to think is gross / to be worried?

[listyle]

a friend of mine has been telling me for a while now she's suffering with smelling of body odour on her armpits even after showering.

She asked me do I ever smell after showering & I said no. She asked what am I doing different from her so i asked about her diet/what body wash is she using etc we got talking about shower routines and I explained I use a loofah and that I literally scrub my body from head to toe, and that I shower everyday & use deodorant afterwards as well as body lotion etc.

She was shocked , first of all that i shower everyday , she said she showers AT MOST 3 times a week and when she does shower she jumps in, rinses her body with water, whacks shower gel on her hands puts it on armpits and bum (nowhere else) , rinses that off and hops out (excepts for the days she washes her hair, she'll do that) and she'll only use a deodorant when she's bothered. I said to her "no wonder". I wanted to be as nice as possible. I explained that she needs to start washing her full body and washing armpits 2/3x and preferably with a loofah & ALWAYS use deodorant afterwards. She was like "but the issue is only my armpits I don't need to be putting body wash anywhere else I only wash my armpits and bum"

I was being so so nice to her but also trying to get the seriousness across and the importance of personal hygiene.

It's shocked me to be honest she's a close friend and she doesn't come across as dirty. I've never smelled anything bad off of her, she comes across as clean and presents herself well.

I feel a bit concerned is it mental health related? We're very good friends and I've never once thought she has bad mental health but I suppose it's not always visible.

She just seemed so shocked that I shower everyday. She couldn't wrap her head around that I use a loofah and I wash my arms/legs/belly button/back , literally everywhere. She literally only rinses with water, uses hands to wash armpits and bum and that's it. She said her showers are no longer than 3/4 minutes (unless washing hair which would make it 10 mins)

She also mentioned if she wants to shave she'll take a bath but won't put anything in the bath. Only put body wash on armpits and bum and when she rinses that off the suds will go into the bath.

She said she thought this was the norm and what most people did.

I don't know, I haven't stopped thinking about it all day. Am I crazy? If it was your friend would you be worried? I'm not sure if she took on what I said about what she should be doing. She seemed like it would be so much effort for her to do.

(I know she doesn't use mumsnet)

actually It is a very common symptom and the fact that her routine hasn’t changed and she has means it could very well be that if she is the right age
plenty of people don’t wash daily and don’t smell!

Exactly

there is nothing wrong with @listyle routine! I used to live in the Middle East and many would use loofahs there, it grows there!

people shower/bathe as often as they need to, generally.

i shower quickly every day before going to bed, wash my hair after swimming 2x a week, and use deodorant daily. My daily shower is 2 mins long. Post swim shower with hair wash is longer as need to get the chlorine off.

that’s what i need to do, if someone’s saying they’re smelly, their routine isn’t working.

obviously not talking about those with medical issues etc.

can't shower everyday if I did I would be sitting here in bandages as my skin would be cracked and bleeding. not showering every day its not gross nor vile. many threads have been on here saying showering every day is not required

A shower everyday at a minimum unless we are unwell. And even then usually a nice hot shower is restorative (for us).

But we grew up in tropical climates.

Some of these posts are explaining what I smell on the morning commute 🙄

Don’t be ridiculous, there’s nothing wrong with how she’s thinking, stop throwing insults about

I shower daily, I use a shower puff to wash all over with body wash, and I used body lotion and deodorant afterwards. I have no choice but to use a body lotion because I have very dry skin which feels extremely tight and uncomfortable if I don’t.

I shower every day and wash my hair every other day. I do not scrub every inch of my body top to bottom as that is unnecessary and pointless, your calves, forearms or stomach area are not "dirty" or smelly. I also use a bar soap in my hands, not a cloth or loofah or anything.

I would suggest to your friend she uses soap rather than shower gel. Shower gel is just a massive marketing con, soap does the job so much better, leaves you feeling cleaner and fresher and no single-use plastic.

There is nothing wrong with showering every other day either

If she doesn’t smell and is clean/presents neatly then there’s nothing wrong with what she’s doing tbh!
I shower daily but don’t spend more than a few mins in unless washing hair, i do bits and pits and a quick wash of arms, torso and the sudsy water runs down me legs! I use a good deodorant and towel off afterwards. Don’t use body lotion.
Too much loofah-ing on your part and excessive washing.

