Is this grandma ish?

[dontgetscarednow]

Just that really. Looking at this duvet.. but js it a bit "old"?

Much classier.

I am a grandma and I am managing to cope with the OPs wording.

Why do people get upset over every little thing ?

The fact that you don't find it offensive doesn't mean everybody else should fall into line with you, or is wrong to be irritated by it. And in all honesty, I find the responses to this more depressing than what the OP initially said.

Same here.
This thread is ageist bollocks.

You know, you can be a granny in your 30's?

And yet we all knew what she meant when she said 'grandma ish'.

I'm a granny and wouldn't be seen dead with that on my bed. Please stop with this ageism, hopefully you'll be old one day.

👍👍

We should all complain to dictionary.com!!! How shocking! What an ageist, sexist website! I needs taking down!

The OED also defines the N word OP, it doesn't mean I'm going to start using it any time soon.

I think we need to stop policing other people's language. Grannyish isn't offensive in the same way that racist terms are - we all know that different generations had different fashions and tastes, which we are not obliged to like. It's clear that the OP is referring to what was fashionable/tasteful when the old women of today were younger.
That 40/50 year olds can be grannies is utterly irrelevant. As a pp said, we all know what OP meant and to pretend otherwise is disingenuous.

It's no more misogynistic than not wanting fashion/decor associated with teenage girls either, imo.

I think we need to stop policing other people's language. Grannyish isn't offensive in the same way that racist terms are

You don't get to decide what other people find offensive.

Ageist and ableist posts are every bit as offensive as racist posts.

Calling people out for ageism isn't policing their language.

I think we need to stop policing other people's language.

I think we need to stop policing what people do or don't find offensive. You can use those words, other people can discuss them with you. And yes, I knew what the OP meant - that's precisely the point. I knew she was using the term negatively. She wasn't using it as in 'is this grandma chic?' she was using it to mean 'yuck, old'. I mean she can keep doing that, because MN isn't particularly great at taking such posts down, but other people can keep saying they don't like it.

And then the OP can think 'oh okay, maybe I should find out more about this. Maybe I can read up about internalised misogyny, maybe I can use different words in future'. Or she can think 'fuck it, I don't care if I offend people and I'm not bothered about finding stuff out'. That's her call.

Very old fashioned and dated in my opinion

You can find it offensive - the OP didn't tell you that you can't. But equally you have no right to tell her what terms are and are not acceptable to use. You do you, as they say.

I haven't told her she can't use it @LadyBird1973 I've told her it's ageist and sexist. Now personally, when someone points out to me that they don't like a term and why that is, I tend to take it on board. I might then still disagree with them, but I will listen and actually, I have stopped using certain terms because other people find them offensive and I don't see the point in offending people unnecessarily. The OP is free to use whatever terms she likes, within MN's T&Cs. Other people are free, and absolutely have the right, to point out whether or not they agree with those terms.

@LadyBird1973 that's exactly what I meant, although I realise I shouldn't have used that term and won't again.

But in my head it was no different than if I had posted a Groovy Chick or Take that bedspread and put "do you think this is too young/teenage for me"

OP you can use that term if you want to, or not, as you see fit.
Personally I don't view 'grannyish' as derogatory to older women - to me it's just synonymous with 'old fashioned'. And we are allowed not to like the things that we associate with our own grannies' era. My own nan, if she was still here, would probably hate my house.

To me it seems overly harsh to berate a person when they only wanted an opinion on a duvet! When it comes to fighting misogyny, there are bigger fish to fry.

@LadyBird1973 I completely agree. I guess you've just got to be careful what you say these days 🤷🏼‍♀️

This has pretty much negated your apology.
"Sorry I got caught"

Yes, you DO have to be careful because these things are important. Important how we view and how we treat other people, even if their experience is different to ours.

You've apologised several times, I think posters need to accept that you are sorry for any offence caused.

Nothing like a bit of acting outraged to pass the days

Well I am a grandma and it's not to my taste.
But all grandmas are different we don't suddenly all have the same taste and think the same when our children have children!

I cannot, for the life of me, figure out why the phrase grandma-ish is offensive and ageist.

Would it still be ageist if I asked, 'is this like something your granny had?' or describing curtains or knickers as granny curtains/knickers?

Can someone please explain? I know what internalised misogyny and ageism is but I cannot see how that fits in with a question about bedding possibly looking like something your granny would have liked.

No. It should be pointed out wherever it appears.

I cannot, for the life of me, figure out why the phrase grandma-ish is offensive and ageist

Because the sub-text is that there is something laughable about that duvet cover.
The OP was mocking it.