Affair and left penniless

[Newchapterbeckons]

Please advise. My sister is with me now, her partner of 20 years has just left her and the children for another woman.

They live in a house jointly owned, but my sister has no other assets or savings, she hasn’t worked for nearly two decades as she supported him and raised their dc. Four children aged 13-19.

He has moved out, and has put the house on the market, she is shell shocked and inconsolable. What happens now? He has threatened to cut her off and stop paying for food, petrol and bills. Can he do that?

We had no idea he controlled all of the money in this way. She is devastated. What can I do to support her?

She has no money for legal advice, but has had the free hour.

For 15 years we have asked her to get married for this very reason, and he refused. Can anyone advise what she can do.

z

You don't need to be married to be in a coercive and controlling relationship.

He has manipulated the situation to his advantage, taking the money from the sale of her flat, taken the joint money, the child benefit and God knows what he has taken out of the house, there my be nothing left.

This is financial abuse and is a domestic abuse matter.

I would report to the police and at least get some advice from them.

She could get a job in retail! They’re calling out for tons of people

@Newchapterbeckons She will need to find employment ASAP. How old are the children?

She is not going to be penniless:

• she will get 50% of the sale of the house
• he will have to pay child support
• she needs to apply for any benefits she is entitled to in the meantime.

Can someone just reduce the set amount being paid off a mortgage without both mortgage holder’s signatures ? There must be some capital in the house unless they bought it last year at least the value will have increased. I ´d get a paper trail of the money her flat was sold for and try and use that when negotiating how much she gets out of the house. Best wishes to your sister and you op.

I am sure common law spouses have some rights particularly when kids are involved

there is no such thing as a common law spouse. It simply does not exist, it’s an urban myth,

There is no guarantee she will get a fullstate pension. Thirty five years contributions are needed. AFAIK. Some years can be credited for looking after children. I think this has been cut.

My mum used to say if you don’t have anything supportive to say don’t say anything.
Maybe that would be a useful lesson to the poster of this very unhelpful judgemental comment

Bit soft soapy supportive comments just don’t hammer the message home sometimes. They didn’t in this case.

Now youngest DC is 13, maybe she can work between school runs.

I specifically said basic state pension.

It is when the youngest is 13!!!

Or maybe her blunt comment will resonate with someone else in a similar situation 🤷‍♀️

it’s certainly more helpful than all the posts absolving the OPs sister of any responsibility or agency.

State pension. If she had the family allowance in her name she would have had her stamp paid. But he's had the family allowance all these years so she won't get a full pension.

If she hasn’t worked for twenty years and hasn’t been claiming CB, it’s unlikely she’ll get a full state pension.

Apologies OP, I have not read the whole thread but from what I have read it sounds like she was being financially abused and controlled. This is a crime and she should go to the police if that is the case. My relative was emotionally and financially abused by her ex-husband and got the police involved. And unfortunately for her, marriage offered no protection - in fact it made it all worse as he claimed in court she had to financially support him!!!

She will get basic state pension, which is 221 a week, and if she’s in rented will get housing benefit. So she will live frugally but she won’t need to work till she dies.

@Janehasamane She won't. You need 35 years of NI contributions. She will have some paid for (contributions) as a full time carer for her children.

She can look into it, but as she's only 49, the state pension may not even exist in its current form when she's 70.

*She will get basic state pension, which is 221 a week, and if she’s in rented will get housing benefit. So she will live frugally but she won’t need to work till she dies.

and she’s 49. She’s another 17 years to work. And to save.*

Full rate for State pension is currently £203.85 a week. She hasn't worked and it doesn't sounds like she'll have credits.

I understood from pp that she wouldn’t be entitled to a full pension. What will she be entitled to? The child benefit was paid to him. Dc are all over 12 now (just) I am unclear.

Exactly. I’ve reported it - not in the spirit of the site. And then some.

She can check her state pension at

www.gov.uk/check-state-pension

She needs a government gateway ID

She last worked exactly 20 years ago in May if thar helps? When she had dd1. So no credits since then. She was freelance back then.

Which isn’t £221 a week.