To leave 14 year old for 4 days with 18 year old sibling?

[boyohboys]

18 year old has A levels so not wanting to go anywhere which is, but 14 year old also keen to stay at home too - AIBU to leave a 14 & 18 year plus be responsible 2 dogs & a cat for 4 days?

I suspect my judgement is somewhat clouded by the practicalities of youngest being there as he will happily take care of the dogs & other pets whereas oldest wouldn't want the dogs there so I'd have to find weekend boarding which is tricky. We have lovely immediate neighbours and a good network of local friends they could call or I could ask to pop in, but of course can arrange for youngest to stay with a pal and I'm sure find somewhere for the dogs if need be.
We'd be leaving very early but Thursday/Friday morning as opposed to 7:30 work department so they'd get themselves to school & dog sitter would come in the day. After school they'd be getting themselves home and whereas we'd usually get in around 6ish, they'd be fending for themselves. Both self-sufficient and pretty sensible & no issues with the odd late home from work or out socialising but have never done overnight. Weekend they'd be at revising, gaming or out doing usual stuff like going to the gym, meeting mates in the park but of course home alone the entire time. We get back very late Sunday night.

The more I write the less certain I am but still interested to hear what other thinks.

This all sounds perfectly reasonable to me - they have support nearby and should be quite capable at 14 and 18 to stay home alone . At 14 kids can legally babysit another younger child and at 12 can be left alone. I left my 14 year old daughter and 16 year old son with two dogs , 10 chickens and 3 horses to look after whilst we went away for a week - my friend checked in on them and they knew what to do in an emergency- kids are far too mollycoddled now in my opinion .

Why not? What’s so wrong with family members occasionally being asked to step up?

Expectations on kids in some families are shockingly low.

i left mine in January for 3 nights while I went to Europe. They are 13.15.17 & 19 ( just ) They were fine. We were also dog sitting & they took care of themselves & the dog. ( owners were totally happy with this ) Everyone was fine & happy with the arrangement. No dramas & we all enjoyed the break. My eldest is waiting to join the fire brigade so if he can be trusted to fight fires & save lives he should be okay to manage for a weekend with out us. I had MIL & best friend on standby for emergencies. The only thing that went wrong was my elderly Dad fell as I was boarding the plane so my eldest went round & sorted him out.

I'd leave them. When me and my brother were 13 and 15 we were left over the weekend and the ceiling fell in! No mobiles then, we phoned my grandma, but she lived an hour away! Didn't kill us just ruined my brother's room. I'd left home, got my own flat and worked full time by the age of 17, and I don't think kids nowadays are any less safe than we were. In fact they're probably more savvy as they can Google stuff.

Seems OK to me if your children are OK with it. I would probably have wanted to do one night away to test the waters first of all. The 18 year old is an adult and if the 14 year old is sensible they shouldn't really need much "looking after" so seems like a fair enough plan. I am pretty sure I visited my sibling at University on my own when they were 18 and I was 14 and stayed with them for 3 nights, we both survived.

I left my sons at a similar age. It was absolutely fine. There were no pets in the picture. I left a fridge full of easy to prepare food. They had my number and a responsible adult local contact. The only thing was that there were some daily jobs that I didn't think to mention like bringing in the post and milk , and taking out the rubbish, which I thought were so obvious that of course they would do them. But they had never been responsible for them before and it didn't occur to them. So I would recommend leaving a list of daily stuff to be done so that the house runs properly, then go and enjoy your break.

Given dog sitter appearance and neighbours, I think it is OK.

@SantaBarbaraMonica because he has an A level exam that day?!

I'm all for 18 yesr old being responsible but ditching them when they have A elcels and leaving them responsible for a sibling on the day of their own A level exam isn't something I'd do.

I am amazed at the number of people who think this us unreasonable.

This is normal for many people. Honestly he is 18!!

My concern is not the animals, or the sibling, it would be him having an exam on Friday and Monday, and being there to suppor tif it went badly, but that can also be by phone. I would not plan to be away during exam time.

But on a practical level you do know that 18 year olds can be nannies and babysit and TAs in school etc? that they are adults and considered to be able to function in the world?

The only issue to me is if the boys were likely to fall out and cause problems between them, or if I was worried about a party.

At 14 kids can legally babysit another younger child and at 12 can be left alone.

in England and Wales there is no legal limit for leaving a child alone or for babysitting.
The law has a sentence which says something about suitable age depending on child

I have a real problem with 'oldest wouldn't want the dogs'. Who is this 18 yr old adult to decide whether or not he is to look after the family pets? I like to believe that any 18 yr old is fit to look after a 14 yr old but if your eldest is used to having this much power, I would be a bit worried.

I think it’s really unfair on the 28 year old during their a levels