AIBU - violin teacher dumped us on the first lesson

[DesperateSusans]

We are new to the area. My daughter (age 7) desperately wants to learn the violin. We asked at her new school and they gave us the information about the local violin teacher who teaches in the local schools and privately.

we contacted the teacher and arranged the lesson. Everything went really well, DD loved it and the teacher was great with us.

I have since received a text message from the teacher which I am confused about.

something along the lines of - great to meet you earlier, on reflection I think a different teacher may be more suited to working with DD. I immediately asked her what she meant. She then went on to say that she felt uncomfortable about the amount of questions I asked with regards to her qualifications, experience and teaching methods and made her feel uncomfortable! Apparently all of this is on her website (I hadn’t looked) and she felt like I was interviewing her!

surely this can’t be right? Isn’t it normal for parents to ask questions when they engage the services of a private tutor?

If it’s all on her website then she probably thought you would be hard work.

Clearly she doesn’t struggle to get students or she’d put up with it anyway. Think you might have list yourself a good teacher there.

I used to tutor in my school subject but haven't ever needed to drop a student because of a parent. I've got close with people being cheeky with picking up late etc but to be honest I can't say I blame the woman. Why on earth would you interrogate her (it sounds like that's what she felt it was like) when all the information had been previously available?

You can obviously try and apologise but don't be surprised if she's decided she doesn't need the hassle.

My fingers are crossed that she'll relent.

@Ulysees

I’m surprised you aren’t embarrassed to come out with such an ignorant comment 🙄

Why not follow your kid everywhere? You don't need to sit in on lessons tho .Outside the room will do and its a woman.Stats show women still.less likely to offend Any dodgy music teacher would have been cast out of a school these days.All music rooms in schools have windows.Having said that, when I was learning a long time ago in an old old medieval building with nooks and crannies some of my male teachers were a bit touchy feely/ brushy uppy etc.I was 12 by then and said nowt.

Good luck OP! My guess is she wasn’t really bothered by you asking questions about her qualifications and experience but she has (possibly correctly) pegged you as a pushy stage parent, who will be a pain in the arse on many levels. I personally think needing a lot of information about a violin teacher for a 7 year old beginner is excessive. It’s not like she is at a national music academy. One of my children was identified as talented in a sport at a young age and started private coaching early. I didn’t once bother to ask the coach about their experience and qualifications. My kid was 6, had good rapport, and had fun. That was all I needed to know. Despite the talent, she didn’t need an Olympic level coach at 6!-

Not really. If you had a builder around you'd want to know their qualifications, experience, availability etc.... wouldn't you?

Well done to the OP for seeking the best for her child.

Yeah, I'm sure she's created a group chat on What's App to let "everyone" know about the parent that dared to ask about a DBS check and some exams. @DesperateSusans if that's true, you're well rid!

Our dog joins in with practice of a Mozart piece especially . I can’t tell if he’s distressed or moved to participation. But the combined effect of a small child on violin and a dog is … well, worse than you joining in I feel certain.

Blimey, it was just a joke 🙄I bet you're one of "those" mums as well, aren't you?

its a transaction, the relationship is transactional, and I assume not cheap - of course you should be quizzing them and making sure they re good, it's a job not a favour.

Op has sadly realised too late that she actually had found the best - and pissed her off...
If you find that worthy of congratulations, it's a bit strange.

Lol - had found the best. And pissed her off.

I would love to know who this violin maestro is. All over for the OPs daughter, and all because of not looking at a website... 😭

Why didn't you spend time looking at the website beforehand?

This is ott, you don't 'quiz' a music teacher ffs. Do you quiz your DC teachers, Brownie leaders, dentists etc?

Yes of course I do, I want what's best for my children?

😂

What does it matter who she is? Op can't find anybody else, that's the only relevant point really 🤷🏻‍♀️
I'm not sure what point you're trying to make?

🤣🤣🤣

@AlphariusOmegron

you would actually go into the dentists and ask them about their qualifications??

You're replying to many posts with laughing emojis which you know are passive aggressive. Articulate why the person you're replying to is wrong with logic..... or grow up and stop acting like a child. My guess is you have no adult response?

Haha! On the first parents' evening she'd ask to see the teacher's degree and QTS along with references and safety certs?

Thank you!
Just what this thread needed- a bit of light relief!

Things like dentists, doctors etc are regulated professions meaning it is illegal to purport to be one if you are not qualified. Many other professions are not so there is no harm asking someone what their qualifications/experience are. Most professionals are only too willing to appraise you of these.
Typical example, if you have a builder around you will ask for their prior experience and references... at least most of us would. Some here seem to suggest you should just assume they are suitable.

Don’t you? What’s wrong with you all? No wonder people get away with shit so often.

everyone lies. Most people are shot, peedos are everywhere.

check. Then double check.