To think men just hate women?

[Justsomethoughts]

The more I think about it, the more I conclude that men must despise us. I think the news today about Wayne Couzens has got me pondering… My thoughts as follows:

Ive read so many threads on here about how little men contribute to household work.
Women are expected to do 99% of housework and childcare whilst sucking it up and looking pretty. This percentage doesn’t seem to change much if they also work. God forbid women complain (I refuse to use the word nag, a word only used by men when talking about women!) as they asked for a family and should be grateful they have a husband and children.

We should look visually appealing/maintain our appearance for as long as possible but not too much - that would be ‘asking for it’. If we don’t we will probably be replaced by a younger/more attractive model.

We can’t walk alone at night as we are at risk of harm (by men).

A very large proportion of female homicides are committed by males living with the victim

The list goes on and on. I know these aren’t brand new facts and obviously ‘not all men’ before people come for me but my god it’s so depressing when you think about it.

I don't notice, thank god, a lot of male commentators commenting on women. I DO notice, however, the dominance of male commentators generally. In the comment pages of the newspapers I read, on the tv, on the radio, at the professional events I attend. It exhausts me.

And when the women ARE on there, there's a subtle but important difference in the way they're treated or engaged with.

In The Times, which I read almost daily, I am at the point where a lot of the white male commentators I don't even bother reading. They pontificate and think they're so bloody clever while actually not ever getting to the point. When really, I just want a clear, articulate argument for or against something. Which the women are far more likely to manage - even the ones I don't like.

Meet the judges. Overwhelmingly women.

Hurrah for some common sense!

A lot of men aren't exactly best buddies with all other men either. More men get randomly attacked (by men) in the street than women do. (Though perhaps because women avoid going out more?)

Basically a significant proportion of men are twats, sometimes violent twats, towards anyone they think they can get away with it with. And that includes with most women.

Social expectations about women's appearance are often held up at least as much by women as by men. But that's not on the same level as being a violent twat.

Certainly at the moment as we are talking about the big, male issues such as Defence and War, do women even understand this stuff 🙄

That's because women are more likely to be attacked by their partners, which goes unreported.
Women may be patriarchal themselves, bitchy, mean, bigoted....But bringing up the stats about male violence is not " cool girl". It is fact.

Certainly at the moment as we are talking about the big, male issues such as Defence and War, do women even understand this stuff

And politics. It's election year after all so we need all the men with the big brains who can use big words to talk about politics....

For all of you bringing up your lovely DH/ DS/ DBs, Wayne Couzens was also soeone's husband, brother and son. They all thought he was a diamond. As were all the Met officers who joined in with him.

Ask yourself, if you are lost on a dark road in a dodgy part of your city, and you see a man and a woman coming towards you, which one are you going to ask for help? The man, because your Nigel is lovely?

This boggles me. If there are so many good guys out there why don't I ever see posts created by men wanting to discuss the atrocities happening to women? Or at work its all football and banter not news topics like Wayne cozens. I see no reflecting no we must pull up other men. Or asking women or even interest of why is it happening. I genuinely don't see that they care. Unless its to protect their image of being 'a good guy' only when it's tested. I've never known a man to bring up a 'woman issue' to discuss and reflect on ever all I see is they go quiet or nod along "oh its not right" if it's brought up. I'm not saying they don't exist at all but they must be such a tiny minority for so many of us to never of encountered them.

where are the namalt discussing Extreme things like that abortions are illegal in some USA states. That's gilead shit but men don't seem bothered?

Absolutely! One of my DC is studying Politics so watches (on YouTube) and listens to lots of podcasts and I don't think any of them have women presenters, guests of course but not presenters.

I really admire the Americast reporter, Marianna Spring, reporting on disinformation and conspiracies must inevitably involve coming up against a great amount of hatred of women!

I agree. I think men don't realise this themselves and think they 'love' women BUT if we dare to go against societal expectations of what a woman should be like, how we should act, how we should look, they do hate/resent/dislike us.

I had a very good longstanding male friend who I'd talk to about anything and everything, lovely deep conversations. Eventually it came out he was just hoping for sex / a relationship and had spent years being extra nice to me and listening to me solely for this, not because he wanted a friendship at all. To him our deep conversations were a way of getting in my pants.

Another male friend's true colours came out when discussing a highly publicised rape/abuse case. His opinion came out- women antagonise men, no one feels sorry for men, feminism is ridiculous, women have life on easy mode blah blah. To say I was shocked was an understatement, He got instantly blocked.

Watching the Jury on C4 is an eye opener.

PolisNonsense · Yesterday 22:36

The NAMALT's will be along soon enough”

So you actually believe that there are no good men?

I completely agree with this! I think as I've got older I've become more and more aware of it, but what can we do? Call out the behaviour when we see it ( if it's safe to do so, of course!) But what are our politicians doing about it? They need to lead from the top. I worry that misogyny is so ingrained in our society that we'll never be rid of it.

