To think men just hate women?

[Justsomethoughts]

The more I think about it, the more I conclude that men must despise us. I think the news today about Wayne Couzens has got me pondering… My thoughts as follows:

Ive read so many threads on here about how little men contribute to household work.
Women are expected to do 99% of housework and childcare whilst sucking it up and looking pretty. This percentage doesn’t seem to change much if they also work. God forbid women complain (I refuse to use the word nag, a word only used by men when talking about women!) as they asked for a family and should be grateful they have a husband and children.

We should look visually appealing/maintain our appearance for as long as possible but not too much - that would be ‘asking for it’. If we don’t we will probably be replaced by a younger/more attractive model.

We can’t walk alone at night as we are at risk of harm (by men).

A very large proportion of female homicides are committed by males living with the victim

The list goes on and on. I know these aren’t brand new facts and obviously ‘not all men’ before people come for me but my god it’s so depressing when you think about it.

I agree actually. In my experience there are good men and bad. Just the same as women.

It’s a crap world for women in many respects, and I think sadly a lot of men hate women. I fear for young girls growing up now. I also think a lot of guys -even decent ones -don’t realise the difficulties many women face in terms of safety etc

I do think onus also has to be put on women for their own decisions. Thread after thread on here of women having babies with men, not married and the guy walks off and leaves them with nothing. Women need to stop expecting someone else to do things for them. Don’t leave yourself open to financial abuse. You are responsible for your own future. And quite frankly, if you want something you need to go out and earn it yourself. Women need to raise their own bar.

Financial independence is the greatest gift you can give yourself and your daughters.

How to explain the widespread popularity of violent porn? It’s mainstream now. That confirms it for me really. What other group are filmed being hit spat at and abused? There would be an outcry. But women? That’s just fine.

I think on You Tube which I believe is mostly watched by men, there's not much love for women, I find that quite alarming as it is there in black and white and how a get men seem to be. Mind you, you even have women voicing the contempt for women on there as well!

No I don’t think all men hate women. Thats a sweeping generalisation if ever there was one. Life is always more complicated than that.

How angry not 'how a get'.

I don't think hate is quite the right word for the vast majority. I think its more an inate sense that we are different and lesser. That regardless of their individual relationships with specific women which may conflict with this, a belief that as a group, they are more intelligent, capable and better suited to run the world, and that our role is to be of use to them and to meet their needs; be that as ornaments, sexual partners, domestic workers, career facilitators, whatever is required. When we resist or are percieved to underperform in these duties, they tend to respond in ways ranging from discomfort to disgust, through to hatred and violence, depending on their own nature. As the group with power there is also a strong resistance to sharing that, or even losing it. Which I think is well illustrated by the rise of MRA in response to any move towards women's equality.

Not in my family, my dad was more hands on than my mum (his dad was the placid one and his mum a force to be reckoned with) and he's the most kind gentle man I think because of this, always very supportive in everything I do and in no way as you describe. On my mums side I would say my Nan and grandad were very equal, they were very artsy and creative though so a bit different for their time. My brother is very hands on.

My ex family were very 1950's in which the men worked and women did everything and that shows hence he is an ex. I think growing up this way made me a bit naive to how some men couple be and I have come across this however because of my dad and brother etc I have hope! I have two boys myself and I hope am raising them right.

What do you mean “on YouTube”?

There are billions of videos on YouTube. Billions! (And to help you out, one billion is a thousand million).

So there are all sorts of videos on there! Some misogynistic, some not.

Yet another example of men pushing into a women's space to deliver the unsought and unnecessary opinions of the Man God.

#letwomenspeak

So, now you, as a woman, think you can speak for me as a woman? No thanks. I value, want and appreciate the thoughts and opinions of both men and women equally and I'd really rather you didn't speak for me thanks.

What society has dealt women with is a lack of respect and a whole host of responsibilities.

We must promote perfectionism, stay in shape, keep our homes as palaces and care for children beyond our own needs and the help of our male counterparts.

It is just suffocating being a modern women, we cannot be comfortable in our skins, enjoy our freedoms and god forbid travel without our carriages and guards. The modern world hasn’t given as many opportunities as are being taken and we are now realising we cannot rely on lawful or political support to live equally or fairly.

