Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think is gross / to be worried?

425 replies

listyle · 25/02/2024 23:30

a friend of mine has been telling me for a while now she's suffering with smelling of body odour on her armpits even after showering.

She asked me do I ever smell after showering & I said no. She asked what am I doing different from her so i asked about her diet/what body wash is she using etc we got talking about shower routines and I explained I use a loofah and that I literally scrub my body from head to toe, and that I shower everyday & use deodorant afterwards as well as body lotion etc.

She was shocked , first of all that i shower everyday , she said she showers AT MOST 3 times a week and when she does shower she jumps in, rinses her body with water, whacks shower gel on her hands puts it on armpits and bum (nowhere else) , rinses that off and hops out (excepts for the days she washes her hair, she'll do that) and she'll only use a deodorant when she's bothered. I said to her "no wonder". I wanted to be as nice as possible. I explained that she needs to start washing her full body and washing armpits 2/3x and preferably with a loofah & ALWAYS use deodorant afterwards. She was like "but the issue is only my armpits I don't need to be putting body wash anywhere else I only wash my armpits and bum"

I was being so so nice to her but also trying to get the seriousness across and the importance of personal hygiene.

It's shocked me to be honest she's a close friend and she doesn't come across as dirty. I've never smelled anything bad off of her, she comes across as clean and presents herself well.

I feel a bit concerned is it mental health related? We're very good friends and I've never once thought she has bad mental health but I suppose it's not always visible.

She just seemed so shocked that I shower everyday. She couldn't wrap her head around that I use a loofah and I wash my arms/legs/belly button/back , literally everywhere. She literally only rinses with water, uses hands to wash armpits and bum and that's it. She said her showers are no longer than 3/4 minutes (unless washing hair which would make it 10 mins)

She also mentioned if she wants to shave she'll take a bath but won't put anything in the bath. Only put body wash on armpits and bum and when she rinses that off the suds will go into the bath.

She said she thought this was the norm and what most people did.

I don't know, I haven't stopped thinking about it all day. Am I crazy? If it was your friend would you be worried? I'm not sure if she took on what I said about what she should be doing. She seemed like it would be so much effort for her to do.

(I know she doesn't use mumsnet)

OP posts:
BestBadger · 26/02/2024 09:17

I don't use deodorant, I use marine varnish. It prevents the build up of bacteria (which is what causes odour) and seals in moisture. It also lasts for years.

I do have to dust myself twice a day though.

Mamaraisedadoughut · 26/02/2024 09:17

After reading some of this thread, I'm shocked I don't smell more people in a terrible way.
OP your routine is normal.

19lottie82 · 26/02/2024 09:17

I use soap and one of those shower puff things to give myself a good scrub, especially under the armpits. A few years ago I did a manual job for a few months and just wiping down with soap and rinsing isn’t enough to get rid of sweat and old deodorant.

saying that I generally just shower every other day now, unless I’m socialising or feel dirty.

MaloneMeadow · 26/02/2024 09:17

MumMRM · 26/02/2024 09:09

You should shower/wash every day, how can she not wash places like her vagina, under her breasts, her belly button, her neck behind her ears and in between her toes?

Maybe because you’re not meant to wash and mess with the pH of your vagina on a daily basis? Has all common sense gone out the window this morning?

Newsenmum · 26/02/2024 09:17

Wow a lot of people don’t wash properly! 3 times a week MOST isn’t great for a young, active person. And of course you should wash all your body parts!

PawsisShady · 26/02/2024 09:18

@Calliopespa I'm talking body lotion/oil/cream being necessary regardless of scrubbing - for mixed race and black people it is necessary and lotion after every single shower is normal so skin doesn't get dry and ashy

Newsenmum · 26/02/2024 09:19

MaloneMeadow · 26/02/2024 09:17

Maybe because you’re not meant to wash and mess with the pH of your vagina on a daily basis? Has all common sense gone out the window this morning?

You are supposed to rinse it or use unpurfumed soap…

Newsenmum · 26/02/2024 09:20

Mamaraisedadoughut · 26/02/2024 09:17

After reading some of this thread, I'm shocked I don't smell more people in a terrible way.
OP your routine is normal.

I’ve noticed a lot of the general public smell lately so now I know why!