Why are you saying this? Course there are. Lots.

.That doesn't mean men as a CLASS are not far more violent than women. Not as individuals. Why is this so hard?

My post began with the words, “I think”, signifying that I am speaking for myself, not representing anyone else's views, thanks.

Sometimes, when I'm reading the word soup that are The Times articles, I do find myself wondering whether if we did a test and put these articles out there without th picture of the white male alongside a reference to his work with a think tank or whatever, and then gave these articles to people to read... whether they'd be like, "what the actual fuck is this?"

It irritates me particularly as I spend lot of my work time editing written work - if I could get my hands on some of those writers....! .

It's particularly interesting (as a side bar) as I have a theory that women commentators probably don't write any better than the men, they're just better edited. This theory is as a result of following a few female commentators on Twitter and regularly clicking through to read their self published content on Unheard or Medium or Substack or whatever. What's fascinating is how often, in this raw form, it's as bad as the male shit that is published in The Times.

So ironically, women are being edited more because no one dares to touch the Big Male Commentator's copy, which actually makes the women's work better, but they're still only ever the second or third commentator, and only one or two out of five!

If you have ever worked in a developing country which is inadequately policed- I have- you will realise that the problem of male violence is severely underrepresented. Most of the women I worked with did not report rape, assault or DV because they knew they would not be believed, or they would be shamed.. The men reportred violence by other men though.
I dont think it is that much different in the UK, especially in certain communities.

Therefore men here chiming into say how much they love women is irrelevant given the stats.

When I met my future wife all those years ago she (somewhat comically) announced that "Welsh women don't do housework". Not sure about the percentages, never thought about it tbh, but I probably do 75% of the housework, and I'm better at the laundry as well.

I don't hate women, but after reading some of the comments here I might be forgiven for thinking there are plenty of women who hate men.

That’s true, but PP asked if a large proportion of women were murdering men at a rate 3 per week, implying that that’s what men did. Hence my question.

I wouldn't say I hate men. But as a result of the way in which men have successfully set up the world to benefit them, and are fighting tooth and nail to keep it that way, I do find I am generally less inclined to like men, or be interested in their opinions. Unfortunately, I do not have the power to just make them irrelevant.

Obviously, I have many men (and boys) in my life who I love and who I genuinely believe have overcome these stereotypes, or certainly try. But too often I have conversations with men where somehow, I land up having to try and "educate" them, while they look at me like I'm some silly, hysterical woman, and I just don't want to do that anymore. It's easier just to keep my life largely female, outside of those men who are already in it.

As Margaret Atwood said " Women laugh at men ( Or talk about them on an online forum). Men kill women".

Yeah, if there's a problem with Muslim people, it's Muslim men. Just like with every other group you might choose to identify.

I don’t think this has to continue but it will be a long road. Women are responsible for raising their sons. If a young boy is raised in a household where mum does all the housework, cooks the meals etc and still does his washing when he is a late teen. Is subservient to dad or the son, It becomes learned and expected behaviour. My son is fairly equal minded, but followed Andrew Tate for a while, we talk about it a lot because it is an important topic for me. He has just left his job as a chef because of misogyny and appalling sexual behaviour by his colleagues at work. He called them out on it, it didn’t go down well. DH is in a young forward thinking company as a senior manager. Hears misogynistic talk constantly but never pulls people up on it, says it would be too damaging to his career.

I read earlier while looking at some stuff about the man who murdered Sarah Everard. "Not all men, but it is always men". Sums it up for me.

^ It’s not just men as a sex class with their entitlement that is a problem (though that is a problem), it is that men in positions of power to reproduce a particular narrative, a dynamic, formal and informal rules and regulations that are the problem.

The tech bro’s and tech titans allowing misogynistic hate filled diatribes spew forth over social media enabling the likes of Andrew Tate, sites like 4chan, subreddit’s, and much much worse. All of the tech titans one way or another have been tainted with some misogynistic bs they’ve said or done. And AI is only going to make it worse.

It’s male CEO’s structuring 24/7 work expectations that actively undermines working mothers.

It’s the male script writers who think ‘comedy’ involves a joke about choking or drama that involves endless rape filled tv drama one after bloody another or ‘serious drama’ involving the utter subjectification and degradation of women (from Breaking the Waves to Poor Things) as broken sexualised objects to the tsunami of pornography finding its way into every corner of life. God. I seriously hate most Hollywood script writers.

It’s the wealthy male politicians who didn’t have to juggle work, crappy child care, and being a single parent going on to provide funding or enact laws that protect and support women.

The list goes on. And feels like it’s getting worse. The reason is always money and power. The result is a casual onslaught of hate filled misogyny that will and does perpetuate boys and men’s contempt for girls and women. Say something often enough and it will be believed.

And for Christ’s sake NAMALT, and a huge thank you to the mothers and father’s raising decent boys and men, but there are too many in positions of power. That’s the problem.