I agree. I find the “the NAMALT crowd will be along soon” comment so tiring, it’s like shutting down those who might disagree with you before they even said anything. Great way to uplift other women 🙄

Not all of them but sadly many do and the consequences are dire: domestic violence, sexual assault, murder.

I think a lot as to do with patriarchal societies & religions that have always portrayed women as the property of men and inferior to them.

Basically a lesser being put on earth to service the needs of men that they can do whatever they want to...

Plus many are now angry that they don't get to be the 'masters' anymore as women rights have made a lot of progress and they take out their inadequacies on women and children.

I see it a lot in middle aged men and men in general: the sense of superiority and entitlement, the non-respect of women and their space in general, the aggression if you stand up for yourself...

Also I think the easy access to porn on the internet, which often shows women being degraded, has made thing worse and messed up their idea of sex and relationships.

At least women are speaking out now and refusing to put up with all the above but still a lot of progress to be made.

I am 53 and for me abusive behaviour from men started at home with verbal and physical aggression from my father, then assault from a boy at school, then throughout my adult life, including one sexual assault from a so called friend.

I have met some decent men too, usually the ones who love their wife and kid and have a really settled life with their family or the younger ones who have grown up with women who taught them about respecting women, and some really decent bosses and colleagues but they are the minority I am afraid.

I have simply withdrawn from dating a few years ago because I am no longer willing to put myself at risk or put up with any bullshit from men.

Wow, why are you so rude and condescending. I don't engage with such people.

I definitely think the older I get the more angry I feel at violence towards women, the not being able to walk alone at night in the same way a man can.

I have also reflected on incidents in the offices throughout my younger years (now 50) where I was asked to wear a skirt to sway a particular meeting etc.

Mumsnet has taught me so much in general about red flags, love bombing, mansplaining, how we should expect more such as children and men not babysitting their own children but parenting. I’m now at an age where I speak my mind. I’m so much stronger in my own thoughts of right and wrong now. How did I not know this when I was younger.

I now ensure all these conversations are had with my daughter to empower her and give her this knowledge. It’s stuff I’ve discovered, probably felt and known, but mumsnet has put it into context and pulled it together in my head. Not sure if this makes any sense. Hope it does.

OP I do agree with you. I do think there are good men out there but they are in the few and far between.

I think this is an insane question. I’d most men hated women then they would have killed us off long ago. Is there any other grouping of billions of people that could say “I think group a hates group b”?

What percentage of women killed by male family members or partners would you think was a problem?

Is the current level of two to three per week acceptable to you?

Since when is an open poll on AIBU a women’s space? Or do you mean that because this thread is about men hating women, that only women should be allowed to comment? No, it doesn't work like that.

People like you are so tiring, it must be exhausting being filled with such hate and bitterness towards men.

Some men are arseholes and hate women. Some women are arseholes and hate men. That's humans for ya.

''@rustlerwaiter

I am a man and I do not hate women, as such I would say in the specific cases you mention YANBU, but in general YABU.''

This is one of the issues: we don't need a man to tell us what women feel or what their experiences are with men.

You need to learn to let women speak and listen to what they have to say.

As long as we allow toxic masculinity to be glossed over society won't admit there is a real problem with the behaviour of too many men and that this needs to be addressed.

Conviction rates for rapes and sexual assaults are pitiful. Women are still the majority of victim of domestic violence. If you look at stats the most common suspect for female homicide victims aged 16 years and over was their partner or ex-partner. At least a 100 women were killed by men in 2023...

So yes there is a problem.

If you go down the wormhole of atrocities by men against women, usually sexual violence, throughout history it is staggeringly depressing. Look at the UN in Bosnia fgs - that was men who were meant to be protecting people using women like sex toys. They are so attracted to us they can't help themselves, yet simultaneously view us with contempt and think they're better. It's a lose lose for us.

Pointing out men pushing into women's spaces is not expressing hate and bitterness.

It's pointing out an instance of men's unwillingness to listen to women's voices and stand back to give them space.

IME, women hate women more than men can ever do

I think even the least intelligent misogynist would conclude that 'killing us off' would be neither wise or advantageous on either a societal or evolutionary level.

I understand that @HellonHeels however that poster is entitled to write their opinion on here, just like we are. I also don't think that his post was inflammatory, just an opinion.