If your parents offered to pay for school fees…

[Grosshesselohe]

How do/did your adult siblings feel about this?

I’m talking about a situation where the parents are very comfortable financially and their adult children are employed in good professional jobs - but might struggle to pay school fees without some help.

In this situation, the sibling does not have school age children & does not want to be given the equivalent amount of £ to make things even.

They simply disagree with the parents helping at all and are now insinuating that they are being manipulated in some way.

AIBU to think the sibling should mind their own business?

wow,,your brother is an extreme example.

No, I’m not certainly not lazy - I got a weekend job when I was 16 and have worked almost constantly ever since. My DPs didn’t help with childcare, although they would have been happy to if we lived locally to them.

If anything, my sibling had it easier in that regard because their partner did 90% of the childcare/parenting since DN was born, while my sibling has always travelled a lot for work, gone on solo adventure holidays, skiing with university friends etc.

The situation is not unfair because both siblings have always been offered exactly the same help

I disagree. You could choose to make it fair by suggesting to your parents that they even things up in their wills. They could leave a nice extra lump sum to your nephew. Your children are massively benefitting from your parents money so why shouldn't your DN. Your parents would likely listen to you if you suggested this. However, it would mean there would be less money in the estate for you.

It's too easy and convenient for you to latch on to the fact your sibling turned down the money.

This comment is crazy unless I'm not understanding the OP. The offer to cover the fees has been offered to both siblings. Both siblings decline until one sibling falls into hardship and accepts the offer.
Why the hell should they feel bad for this? If the parents offer fees than that's what they're offering. There shouldn't be an equaliser just because the other sibling didn't want fees to be paid. How ridiculous.
It's like being offered a present, refusing it and expecting the equivalent in cash. It's rude and unreasonable.

I could not, in all conscience, pay for 3 grand children and not the other. I would have given the other one money towards his/her university fees to make it as fair as possible.
My father died and left all his money to a) new wife (who quickly remarried in less than 2 months) and b) my brother ... who is a complete waste of space and who had various financial advantages over his siblings. Haven't spoken to brother since as he manipulated the situation. Not done him any good, hasn't got a pot to piss in now.