Yeah, nah. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t shower at least once a day. I shower 2x a day once before bed and again on waking to freshen up. This soap dodging is very much an English thing lol.

only wash my hair once a week. most certainly does not smell. have long thick hair down to my bra strap it's completed many a time and hairdresser yells me it's in top condition

@Wexone I have similar hair but I still wash it daily and it's in very good condition. I couldn't have stinky/greasy hair. I also get complimented on it. It's not bad to way it daily if you use the right products.

The thought that some people showering every other day would genuinely make your skin crawl is OTT (and the sort of thing a friend with OCD would say) but I hope it was just a figure of speech.

Please ask your friend to consider if she has had any health issues recently and go to the gp.

The point is for her she has noticed a change and your OP says she can smell body odour straight after showering and using shower gel on her armpits.

It could be nothing or menopause or something much more serious.

A good friend of mine started with this, followed by a series of symptoms like menopause but with extreme brain fog.

and has just been diagnosed with cancer.

Turns out change in body odour was one of the first symptoms.

Now the likelihood of this for your friend is very low but I’m only mentioning it because all this discussion about the appropriate amount of washing is a bit of a red herring.

You said yourself she has always struck you as clean snd presentable with no BO. Clearly from this thread there is a wide range of washing. She is confiding in you , her friend, about a change in her body which is concerning her.

She does use shower gel though. I'd say a bit more pit attention in the shower would sort her problem, no need for all the rest. Do you realise that the water itself does the largest part of the washing. I've run the washing machine with just water when I've ran out of detergent and unless something is very stained you wouldn't know the difference.
An exes sis never used soap or showel gel, all baths and showers were just with water as she has sensitive skin. She was very well groomed and never smelled.

Just going to leave this here - TLDR: daily showering isn’t necessary for hygiene.

https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/showering-daily-is-it-necessary-2019062617193#:~:text=How%20often%20should%20you%20shower,armpits%20and%20groin%20may%20suffice.

Also me. Mine was just one arm pit too. And started much earlier than expected. I was about 39 when the smell started

YABU as regards your 'shock'.

To touch on the BO - could she be breastfeeding or stressed/anxious? That can cause unshiftable BO.

I think the OP is a great friend for trying to help and not judging her ! Everyone's needs are different dependant on job, lifestyle, how much they sweat etc. so whether you bathe everyday or every other day it's fine as long as the results are that you are clean and don't smell. Sometimes I shower every day, sometimes every other dependant on what I have been up to that day and use a deodorant everyday. That works for me, might not for others. It is completely reasonable for the OP to recommend that she ups her showers considering she is saying she does smell AND she is asking for her advice! Hilarious to say that is toxic 🤣.

I have psoriasis and couldn't shower every day , I'd end up with patched that are dry , cracked , weeping and risk infection. Not to mention the pain and itching.
There are lots of reasons why people can't shower every day. Doesn't make them grubby

A loofah over your whole body every day? No thanks how is your skin not red raw?

I bathe every day, lather up on smelly areas, cleanse face but water is absolutely fine for the other areas.

YABU

I shower every day.
Soap is better than shower gel and if she smells she needs to shower daily with soap.
Use a hood antiperspirant.
Wear perfume if you choose.
Wrar clean clothes and wear natural fibres. Man made fibres trap sweat. Stale sweat smells.
Also wash your clothes for an hour on a hotter cycle, non of this washing at 20 degrees nonsense. That is a marketing ploy by the multi nationals who are destroying the planet. It’s designed to make the little people believe they are doing the planet a massive favour.

Doesn't need to be a mine
I would not be pleasant if i didn't shower after exercise!

If she’s not regularly applying deodorant her clothes probably stink, I’d say bare minimum is armpit wash and deodorant every morning, if I’m going to be near people I shower every day.

I once forgot to apply deodorant before going to work and by lunchtime I could smell myself, and I’m not a sweaty person, and the top I was wearing stank of BO even after a hot wash, I had to bin it.

@Toenailz

Another thing is the stealth boasts about people who only wash their hair once a week or whatever.

Personally don't think that there are stealth boasts on here just people being honest, but you could equally say the same about posters claiming to shower daily with a lot of faux disgust and rudeness.

Haven't yet seen a poster claiming to not wash daily.