AIBU to have not offered any food with the wine?

[CosyDogs]

One of my friends wanted to watch a fight on TV but had no subscription to the channel that it was on. I do have a subscription but have no interest in watching fights, however I said that he and his friend could come to my house at 7pm to watch it and we can drink wine together. They bought a bottle of wine and I also provided a bottle.

While the match was on, I was in the room, but was reading as I don't like to see people fight. I wasn't completely engrossed in the book and we did chat and drink the wine. When the fight was over, we played cards, talked and opened another bottle. During the evening, my friend asked if I had any chocolate and I went to the kitchen and got a medium bar of chocolate and gave it to them. I had a small amount of chocolate as I don't usually eat late in the evening and they had the rest. They didn't ask for any more food and it didn't occur to offer anything else. They left around 11pm.

The next day, when we were talking, they mentioned that it was strange that I didn't offer them any food. I would have happily fed them, but I had already had dinner and assumed they had too and I don't usually eat that late. It simply didn't occur to me to start eating. WIBU to not offer more food? I am worried that I'm missing some obvious social standard that everyone else adheres to and I've been being a poor host.

teyused op ouse for teir own convenience and complained about not aving food

rude cfs

Whether I thought they may have eaten or not I probably would have offered food just to be hospitable

I would have provided crisps, nuts, cheese straws and olives to go with the wine. If your guests wanted to eat they should have suggested a takeaway, paid for by them as a thank you for having them. They should have bought two bottles of wine so you had one per person!

Amazed at all the posters here who'd rustle up a snack buffet for this pair of CFs 😃

Could they have not suggested a takeaway? Would you have paid for it even if you weren’t eating it (OP had already eaten).

It’s all very well posters saying they’d provide snacks (crisps, nuts etc) but what if you don’t have those at home? This wasn’t, after all, a planned invitation from the OP. If someone invited themselves to mine to watch something (unplanned) I’d have precious little in the way of random snacks as I tend to buy ingredients for dinners (and I wouldn’t be cooking).

If I turn up somewhere with wine, I also turn up with nibbles. Wine makes me want nibbles but I would never expect (nor rely on) someone else to provide them.

No they should have brought food or snacks if they wanted them. Cf!.

I eat well before 7 so I’d have assumed they’d have already eaten, especially since they weren’t invited over for dinner but to watch a fight. They really thought you were going to whip up a meal for them too? Rude - next time they can go to a sports bar

To be honest I think they were rude not to bring snacks with them.

They were only visiting because it gave them free access to a TV channel that they'd otherwise have had to pay to use. You hadn't offered to host a dinner party for them.

With your update I’ll err more towards it being less unusual given the circumstances described. And definitely rude of them to bring it up so please don’t think more about it

You are right. However, I meant that in general I wouldn't forget to offer people food when they are in my house.

You are also right that I need better friends, I hadn't thought of it quite that bluntly but their reaction was just rude. There were so many positives about the evening, but the only thing they mentioned was what they thought I should have done better.

My initial reaction to them telling me that were suprised that I didn't feed them more was to think "you ungrateful pair are never setting foot in my house again", but then the more I pondered it, the more I wondered if people usually give me snacks when I'm at their house, and I couldn't remember. I would notice if I didn't get offered a cup of tea, but snacks are the sort of thing that are nice to have but not expected, so I don't tend to remember if I am offered them or not. I also couldn't remember if I generally offer them or not. Then I got paranoid that snacks come as standard and I had been offending all my guests. It all became a bit of a mountain in my head!

It's ruder to accept this favour and not bring your own snacks. Could also have ordered a takeaway. Could also have paid for their own TV subscription. Could also have not been so rude as to complain, the guests are rude rude rude .

Yeh I think snacks should of been offered not a full on meal, nachos, dips, nuts that sort of thing

For me it is rude not to offer them any food but equally I agree with others it is rude not to bring anything or offer to buy takeaway. Doubly rude to criticise you about it! If I was in their shoes I'd 1) have brought snacks and 2) if sstarving have asked you if you fancied pizza and minded if I ordered some for everyone.

when I have people over for drinks, I always put out crisps, nuts, cocktail sausage rolls and cocktail sausages , I will also make brownies 🤣

My Irish friend told me English people are really stingy as you get offered tea and no biscuits. Her Irish friends apparently agree. Since then I've never failed to offer anyone food 😂

@CosyDogs “Then I got paranoid that snacks come as standard and I had been offending all my guests.”

THESE guests were in the wrong to be offended as frankly they were utilising your home for their benefit and not yours but if, as the above quote from you suggests, not offering snacks to your other invited guests is your standard behaviour then yes, I’m afraid you probably are offending people!
If I have invited people to my house outside of meal times I would always offer biscuits/cake/crisps with whatever beverages we were having. Always. It’s just good manners.

My DS uses "tea and no biscuits" as a euphemism for getting bollocked by your boss! I never offer tea to guests without offering biscuits, or cake, or a sandwich...my Irish aunties and Granny didn't either.

God people are so weird on MN. Usually is someone comes to your house for a few hours you offer them food/ nibbles. That's normal; it's called hospitality.
I'm not running to put my tin hat on and be told how wrong I am lolz.

^

Why have they mentioned it now, they could’ve asked at the time.

They should have brought snacks (including for you) or suggested that you all order pizza (and split the cost).

Definitely no obligation for you to provide food. Especially as you’d mentioned just wine earlier so it should have been clear that your weren’t providing dinner. It’s really rude that he mentioned it.

I think they were cheeky expecting food. If they were hungry they should have ordered a takeaway, and offered one to you, to say thanks for letting them watch the fight for free!

I think if they'd complained about the lack of food, when by your own admission you'd provided the subscription, the comfy home to watch it in, a bottle or wine AND some chocolate, I'd be pointing it out or at least offering a sarcastic "you're welcome for the use of MY subscription for something YOU wanted to watch by the way".

Absolute cheeky bastards. No, you shouldn't have fed them. They should have supplied their own food and offered to share.

@Moonshine5 - generally I'd agree with you - but when a person essentially invites themselves over to utilise your home because they're too tight to pay for it themselves, I think there's definitely more of an onus on the visitors than the host.

I would always offer food to guests, but these seem more like imposers than guests tbh!

They are cheeky fuckers! You invited them to use your house, they should have offered arranging a takeaway in advance, and brought you a gift like chocolates or flowers. The absolute cheek of them.

I disagree with OP, I'd always provide crisps and nibbles when people come round drinking of an evening.