starts ranting, tell her you have consulted a paediatric dietician who told you the above. End of conversation.

So your friend feeds her kids junk n between meals and thinks you are in the wrong?

Full fat milk is important because the fat soluanle vitamins aid in brain growth and development rather than for calories.

Brown bread can be constipating for little ones but barring any actual issues I wouldn’t change it.

I agree with this, it's a lot of bread. Personally, I also think that if she's such a good eater you should introduce more meat into her diet since you aren't vegetarian yourself. Maybe once or twice a week introduce something with meat for her.

Otherwise it's nothing to worry about really and you should ignore people's comments. Everyone has something to say about how other people parent or feed their children.

Sounds very balanced, good to give her what you eat so that she transitions onto family meals with ease

I used to have the same problem but now I keep the skin on and cut the banana in half. Peel the half he’s eating now and keep the other half in the skin. Then usually is fine to eat as it is later or even the next day with just maybe the end that’s exposed sliced off thinly (or wrap end in cling film if I can be bothered). 😊