Lucklin · 26/02/2024 09:20

If my dh didn’t wash daily, I would not go near him. I feel sorry for some folks other halves on here 😂

biostudent · 26/02/2024 09:20

I personally believe other people's personal hygiene is none of my business (unless it's family or someone asks, as you were OP) but I don't think anyone on here should be saying your routine is OTT. You clearly take a lot of pride in your personal hygiene and that's wonderful. I can be quite lazy when it comes to mine but I still always wash with a loofah and deo after the shower - I thought that was me being lazy! On a normal day (5/6 days a week out of the 7) I'll have a full body shower, I wash my hair every other day because its so fine and ruined from years of swim training. But your routine sounds top tier and everything I aspire to have in my routine!!

Newsenmum · 26/02/2024 09:20

PawsisShady · 26/02/2024 08:45

@Toenailz but some hair you cannot wash daily or more than once a week. Afro hair for example because it's fragile and often very dry
I can do 2/3 times a week but not daily

That’s different and I agree with hair in general. Sweaty body parts should be washed!

Newsenmum · 26/02/2024 09:21

Lucklin · 26/02/2024 09:20

If my dh didn’t wash daily, I would not go near him. I feel sorry for some folks other halves on here 😂

Same!

PremiumRaa · 26/02/2024 09:24

I can't believe you loofah your armpits just reading that is painful to me.

Newsenmum · 26/02/2024 09:25

NO ONE KNOWS WHAT A LOOFAH IS! it’s just one of those puff things. It’s like a flannel but good for your skin. Really not that rough!

Redlarge · 26/02/2024 09:26

She does need to do more but its no where near unhygienic or mental health problems.
If she showers every day or at least 5 out of 7 and uses bar soap and a flannel all over body i would say thats much better. As long as you use soap you dont really need anything else.

Newsenmum · 26/02/2024 09:26

PremiumRaa · 26/02/2024 09:24

I can't believe you loofah your armpits just reading that is painful to me.

How is it painful? They’re soft!

Wishimaywishimight · 26/02/2024 09:26

I think it's really odd to discuss showering in this much detail with a friend!

Newsenmum · 26/02/2024 09:26

Redlarge · 26/02/2024 09:26

She does need to do more but its no where near unhygienic or mental health problems.
If she showers every day or at least 5 out of 7 and uses bar soap and a flannel all over body i would say thats much better. As long as you use soap you dont really need anything else.

Once or twice a week and only armpits and bum is not hygienic.

Notheninkynonk · 26/02/2024 09:27

Newsenmum · 26/02/2024 09:26

How is it painful? They’re soft!

A loofah is hard.

I feel like a lot of people here are confused about what a loofah actually is.

Calliopespa · 26/02/2024 09:29

Newsenmum · 26/02/2024 09:25

NO ONE KNOWS WHAT A LOOFAH IS! it’s just one of those puff things. It’s like a flannel but good for your skin. Really not that rough!

Juno Awards Comedy GIF by Nickelback

A loofah is a dried section from a loofah plant. It has dried plant fibres and holes through the length of it.

Frogetmenot · 26/02/2024 09:31

There's two different kinds of loofah...one is a kind of plant which you could sand down furniture with and the other is a body puff

I wash every day, all over with a bar of soap...I thought that was normal. Essential now I'm getting night sweats.

professionalnomad · 26/02/2024 09:32

Shower everyday with soap and use showergel on a showerpuff thingy so I'm nice and lathered all over except face where I use a facewash
Hair washed twice a week

I grew up in a hot country so it seems normal to me to shower everyday. My husband who gre up in the depths of North Yorkshire also showers everyday. I think any less is gross.

DIYnovices · 26/02/2024 09:32

There are quite a few posters saying that OP’s routine is too much and she shouldn’t be using ‘man made chemicals’ on her body every day.

im genuinely curious about why not. Are there some side effects or risks that I don’t know about? Is the use of a loofah a problem?

Calliopespa · 26/02/2024 09:32

PawsisShady · 26/02/2024 09:18

@Calliopespa I'm talking body lotion/oil/cream being necessary regardless of scrubbing - for mixed race and black people it is necessary and lotion after every single shower is normal so skin doesn't get dry and ashy

I think it’s true skin types differ a lot. See poor nannyfannybanny’s post.

I have found that by reducing the stripping with lots of sudsing and scrubbing, I can manage with just a weekly moisture boost on my body. Face I still need daily.

MaloneMeadow · 26/02/2024 09:33

Newsenmum · 26/02/2024 09:25

NO ONE KNOWS WHAT A LOOFAH IS! it’s just one of those puff things. It’s like a flannel but good for your skin. Really not that rough!

Loofahs are not good for your skin. They’re absolutely disgusting and unhygienic. Sitting there damp in the shower growing bacteria 24/7

Flannels when used appropriately (in other words once before going back in the wash) are good to exfoliate with and much more hygienic.