When did 50/50 become so common?

[Luckylooloostar]

I have a SC and when contact was set up over 13 years ago it was really common to do EOW with maybe a night in the week. No mention of 50/50 ever. Really common among others too around that time.

but Iv noticed a trend over the last few years that seems to be when you split its now 50/50…

Do more men now want this so they don’t have to pay CMS?

Sorry I missed them, there are so many posts on this thread (I did try and read them all!!). That's awful and I hope your DP is taking her to court!!

So my lovely dh pays £500 per month for my dsd, even though she lives with us 50% of the time, my ds dad refuses to pay anything although he lives with us 100% of the time and he claims the child benefit, we have dd between us, but can’t claim anything as dh earns just over the threshold, surely we’re stuck between a rock and a hard place!

Oh it's ongoing @MotherofChaosandDestruction!

What is EOW?

Every Other Weekend. I don't like the abbreviations too.

I don't understand how money is still paid if you are 50/50. Is it because one earns more?

Because both parents love their kids? We have my DSD 50/50 - she loves it and has a great life both with us and her DM and stepdad. All get on great. 50/50, in my opinion, avoids the Disney parent syndrome where one parent is the default doing homework and hair washing and school runs and the other is going to McDonald’s EO Saturday. It ensures neither can opt out as responsibility is shared.

I work with children and in my experience the majority of kids with 50/50 or close to it tend to do better than ones with an absent or partially absent parent. It prevents anger around abandonment etc as the child feels loved equally by both parents. This might just be the demographics of my work and my family but it’s what I see.

I will say, however, that we live 5 mins from my DSDs Mum and Stepdad, we swap days/weeks to accommodate family hols and events as needed, we do big events like birthdays all together and we facilitate the clubs she attends on the other parents day as necessary. It’s not always easy but we are one family, her family, and we do our best to give her the best childhood possible. I understand that where this isn’t possible due to abuse, for example, then 50/50 might not work.

@4610J It's not.

maybe it is the lesser of 2 evils though.maybe you would feel worse if you didnt know your df

Are you in a 50/50 custody situation?
We have 50/50 custody, not ordered by a court as it was never in question or needed to be dragged out. Not a high earner by any means and pay maintenance despite all aspects of care including doctors, dentists being split equally.
My facts are actually facts but cute assumption there from you.
If you need clarification the CMS
calculator on the gov website can probably
help you out.

In our case, it is.
The receiving parent is the recipient of child benefit, so whether that makes a difference or not, I don’t know.
It is a complete 50/50 split with both parents having 7/14 nights

I know a guy that had a 50/50 split with his ex wife. She kept the home. Despite her earning more than him, she got all the child benefit and he still had to pay her maintenance money. He ended up basically destitute. It was very sad to see and I'm not sure how it was in his child's best interests.

@ThisOldThang it just doesn't make sense.

@JeSuisUnePommeDeTerre I did years of 50/50 split. CMS advised nothing payable as both parents equal share of care. I received CB for one son, ex received for the other (even though he'd have to pay it back). Ex earnings in excess of £100k pa, mine around £18000.
In cases of true 50/50 CMS won't get involved as nothing due by either party.
What do you mean by 7/14 nights?

I’m glad that was the situation for you, unfortunately it isn’t for us, even the CMS calculator when set to 50/50 split gives an amount to be paid. DP has queried this, they have confirmation from both sides that care is split 50/50. You can’t get truer 50/50 than having your child half of the time, and assuming half of the day to day care and yet, this is our reality. £150 a month ontop of every day costs 🤷🏼‍♀️

@JeSuisUnePommeDeTerre Still not sure what you mean by 7/14 nights?
Why would CMS be asking your husband to pay his ex but not her pay you if it's 50/50? Doesn't make sense.

Scarily similar situation, she has the house, 50/50 care and maintenance on top. It is scarily unfair.

So one parent has Sunday to Wednesday one week, the other has Wednesday to Sunday, then the following week it’s Wednesday to Saturday/Saturday to Wednesday. Both parents have three nights one week and four nights the next.

@JeSuisUnePommeDeTerre With respect, I don't believe that's the case. If the house was jointly owned she'd have had to buy your ex out? He wouldn't have just left the house and got nothing.

You don’t need to believe me, I’m not sure why a father who would leave their ex the house their DC live in is such an alien idea? Also unsure why anyone would lie about paying maintenance for a 50/50 custody situation. As you can see on this thread there are people who do pay maintenance.

@JeSuisUnePommeDeTerre He freely gave up his house for his ex and the kids to live in and asked for nothing out of it?
And CMS...why would he be expected to pay but not his ex?

From gov.uk:

Q: What happens if the day-to-day care of a child is equal between a paying parent and a receiving parent?A: In this situation, the paying parent does not have to pay any child maintenance for that child.

As stated in my initial post, the DC mum receives child benefit so as far as CMS are concerned she is the receiving parent.

On a personal level, she is also single and runs the house on one income whereas DP is not, so everything is taken into consideration with regards to ensuring the DC have the best quality of life we can afford them.

Leaving this thread now, I don’t need to justify my life to anybody whose hatred of men is so deep rooted they cannot accept facts.

Yes, we do this too and dc see both parents daily. Maybe that’s why it works for them.

@JeSuisUnePommeDeTerre You're leaving the thread because what you are saying just doesn't add up.
I strongly suspect by your last comment your DH doesn't HAVE to pay anything; he chooses to. And that's OK - fair play to him for being decent.
I'll let my husband know I hate men!