To have bathed my niece?

[Glass113]

I babysit my toddler niece regularly as I don't work Fridays and have a daughter around the same age so they play together and generally have a nice time. Niece has never stayed over as SIL doesn't like being away from her overnight.

Yesterday I had my niece and SIL was working later than normal so picked her up about 6:30.

We baked and decorated cakes in the afternoon and naturally both kids had flour, icing and whatever else all over them and in their hair etc so I put them both in the bath and washed their hair. I popped my niece in a pair of my daughters pj's.

When dear SIL arrived I explained they'd got a bit messy so I'd bathed and changed her. She didn't say much and left quite quickly.

I've had a text this morning saying she doesn't want me to babysit again for a while as I've crossed a boundary bathing her child and she would never dream of bathing a child that wasn't hers.

I am mortified and devastated to be honest. Did I really do such a terrible thing?

I’d have been grateful they’d had a great time & you’d bathed her for me. You SIL is totally unreasonable here imo.

Absolutely nothing wrong done. Your SIL owes you an apology for sure.

Steer clear of babysitting OP, who knows what she will say next. Maybe try to have a few more get-togethers at MIL's where they can play. Or maybe MIL could babysit both? Not sure if that's an option, but would be nice every so often if possible , as then the girls can keep in touch as they grow up together.

Surely she didn’t expect you to leave the child in a mess after baking. When you have sole charge of a child you do what is necessary to keep them happy and comfortable. SIL is totally out of order.

I'm hoping your SIL calms down and apologises for her outburst. You sound a brilliant aunt and I'm so sorry you're upset by this. Please don't feel bad.

It could be that she's highly anxious, cherishes bath time or has a trauma she's keeping quiet. But regardless of her reason, the way she spoke to you was really out of order. If she's unhappy about anything she rings you up or pops round and talks to you, not send shitty texts. She owes you a big apology because whether she means to or not she's cast aspersions on your character and I'd be hopping mad.

I think you dealt with it really well. I hope she apologises and explains soon.

Sorry I missed the short username. I thought they were the same post and she was saying it was both juvenile and creepy. ( ie I read your post as part of series: that’s why it was not making sense to me. )

It is probably a personal thing. I find anything too graphic concerning young children unnerving because I don’t know who’s posting and therefore can’t gauge their motives iyswim. But I was sa as a young child so am hypersensitive in this regard.

The post just popped up in the middle of the thread so I was surprised. I thought it could have said the same thing in a more general, less graphic way.

@Ramalangadingdong that was my post you referred to. It certainly wasn't intended to be provocative just factually stating how a baby is cleaned. Im sorry if thats triggering due to your awful experience. If it offers you any reassurance, I work in childcare.

I used to babysit my toddler DN’s alongside my son, who was older. My house my rules so all three would go for muddy walks, crafts, messy teas, baths and hair washes. And if they slept over they’d all sleep better in my bed sometimes with me in it otherwise I’d be on the sofa. Happy wonderful memories.

Your SIL is being utterly ridiculous.

I would not babysit again she is being weird let her find someone else from now on.

You are allowed to change nappies but not bathe the child. Your SIL is being silly

How upsetting. I have given my niece a bath when she stayed over. She has the issue not you.

Unpopular opinion, it would initially make me uncomfortable too. I would’ve expected you to message me to ask.

Most instances of abuse are by family members which is why it makes me uncomfortable. HOWEVER I’d give my head a wobble before texting anything and I’d remind myself that if I trust you enough to change their nappy and care for my child for free then I’d need to get over it.

That's wild!

Let us know how things go with your hubby and his brother tomorrow

Good God, I hope you don't have daughters...

Poo frequently gets to the entrance of the vagina. It's extremely important to clean it all away, otherwise the baby can get rashes or UTIs. In order to do this, you have to part the labia.

Grown women who can't handle the word 'labia' are the most concerning part of this thread.

Most instances of abuse are by family members which is why it makes me uncomfortable.

The excuse of giving a bath isn't needed though.

Abusers will find a way.

@serin I echo the concern of others about your post and hope you don't have daughters or have the care of girl babies. If you don't clean them properly you are putting them at higher risk of urinary infections, which can in some cases have chronic consequences including kidney damage. I presume you don't have such an odd attitude to your own intimate hygiene (if you are a woman)?

Would she rather pick her daughter up caked in flour etc? She probably would have moaned about that. Take no notice of her, my MIL bathed my daughter when she stayed over (and stepsons) and I bathed my stepsons when they were little. It's basic care

I would never babysit for her ever again as she seems to be insinuating potential abuse.

Very perculiar response to a female family member who looks after your child regularly, who has a dd the same age and who you are happy to let change your child's nappies especially as the OP had a valid reason for the bath.

Bit odd too that she didn't say exactly what the problem was, I would have expected someone who says you've overstepped a boundary to say "because...". Well I certainly would.

I grew up being bathed by various aunties with various cousins and I'm pretty sure no-one thought to check with my parents first.

Surely babysitting duties would sometimes require bathing and washing a child!? Especially when she is your niece. I wouldn’t think twice to giving my daughter and niece a bath if they had got really messy at my house. I’d worry about sending her back filthy!!

She sounds nuts. And rude. She can forget having her free babysitter!

Your SIL is just plain nuts!

what a weirdo😂
you can change her nappy but can’t bath her, i’d be really insulted and refuse to have her own my own again. my SIL is a nightmare but she wouldn’t be bothered about me bathing my neice and she’s bathed my children to! i’ve bathed all my friends babys i’ve looked after to!

Do not babysit again for her, she is ungrateful.

No i don't think that's weird at all especially when she's still in nappies! What would SIL expect you to do if niece had a poo explosion or was sick on herself or spilled food/drink? I'd be grateful that you saved me a job tbh!
BUT Maybe let her calm down a bit then talk to her about it calmly? I guess it's her right to say she doesn't want anyone else bathing her kid

Last time I looked after my nephews and niece, my SIL gave me their bathing schedule 😂. Your SIL is weird.