To have bathed my niece?

[Glass113]

I babysit my toddler niece regularly as I don't work Fridays and have a daughter around the same age so they play together and generally have a nice time. Niece has never stayed over as SIL doesn't like being away from her overnight.

Yesterday I had my niece and SIL was working later than normal so picked her up about 6:30.

We baked and decorated cakes in the afternoon and naturally both kids had flour, icing and whatever else all over them and in their hair etc so I put them both in the bath and washed their hair. I popped my niece in a pair of my daughters pj's.

When dear SIL arrived I explained they'd got a bit messy so I'd bathed and changed her. She didn't say much and left quite quickly.

I've had a text this morning saying she doesn't want me to babysit again for a while as I've crossed a boundary bathing her child and she would never dream of bathing a child that wasn't hers.

I am mortified and devastated to be honest. Did I really do such a terrible thing?

Totally overreacting, when I first read the post I assumed you were male, to which I thought this is still ok but when I read on and found that you were female that affirmed my veiw.

If you were a man you would have pretty obviously crossed a line, but you're not so you haven't. She (the SIL not the niece) seems weird.

I get it if the mum is a bit over-worried about their child slipping/hurting themselves in the bath (even though sure they were being watched by you) but doesn't sound like that's the issue.

OP updated and they have sorted this amicably

I wouldn't bathe someone else's child, without checking with them first, relative or not. I wouldn't stop you babysitting but I'd ask you just to leave child slightly messy next time.

Eh?

Why "eh?" Werweisswohin?
A man shouldn't bathe a little girl.
YUCK!

Father's shouldn't bathe daughters?

Fathers and daughters?

OK for very young daughters that's the only exception I guess. I don't actually remember my father bathing me but I guess he did. Yes I think he was in the bathroom when my mum & I bathed my sister, so OK!

@SmogEmitter

HOW OLD ARE YOU

Old. Obviously. What does it matter, anyway? You are allowed to know silly rhymes and have memories that don't resonate with people born after 1975. (I'm also old enough to know what a question mark's for, incidentally.)

I've only just seen this btw. Can't believe the thread's still running.

My dad bathed me and my sister - because he's our parent. I bathed my little boy - because I'm his parent.

It was more the assumption that it's automatically ok because the person is female. More men are abusers but some women are also abusers.

As you admit, more men are abusers - but it's not just that. It's at least potentially perverted for a man to see a girl or woman (unless his wife or girlfriend) in the bath or shower. Whether we like it or not, we have bodies that need privacy.

It's perverted for a man to see his own young DD naked?

NPET · Today 17:22
As you admit, more men are abusers - but it's not just that. It's at least potentially perverted for a man to see a girl or woman (unless his wife or girlfriend) in the bath or shower. Whether we like it or not, we have bodies that need privacy”

Don't be ridiculous. We have a 4 year old grandson. Dad is working all day Mon-Fri, mum isn’t atm. So dad does bath time and bedtime or he just wouldn’t see him. Are you seriously suggesting that he can’t do the same with another child if she’s a daughter?

I said earlier that fathers bathing very young daughters would be the exception. I would hate to grow up thinking that any other man (bro, cousin, uncle, next door neighbour) had seen me in the bathroom!

I said earlier that fathers bathing very young daughters would be the exception. I would hate to grow up thinking that any other man (bro, cousin, uncle, next door neighbour) had seen me in the bathroom!

@NPET

Both my uncles have seen me both in the bathroom as a little girl when we would stay at their houses and also in the back garden with nothing on. Their little girls, my cousins, also had nothing on, we were in a private back yard in a paddling pool. And guess what? Until you mentioned it, I'd never given it a second thought. Because guess what? Not everyone is sinister, not everyone is a danger.

No they aren't - BUT there's no way of knowing which ones are sinister and which aren't, and I feel sorry for any girls who've been seen by men or boys in that way - because, whether sinister or not, those men and boys will remember!

No they aren't - BUT there's no way of knowing which ones are sinister and which aren't, and I feel sorry for any girls who've been seen by men or boys in that way - because, whether sinister or not, those men and boys will remember!

@NPET

Please don't feel sorry for me! I had a wonderful, carefree happy childhood with amazing close and wider family including the male relatives. I wouldn't change it for the world.

You didn’t do anything wrong. She sounds like a massive weirdo and a bit fucked in the head. Just say okay and keep looking after your own family. I pity her child having to grow up with such an uptight and insecure parent.

We don’t have bodies that need privacy. WTAF 😂😂😂 Privacy is a social construct and varies from culture to culture and personal upbringing/identity. Bodies are just bodies. Do you think a doctor gets a hard on thinking about your bits on the operating table?? You’re a human with a human body. Your body‘s needs differ from your personal wishes.

@NPET Whether we like it or not, we have bodies that need privacy

Tell that to my kids🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Seriously, no shut toilet or bathroom doors here, and if I have it shut it doesn’t work - mum, have you seen my football kit, mum do you know where x is, mum what temperature and how long does the lasagne go on for, mum I’m going out with x after work and won’t be home for dinner, and so on.

If we ever had/have guests over, then all kids shut the toilet and bathroom doors and took/take clothes into shower rather than doing a post shower nuddie run to their room. But with just all of us, they definitely DON’T feel they have bodies that need privacy. Funnily, when their grandmother (my mother) was alive they never treated her as a ‘guest’ in this regard either and she’d be copping eyefuls left, right and centre as well. It’s not something they have ever grown out of, so I’d say, no, not everybody needs privacy in their own home to the extent you think everyone does🤣.

"copping eyefuls" doesn't sound very healthy for the ppl being seen! No boy or man is "copping an eyeful" of my body!

Good for you @NPET Good for you.

I definitely cop eyefuls of my kids (both male and female) when I walk past their bathrooms in the normal course of life, or do laundry which is directly off one bathroom. I’m a busy person with a busy schedule, I’m not going to NOT do laundry in the only time available to me because one of my adult sons is in the shower and can’t be bothered to shut the door. At least it’s better than a house we lived in before where a shower was right in line of sight from the kitchen bench where I meal prepped. That was a joy.

Ling if the short, they don’t see it as unhealthy for THEM. Do, who am I to argue. As i said d above, ⬆️ f there are guests over, I note they all shut toilet and bathroom doors, so guessing they don’t want guests to ‘cop an eyeful’, but I’m not sure what’s untoward about them being there comfortable about me/DH/siblings doing so?