To get fed up when people put downer comments on lighthearted posts?

[Queenconsult]

Fully expecting those Debbie downers to get funny about this.

It happens so often on here, someone posts a semi light hearted post usually about things your husband has done that have annoyed you, straw that broke the camels back, things that gave you the ick or the family ones - what made you realize your childhood was a bit weird etc.

Most people get it’s a bit of fun then you always get the Debbie downers that put ‘I got the ick when he raped me after I came out of the shower’ or ‘I knew my childhood was not normal when I realised no one else slept naked with their grandparents’

key example is earlier on the DD made to hug her grandad post, of course on the first page there is someone telling their life story of the uncle who molested them, no one asked, no one cares, it’s also not relevant.

It’s just so unnecessary and a bit attention seeking tbh. It’s just annoying seeing some funny posts be hijacked by the depressing ones as people can’t read a room.

We didn't used to have to put "light hearted". Posters tried to put it as a sign of a light hearted thread to try and politely tell the doom suckers to go elsewhere.

I think mnhq needs to get better at protecting light hearted threads.
Humour is a life saving free balm and as a supposedly supportive site sometimes we need humour and lighthearted threads and laughter

Once a thread shout xl bullies and defending yourself agaisnt the turned into one of the funniest threads I've ever read UNTIL.. The doom mongers came on... It's ridiculous...

Mn should count how many reports they get and warn them...

The absolute worst are when a poster has written about their situation in a funny way.. And then the "trying to be a novelist", fake, troll come out.

I'm guilty of sometimes reading the heading and OP, then the last few comments and then replying ... then realising sometimes it's completely off topic, wish there was a delete comment button!

I started a thread about pasta recipes this evening and ribbed someone for a recipe of chicken nuggets, mayo and frozen veg mixed with penne pasta. She got upset and replied saying she has mental health issues.

Whole thread was just a bit of fun. God bless her I'm sure she's struggling but 🤦🏼‍♀️

This is the internet @Queenconsult that’s just how it is.

Some of the people who do it must be reading this thread. Will any of them explain why they do it? Not from misunderstanding the thread or whatever, but those who come into a cheerful thread and post about something horrible.

I agree with you, there is a time and a place for trauma dumping and it's not on the chatty light hearted posts.

That said, it's the internet there will always be that person.

...there is someone telling their life story of the uncle who molested them, no one asked, no one cares...

No one cares?

There are so many people out to 'attack' tonight. Be Kind is in the past.

I agree, although I feel for the ones who open up about severe pasts. They're looking for that opportunity to open up.
It is a shame when a fun thread is lost to it though (... You are allowed to think both!).
The minor pendants and fun sponges get to me.

I actually do get where you’re coming OP. Characterising these posts as attention seeking is a bit mean but sometimes when a thread is trying to fill people’s cup, posters should be mindful that misery is catching. It isn’t nice to drag people down with you.

That being said, there are sometimes “lighthearted” posts which are just inappropriate. Personally, when that is the case, I think it’s fine to call that out because the likelihood is that the people posting have never really thought about how they could be hurting others.

yes.

I wonder if they even have the self awareness to know they’re doing it

I saw one last month a ‘worst pain you’ve ever felt’ post and it was clearly light hearted as the OP put stepping on Lego, next person put sitting on a plug etc. 8 comments later it’s ’burying my 3 week old daughter’ like come on.

Some people are just miserable and have to spread their misery on you

I 100% agree.

But then there are people who do the same in real life so are these the same people? Like everyone will be telling funny stories about their first holiday without parents and someone will tell a story about how on theirs their friend had some terrible accident.

Same subject and is obviously awful for them but real lack of reading the room.

Could someone explain to me why Debbie Downer is so contentious? It’s really not like being called a Karen (which I hate and never use) but Debbie Downer? Really?

What’s wrong with Debbie Downer?

And what’s the view on Nigel No-mates?

Yes! We have one at work. Everyone can be chatting together about something innocuous/mundane/lighthearted or shock horror - funny - and colleague chimes in with a doom story.

Riiiiight.. conversation is over, awkward silence and everyone turns round and gets back to work in silence. How can these people not notice?!

It’s Nigel-Friend-Challenged

Wow.

Some people are in genuine emotional pain.

I think it's pretty strange to be unable to deal with that to the extent you say openly you 'don't care' about victims of CSA.

If you post on an open forum, you get responses from all.

Why should people who have endured CSA care about your feelings given you don't care about theirs?

It's the same with lots of people. Aren't we all a little oblivious at times?

There are people who tell you TMI, people who say 'cheer up it'll never happen', people who boast, people who moan about small things...

Yes, people are annoying. It takes a certain arrogance to assume only other people are annoying!

There are many very supportive places on MN for this, why post it on lighthearted threads?

You're absolutely right. No idea why people do it. There's threads and boards for discussing awful things which have affected you. Mumsnet is not the place for therapy but can be very helpful for signposting to appropriate help. The place for discussing them is not light hearted jokey threads.

I can only imagine they have a complete lack of self awareness or that they enjoy the shock value of hijacking a thread with something so traumatic no right person will tell them to bugger off. It demands a response.

I always find that on 90% of threads nowadays, lighthearted or not, the first comment is always snide and completely at odds with how I thought the thread would go. Eventually, the thread goes the way I figured, but the first post is always awful and then the next few are in agreement until someone pipes up and says "I don't know why you're getting so much hate OP". Similar to this one...

It’s just a bit weird to throw it into any thread for attention.

surely you must understand that?