To think men just hate women?

[Justsomethoughts]

The more I think about it, the more I conclude that men must despise us. I think the news today about Wayne Couzens has got me pondering… My thoughts as follows:

Ive read so many threads on here about how little men contribute to household work.
Women are expected to do 99% of housework and childcare whilst sucking it up and looking pretty. This percentage doesn’t seem to change much if they also work. God forbid women complain (I refuse to use the word nag, a word only used by men when talking about women!) as they asked for a family and should be grateful they have a husband and children.

We should look visually appealing/maintain our appearance for as long as possible but not too much - that would be ‘asking for it’. If we don’t we will probably be replaced by a younger/more attractive model.

We can’t walk alone at night as we are at risk of harm (by men).

A very large proportion of female homicides are committed by males living with the victim

The list goes on and on. I know these aren’t brand new facts and obviously ‘not all men’ before people come for me but my god it’s so depressing when you think about it.

I don't know, really. Yeah, judging from many posts on MN it seems to hold a grain of truth. But the majority here a women, and we mostly hear the bad stories.

I've been raised differently. My mum doesn't cook at all, so my dad did all the cooking. And the majority of childcare, as my mum often worked late.

I have a DS age 2 now, but also some chronic health issues causing fatigue. My DH works more than I do (we both work 5 days, but I do slightly reduced hours) and earns more than I do, but still does 60-70% of housework due to my health issues. No complaining, no entitlement, no blaming me, no abuse, he just does it as he wants our family life to work without breaking my health in the process.

you'd think so, wouldn't you? But far too many turn everything round to find a way to blame women for the behaviours of men.

and if we are looking at men's behaviours and attitudes we should not just be looking at how they treat the individual women they personally love and think that if they treat those women well then they are One Of The Good Ones.

We need to look at how they treat women they don't love. Women who aren't their relatives. Women they don't have sex with. Women they don't find attractive. We need to see how they behave when in groups of men - the so called locker room talk. We need to look at whether they speak up if a male friend of theirs harasses a woman. If they speak up in group chats when other men pass round obscene pictures or make disturbing comments. Whether they are doing such things themselves. Who they are when the women they love can't see them. What they say when the women they love can't hear them.

It's just far too simplistic to say my man is good to me therefore my man respects all women.

My ex treated any woman he wasn’t having a relationship with better than the partner so I’m not even convinced that’s a good measure.

@willWillSmithsmith but is that because he wanted to have sex with them?

HAHAHA, just read a few threads on MN and ask yourself if women just hate men. You'll get your answer within minutes. 🙄

God no! You would get treated a lot better if he wasn’t interested in you in that way.

Don't know what threads you've been reading but I've been on here over a decade and I see women supporting other women to recognise and not tolerate unacceptable behaviour from men.

Not sure why you think women asserting boundaries about how they should be treated counts as 'hating men'. Oh hang on, I lie, I know exactly why you think this...

Women providing mutual support makes it harder for men to dominate and exploit us, that's a huge threat to male power and, understandably they don't like it 🤷🏼‍♀️

My genuinely lovely DH the other day said, it must be hard for young guys these days because how would you chat up a girl now? People look down on men even talking to a woman they find attractive in the street.

And I was like yeah but women feel less like walking prey…

And he was like but ‘not all men’ are doing it in a disrespectful predatory way…

So I explained that society’s mindset needed to change to a place where men don’t just feel entitled to invade women’s space. That between the ages of about 13 and 28 I hated going anywhere alone because I knew men would make weird noises, try and talk to me which I often found intimidating etc.

DH fully got it, but his first thought was ‘poor men’.

My point was that the OP thinks men hate women, and I'm sure some men do. But, it's very clear from a lot of threads on MN that a lot of women hate men, too.

Sorry your ex was a twat.
However, I believe what I said is part of a good measure.
There are men who act like saints outside the home and devils inside it.
That doesn't mean that looking at all sides of them doesn't give the fullest picture.

Also, my post was about those women who use the argument that their partner/brother/dad/etc cant have a negative attitude towards women because they treat them well.

There are also those men who are massively abusive to their partners but work hard to make the outside world see them as saints. Nasty bastards. It means often the victim of their abuse gets oh no, not X, he's so nice...

