Is this grandma ish?

[dontgetscarednow]

Just that really. Looking at this duvet.. but js it a bit "old"?

@Brefugee I'm pretty sure my mum nor I are ageist, sexist, racist, homophobic or any other "ist" of "phobic"

I used an outdated phrase that I shouldn't have used on a public forum and for that I have apologised. I shall research internal misogyny when I have a moment, thank you for educating me.

This.

Own your tastes. Don't pigeon hole them.

I'm a Grandma and I dislike it intensely. None of my Grandma friends would give it house room so IMO it's not Grandma ish.

Edited to add that I know what you meant and I don't take offence at all.

yes i realised that you had apologised for the turn of phrase, and i have absolutely no issue with you or your mum. (am very interested if you did get the duvet cover and what the rest of the room decor is, though)

This is, however, a conversation thread and it seems that it is, sigh, necessary to keep having this conversation. Often because posters don't realise (because it's such a throwaway expression) that it does annoy, offend and piss-off other posters.

We simply wouldn't use racist or sexist language after other people pointed out what we were doing, and expect other people to put up with it. It is often older women who are expected to shut up and when they point out how mean that is, get pushback. We ought, as a society in general and a women's space in particular, think about why that might be.

You still haven't answered at what age this mythical "grandma" taste kicks in?
Is it about the same time women are just expected to become invisible because we're old?
Wonder how you'll feel op as you approach that age

@Hobnobswantshernameback There's no need to be like that, I didn't mean to offend and have apologised profusely, I have been educated and will never use the term again.

I didn't see the question, I assume late 90s.
I doubt I will be lucky enough to make that age as all my die young. Most of my family have died aged 50-70 with a couple in their 20s and 30s of natural causes. So if I make it to that age, I will be absolutely counting my blessings.

It’s not really to do with tastes, though- it’s to do with fashions that come round in cycles. It what dates us. When something comes back into fashion that was out of fashion when we were younger (thinking the white socks that all the teen boys are wearing here or socks with sandals that were on the runways a while back) we avoid them and stick with what was in fashion when we were at an impressionable age for fashion, which is now out of date…

Florals definitely were in my grandma's generation and an avoid them like the plague. They’re definitely back now and I probably date myself by avoiding them…

Anyway, unless your house is on Rightmove, your taste is your own - buy what makes you happy.

People are so chippy on here - OP probably meant that it reminded her of her grandma. It reminds me of mine. It's just a style that we tend to associate with the older women of the past.
Yes, OP could have said 'old fashioned' instead but it's not that big a deal!

I think it is dated in a bad way.

It could be either old fashioned or classic depending on the style of the room....

Is old fashioned deemed acceptable? I was going to send my daughter to world book day dressed as a granny (gangsta granny) but maybe I should think twice 🤣

I’m a granny. That’s awful.

It's not my taste, and you'd have to have quite a specific style of room for it to look in keeping. But if you love it, buy it and enjoy it - who cares what anyone else thinks of your duvet? Do you know what your friends' and family's duvets look like? At the most someone might glance at it on the way to the loo.

(I think Dunelm do much, much nicer duvet covers than this one...)

i like it.

At almost 70, I think its old fashioned, but 20 year old me would have loved it during my Victorian type decor phase!

This. 100%.

Leaving aside the question of language, I like it but then I’m 60 although not a Grandma or Mother! However that makes me the generation that loved the original Laura Ashley look and later Cath Kidston although my own home now confines florals to a few accents such as cushion covers.
I think the duvet cover set looks fine styled as in the photo with everything else plain pastels. Too much additional pattern would be OTT.

I'm a grandma and i'm not offended.

My grandma would have been 110 if she was still alive. I get what grandma ish means. Out of fashion and not in a cool way.

So by inference Grandmas are out of fashion and not in a cool way?

You see how this works? It’s lazy stereotyping putting certain people into certain groups just because they fit one criteria.

About the question though OP - i think the chintz/kath kiddson/shabby chic/retro look is fine when it's done well, but it does run a fine line right up against simply old fashioned and out of date looking.

IMO that cover is stepping over the line a bit in a way i can't quite explain. Not a lot. Just a bit.

I'm a granny and wouldn't be seen dead with that on my bed 🤣
But my younger friend would have the bedding with matching curtains ,wallpaper and a vase of matching flowers 🤷‍♀️🤣

Just have faith in your own choices!

Who's going to care?

I really can't get too fussed about the grandma thing.

If you're saying there is a stereotype - but that you're not it - then why worry?

Feels both busy and boring at the same time... the floral prints aren't dramatic enough to be dramatic, and aren't subtle enough to be subtle... haha.

There's nothing wrong with fashion changing and coming full circle. I wore minis in the 60s and midi dresses in the 70s. I wore Laura Ashley florals in the 70s too. It is ageist to apply the term 'granny' to a particular look as a criticism. Grannies come at all ages! When you join a certain demographic, you become very aware of how women of that demographic are treated and it's a bit galling to have younger women dismiss the point. One day, you too will be treated dismissively. The OP could have avoided it by asking if the look was old fashioned instead. She's apologised for any upset so let's support each other and recognise that it was a misstep.