When my ex left I sat on the floor for a couple of days, shocked to my core.
I didn't realise I'd been financially abused as well as emotionally and completely isolated over 20 odd years so at the point when he left I no longer knew anyone at all, including my own family as he'd persuaded me to cut contact with them years before.
My doctor explained to me that such a sudden and destructive breakup of a long term relationship (was a marriage in my case) is like a traumatic death of a spouse and that you need time to grieve, not only for the loss of the person, but for the loss of what you believed (that being part of the traumatic bit).
My ex had cleared out my accounts, sold my most valuable possessions and remortgaged the house to the max before leaving and run up bills, so I had an endless stream of debt collectors turning up looking for money which came as shock after shock.
This was back before financial abuse was recognised as a crime.
At first, I really did think I'd never get over it as my whole world was unrecognisable.
Every plan I'd had the for the future suddenly meant nothing because they'd included him.
It took me months to slowly realise how abused I'd been and how it had snuck up on me over years as my life had slowly shrunk until it was basically just him and what he wanted.
Over time though, I started to realise little things, like being able to choose what I wanted to eat, or when to turn lights on/off, when I could sleep or where I could go, were things normal, non abused people got to do and that he wasn't the wonderful man I'd thought.
Within a year I realised I'd never been so happy since before I'd met him.
Sometimes I'd come to a new realisation about something he had destroyed for me and get briefly down about it, but then I'd remember he was gone and I could live a life that made me happy and I'd end up better than before.
He's been gone for over a decade now, I barely even think of him except at odd times like reading this post and it doesn't hurt me at all.
She will get over this and eventually realise that the great life she thought she had wasn't actually so great.
It might help her stop texting if she understands that right now, she probably sounds unhinged and that all her texts are doing is giving him proof that she is unbalanced.
I know it's devastating, but she needs to have a bath/shower, put on her favourite perfume, make sure the bedding has been washed so it doesn't smell of him and put her chin up.
She deserves better than him.
She is better than him.
She needs to know that.