Hate what type of men?
If you can find a thread where a poster describes a genuinely really great guy with no arguable red flags and posters say he's clearly a bastard, leave him...
I'll paypal you a thousand quid.

@willWillSmithsmith ahh okay. You are well rid!

Ugh.

Women hate/dislike men as a sex because many are abusive, pervy, objectifying, narcs, stalkers, violent, rapists, murderers
Men hate/dislike women because they stand up for themselves, won't give them sex, get old....

and they hate or resent or have contempt for us or are offended by our feelings because we are fearful of them and/or have a negative opinion of them as a class because of the examples you give.

damned women. not me not me I don't do these things, it's not ALL men!!!

no. but it's mostly done by men. not every man but any man. and how do you tell who?

also getting offended because of things you claim you don't do is weird and designed imo to divert attention and make women feel like we have to soothe the male ego as a priority even when trying to discuss things that really negatively impact on us.

Another example of the apparently requirement to centre men and prioritise men's feelings.

I've put it like this before but imagine you're at a swimming pool and you're on a lounger and the life guard yells STOP RUNNING ROUND THE POOL!

How ridiculous would it be to storm up to the lifeguard and say hey, that's not ok. I was just lying on my sun lounger. How dare you imply everyone is running round the pool? What about those of us who weren't? How can you just yell like that? And why are you yelling anyway? That's aggressive. You're aggressive. I don't like it. If you have to say anything, you should go up to them quietly or you should shout HEY, YOU IN THE GREEN SHORTS AND YOU IN THE BLUE SHORTS AND YOU IN THE YELLOW BIKINI AND YOU IN THE RED SWIMSUIT AND YOU IN THE BLACK SHORTS AND YOU IN THE RED SWIMSUIT, STOP RUNNING ROUND THE POOL, DON'T WORRY ALL THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE NOT RUNNING ROUND THE POOL, I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU, NOBODY THINKS YOU ARE RUNNING ROUND THE POOL, I AM JUST TALKING ABOUT THE PEOPLE RUNNING ROUND THE POOL, NAHMALT (not all holiday makers are like that)

Let's look at what we're really talking about:

• men who murder women and girls (for whatever reason)

-men who rape women and girls

-men who abuse women and girls

-men who sexually harass and abuse women and girls ( from cat calling, to touching,to upskirting etc)

-men who stalk women and girls

-men who threaten violence, rape etc. when women and girls don't give them the desired response.

-men who make revenge porn (sometimes using AI or photoshop)

• men who pressure women and girls into sex , either by nagging, sulking, everyone does it etc.

-men who watch porn , especially violent porn and promote it

-men who actively work to erode women's safe spaces and boundaries

-men who promote unsafe sex practices /kink as mainstream and not a big deal

-men who make or condone misogynistic jokes, rape jokes ,violence(sexual or otherwise) jokes, underage/barely legal jokes

• men who see anything "feminine" as a negative and less than

This is not even a comprehensive list, but they are all examples of male violence and entitlement . All you NAMALT posters do you still honestly believe that men that do those things are a very small minority? Once you look at it all as a whole?

Yes but @PaperDoIIs surely you see that women are mean about men on MN, so it balances out.

Yeah, I'm going to say that if women hate men, men have done plenty to create that situation. Women hating men, if we do has no effect on men. Nut if men behave the way they do out of something other than hatred, I dream to imagine what they'd do if they did hate us.

nooo.
It's Worse!!
It hurts the poor fee-fees you see which is just so much worse than anything men do to women.

This reminds me of that Margaret Atwood quote:
“Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them”

Yes, they are in a minority. Men who are casually mildly sexist maybe a majority, (I'm not even sure about thatPbut if you are seriously telling me that the majority of men are potential rapists, pervs and upskirters you are delusional.

If they were such a minority I would feel absolutely fine about running after dark or in Epping Forest or walking in unlit places after dark. But I don't. Because the minority is large enough to effect all of our daily lives.

Some women post here with very optimistic views of men because of their immediate relationships with husbands and sons.

But equally, I bet these women do not suggest to their daughters that men are the same as women in terms of risk. Nor do fathers of girls. So I wonder how these optimistic views on the internet filter down to your own girls? I think it is a lot more conservative in reality