When did 50/50 become so common?

[Luckylooloostar]

I have a SC and when contact was set up over 13 years ago it was really common to do EOW with maybe a night in the week. No mention of 50/50 ever. Really common among others too around that time.

but Iv noticed a trend over the last few years that seems to be when you split its now 50/50…

Do more men now want this so they don’t have to pay CMS?

I think this is a big ask of children too. So much wasted time and organisational effort. No wonder many older kids vote with their feet. I'd hate to move every week.

If they do they are fucking stupid, 50/50 costs way more than cms payments! Of the families I know who are 50/50, they split childcare costs, uniforms, activities etc. That all adds up quite a bit and would absolutley be more than cms would allocate.

I am not a fan of this trend when the OP gives her opinion to many responses - OP it's not a conundrum!

It only costs more if you actually pay for this stuff. But many have 50/50 on paper but then don't.

I know i dont get the logic, have the kids more to pay less forgetting that it costs to have the kids, do people actually genuinley think they save money or is just some throw away line with no thought or logic to it?

In some cases, I presume they just don't want to pay "her" money.

No men should take responsibility for being terrible ffs I'm not responsible for my ex becoming a cunt he did that all by himself he cut down his contact all by himself no-one forced him too personally I actively fought it until he began weaponising his children over it then I rolled over and quit fighting

Not my fault

It's not like they actually pay it the two people I know who have 50/50 both have a default parent who pays for everything the kids go with a suitcase and usually end up at granny's/girlfriends house because "daddy works" so essentially mum still pays for everything including food for one as she has an intolerance she just can't see her kids 50% of the time

It cost way more if you decide to contribute to those cost. If you have childcare sorted for free on your days then you don’t have to pay towards childcare, pay for activities on your days again or what you put them in.
Uniform and a few bits of clothing hardly comes to CMS amounts.

Of course they wouldn’t. Must of made it up🙄

It's hardly good for the child ,shunted between two houses ,no where feeling like home .
It will leave a generation with mental health issues
But hay as long as the parents are happy.
Children need a secure base to come home to ,the world is a scary place as it is ,without going to school from one home ,and going back to another .
I find it bizarre that courts allow this ,to me it's clearly bad for the children
I do speak from experience actually,before anyone comes at me.
I was left a confused lonely child by the situation

Flexible working, working from home means parents in certain jobs can have a better balance at sharing responsibilities compared to years ago. Whilst working full time mu dh still did the night wake ups 3 times a week when ours were little.

My dh works full time but has compressed his hours so we don't need childcare. If we ever split he'd absolutely want 50:50 and I'd probably have to up my hours to afford to rent or pay a mortgage anyway. He's very much an equal parent and does love his children as much as I do. Just because your dh is ok with the EOW set up doesn't mean every man would.

I went to the solicitors with my friend at the start of his divorce (about 10 years ago) and the solicitor said he would never be awarded 50/50 as he worked full time and she didn’t. Which is bonkers!!!

The solictor asked what he would do on his days when he worked and had the children and he said he would pay for wrap around care from school (e.g breakfast club, after school club, holiday clubs etc) and the solicitor said the judge wouldn’t be happy with that.

I was VERY 🤔at that as, my and my partner both worked full time and that’s exactly what we did!!

When it was realised that BOTH parents can't love their children equally, look after them as well as each other and both want to see them perhaps?

It costs more to do 50.50

A lot of men used to manage EOW by sleeping on a sofa, having kids at granny's house etc, so could save a lot by just renting or buying a much smaller property. Nowadays most men who do 50.50 need to buy/rent a property with room for the kids. When they were paying cms they often couldn't afford this!

Most of the men i know are far more imvolved as parents than my fathers generation were. They host playdates, share childcare and school pickups, wfh with sick children. I genuinely do not think avoiding paying cms is a main factor. The courts prefer clean breaks anyway.

*can love their children equally

Springcat its becoming more common to retain the family home where children live full time, and have the parents alternate moving out to a small flat. This can work well.

I don't know any men who do or wanted 50/50 to avoid cms. You do realise that when it's 50/50 both parents pay for and provide for the children on their time with them? They don't suddenly become free during that time.

My ex tells people that we have 50/50 because he couldn't bear to only see his kids EOW.

I still remember the moment when we were first discussing how to arrange contact and he said 'I will get 50/50 because I don't want to have to pay you a penny'. I wasn't suggesting EOW because I felt it was important for DC to see their dad more than that but having been the default parent I felt 50/50 was too big a leap.

We now parent '50/50' but all child admin falls to me and often they have to take clothes/equipment from our house to his because he won't be a second to make life easier. So although he has them under his roof for 50% of the time I don't think he parents 50/50.

The DC say they are happy they don't only see dad a little bit and I think that's very important. I do wonder what age they'll want to carry it on until but that's a bridge to cross when we get to it.

In reality,will many parents be selfless enough to do this .
Most definitely best for the children
But a lot of parents divorced on bad terms ,and I can't see many agreeing to this

In a lot of parts of the uk, housing kids is the biggest cost (for very young kids childcare as well). This is why cms is based on nights - if you have 5050 both parents need to provide a property to house those kids. School uniforms, clubs, other bits and bobs are a drop in the ocean compared to annual rents & utility bills for a family.

Well obviously they would still be paying out for their kids, just directly rather than to the mother 🙄

I don’t why anyone would do 50/50 to avoid CMS as the amount is pitiful and the whole service is a shambles. It is essentially a pay as you feel service, one of my friends has never received a payment in spite of repeatedly telling them where her ex works.
. It’s the only thing in my view that America gets right, they set an amount that reflects the cost of raising children then lock them up if they don’t pay it.

Passive aggression is still aggression. I came on here to state what I believe- and I said “call me old fashioned & sexist but…” meaning- you can think that all you like doesn’t mean it’s true and btw I’m certainly am not calling myself that.

Your thinking doesn't make sense if men are doing 50/50, to.avoid paying CMS ,so are women