To think men just hate women?

[Justsomethoughts]

The more I think about it, the more I conclude that men must despise us. I think the news today about Wayne Couzens has got me pondering… My thoughts as follows:

Ive read so many threads on here about how little men contribute to household work.
Women are expected to do 99% of housework and childcare whilst sucking it up and looking pretty. This percentage doesn’t seem to change much if they also work. God forbid women complain (I refuse to use the word nag, a word only used by men when talking about women!) as they asked for a family and should be grateful they have a husband and children.

We should look visually appealing/maintain our appearance for as long as possible but not too much - that would be ‘asking for it’. If we don’t we will probably be replaced by a younger/more attractive model.

We can’t walk alone at night as we are at risk of harm (by men).

A very large proportion of female homicides are committed by males living with the victim

The list goes on and on. I know these aren’t brand new facts and obviously ‘not all men’ before people come for me but my god it’s so depressing when you think about it.

I think just based on aggression alone and losing their temper men just seem to be wired totally differently from women. Raising their voice to bring a point home at a very minimum.

Of course there are exceptions but only a few. Most men definitely are like this.

I don't even think it is learned behaviour. Something innate sadly.

I really, really don't think that's the case. Even if it was, it would be learned, not innate. But it isn't the case anyway. Where are all these aggressive awful violent men? I genuinely haven't met more than a handful in my entire life, yet people on this site seem to have their entire lives swarming with them.

@LovelyTheresa

I'm not saying that I've never had anyone be inappropriate ever

So then you know at least one man that has done something inappropriate at best. Like I said lucky you.

I'm not even going to pick on the "maybe you know shit men" which smacks of victim blaming. For your reference, the majority of those shitty men were when I was a child/under 18, so not exactly by choice. Maybe I just got "your" share too.

Male violence is the issue. How do you stop that though? Males have been violent since the beginning of time and it's the same with most species.

It won't shelter you entirely but it probably will alter the landscape in terms of the types of interactions you're dealing with from men. On my council estate, we don't walk alone at night because it is demonstrably unsafe to do so. Misogyny is present at all ends of the financial spectrum but when you combine various axes (poverty being a significant confounding variable), the danger increases. There's a footpath by my house where a woman was stabbed because they wanted to steal her dog, for example.

A couple of months later we had a man with a machete jumping through gardens to escape the police after he'd attacked a number of people in the pub across from me.

Lots of complicated reasons for why there's more of this sort of stuff on my estate than on yours, but yes, your affluence will shield you from the worst of it. It's very easy to minimise an off the cuff sexist remark if it's the full extent of your experience. When you understand how that flippant remark feeds into a culture of VAWG that you're seeing fairly regularly, however, it'll change your perspective on how much you're willing to tolerate.

Maybe you did, I don't know. In which case, I apologise! I would still frame it as you being unlucky rather than me being lucky: I'm sure someone who knows more about statistics than I do will weigh in. All I know is that I am someone who has a lot of female friends, none of whom have been raped, been victims of child abuse, etc. For people to say that most men are potential rapists, murderers and abusers just seems to me to be absurd hyperbole.

Now that I completely understand and agree with, but that comment that you just made is far far more reasoned and sensible than the OP's 'all men hate all women'. The complete lack of interstectional thinking in such a statement made me grind my teeth and roll my eyes.

An older gent was passing by me & my pram, yesterday, from behind. And he said, as he was approaching my shoulder “Just to let you know, I’m passing you by now. Didn’t want to frighten you”. Which was a nice thing to do. As I was nervous (even when there’s no need). And he knew. Plenty of men are aware of how women feel about this.

I find a lot of men have nothing but contempt for women they are not invested in. In other words, they do ok by their partner, family members and occasionally female friends, but women in general they are at best indifferent and at worst hostile to. It's rare and very pleasant to meet a guy who is just nice to women because everyone deserves that courtesy. I think I've met about three in my entire life.

Oh, for goodness sake ... "Men hate women" is NOT the same as "All men hate all women".

This complete lack of logical thinking grinds my gears!

To ensure absence of bias (which seems important on this thread), a PP said something like most men are violent criminals. That's an error of the same type: most violent crimes are committed by men, but most men aren't violent criminals.

Are you trying to assert that a large proportion of men in the UK murder women ?

Why on MN now (I have been on here for 17 years) do we need empirical evidence to back up every post you make. I expressed an opinion at the beginning of this thread and you mocked it. I find the commentators on life that are on podcasts, YouTube, that happen to be Male, that comment on women with contempt quite disturbing. You were very patronising and belittling. I presume you are a man, I think it odd to do this on MN thread that is explicitly about women, my DH in all honesty would never go near MN and most certainly wouldn't comment on this type of thread!

'Men hate women' does mean 'all men hate all women', though. When you say 'x does y' then you mean that the vast majority of x behaves in manner y. I hold with my belief that the OP is foolish and inflammatory, and unlikely to produce sensible discussion.

No, that the figures of 2.5 per week are from the UK.

@LovelyTheresa you do understand the concept of talking about men as a class right?

I was interested in my son’s observation - “Mum, you have nooooo idea what it feels like as a bloke to be angry and flooded with testosterone.” 😡

Indeed, as a woman, I don’t. But taking responsibility to understand and manage anger appropriately is possible - as many men do.

I understand it but I don't agree with it. I don't agree with the concept of a sex class.

Ah, that makes sense.

You make a lot of assumptions. Please quote my “belittling” post because I haven’t a clue what you are referring to.

If you were born a man you would be exactly the same as us men so how can you complain without being a hypocrite?

This!!

So you're a woman? Have you read the guide on how to come across like a man then?

I'm not going to quote it, you patronisingly explained there are billions of YouTube videos added the sarcasm, find it yourself, that's what I say to my DH!

I'm doing an exemplary job of raising my DS, he would concur at 17, he is beautiful but we are not talking about individuals.

I’m pretty confident that wasn’t me. 99.9% sure. Since you’re the one throwing accusations around I think it would be polite to back them up.

Actually here you go, this had nothing to do with me.