To get fed up when people put downer comments on lighthearted posts?

[Queenconsult]

Fully expecting those Debbie downers to get funny about this.

It happens so often on here, someone posts a semi light hearted post usually about things your husband has done that have annoyed you, straw that broke the camels back, things that gave you the ick or the family ones - what made you realize your childhood was a bit weird etc.

Most people get it’s a bit of fun then you always get the Debbie downers that put ‘I got the ick when he raped me after I came out of the shower’ or ‘I knew my childhood was not normal when I realised no one else slept naked with their grandparents’

key example is earlier on the DD made to hug her grandad post, of course on the first page there is someone telling their life story of the uncle who molested them, no one asked, no one cares, it’s also not relevant.

It’s just so unnecessary and a bit attention seeking tbh. It’s just annoying seeing some funny posts be hijacked by the depressing ones as people can’t read a room.

or you share something light-hearted that happened to you in the air of the thread, and someone comes and tells you off because it offends them.

Fuck off.

Yes! Or those who post ‘it that’s the only thing you’ve got to be upset about count yourself lucky’ on a lighthearted thread

I agree with you OP.

But I also don't like the Debbie Downer phrase.

The first reply validates you OP !

oh god yes. i mean, fuck me, i could trauma dump for britain with some of the shit i've been through, but time and place, you know?

I come on here to have a chat, kill some time, occasionally offer a bit of advice on stuff i have experience with..etc.

I've been around since i had my oldest in 2006, and honestly, just recently, the dog piling and derailing of fun threads is just getting ridiculous, genuinely the worst i've ever seen it.

The irony of the first comment 😂😂

I was going to say Yanbu but after reading your post in full I’ve changed my mind.

It’s one thing to think ‘yeah, maybe this isn’t the right thread for that poster’s horrific trauma’ but for you to say ‘here is someone telling their life story of the uncle who molested them, no one asked, no one cares, makes you sound like the coldest bitch.

@Queenconsult Kirsty killjoy ffs. 😂

You’re brave Op 😹😹😹.

Kirsty Killjoy 🤣🤣🤣 FFS op. Mumsnet AIBu is about to go apeshit on you. Tin hat on.

YANBU People are strange.

Might be cold but it’s true

Its a bit weird to post about your childhood trauma on someone’s post when it’s not asked for

I'll tell you what I don't like. I don't like women accepting being treated appallingly by men. "I had to clean shit off the loo again today! Third time this week-what are they like!" "Oh, I can so relate! They just can't help it, can they? Never mind, he's agreed to babysit for an hour on Saturday so I can go to the gym. I'm so lucky"
#DebbyDownerAndProud

Not everyone is as tidy and perfect as you @claudiawinklemansfringetrimmer

Humans are messy. This is not news and it's not going to change just because you don't want to read about other people's traumas.

No one is denying that. They’re just asking why people have to dump their mess on lighthearted threads that people are using as an escape from everyday life.

Sometimes it smacks of - I’m miserable, so why the fuck should you be laughing and happy

We can still be annoyed about the mess though.

Humans who can’t read the room have been around since day one most likely, doesn’t make it any less annoying though

Why do you think its appropriate though?

Say if someone started a thread, ahhh look what my little cherub did, aren't they cute etc and 2 posts later someone is recounting how they were raped, the resulitng baby practically died in the womb and they had to give birth then watch the child die so OP should hug their child tighter.

That thread is not the place for that, why should the thread be brought down like that? Its not those peoples right to do that. There are boards for that on here. Its selfish and attention seekking and yeah, no one in that scenario does really care. They were trying to have a nice cute conversation.

Agree with PP; people have gone from not talking about mental health and trauma to talking about it ALL THE TIME.

I have to wonder if that’s even any better than keeping it all down. Surely a happy medium.

Maybe everyttime we see this shit we should post a stock phrase, like I'm sorry for your trauma but please take it elsewhere, this is not the thread for this.

If they don't get pandered to and fawned over, they might stop doing it.

Those doing it for attention I think that would definitely put an end to it.

Those who are just socially inept maybe not

It might teach them where and when is appropriate though 😂

Its funny how the people that do this are mostly the ones that scream for trigger warnings left, right and centre but they then do this trauma dumping where its unexpected, unwanted, and with no warning.

I love a good lighthearted thread as much as anybody and I agree that not reading the room and trauma-dumping and misery-elevenerifing are often unhelpful on such a thread; but equally, I don't think you can state on a public forum that only what you consider to be in the acceptable bounds of lightheartedness is tacitly allowed.

None of us know how our level of privilege/education/mental and emotional intelligence/other circumstances might massively differ from those of other people who are really struggling. One person's deep trauma may be similar to another person's everyday life; and somebody's lighthearted experience might well equate to somebody else's scarring trauma. Look at the post on the current 'bad things you did as a child' thread, where an ostensibly funny story about a child pranking her DM into thinking she'd won a lot of money soon turned to huge upset.

I think we all agree that smugly pulling people up on their grammar or spelling mistakes makes you quite the arse; so is it really that different when we're berating people for being 'too lighthearted' or 'not lighthearted enough'? Also, we've had quite a few threads in the past where people have indeed 'complied' and related their 'lighthearted, hilarious' experiences - kidnapping a barky dog and driving to dump it 50 miles away from its home springs straight to mind.

I also thought it was extremely callous to declare that "no one cares" about a poster who has suffered sexual abuse. Fine to express that it's possibly not the appropriate place to discuss it, but "no one cares" is just nasty.