to think is gross / to be worried?

[listyle]

a friend of mine has been telling me for a while now she's suffering with smelling of body odour on her armpits even after showering.

She asked me do I ever smell after showering & I said no. She asked what am I doing different from her so i asked about her diet/what body wash is she using etc we got talking about shower routines and I explained I use a loofah and that I literally scrub my body from head to toe, and that I shower everyday & use deodorant afterwards as well as body lotion etc.

She was shocked , first of all that i shower everyday , she said she showers AT MOST 3 times a week and when she does shower she jumps in, rinses her body with water, whacks shower gel on her hands puts it on armpits and bum (nowhere else) , rinses that off and hops out (excepts for the days she washes her hair, she'll do that) and she'll only use a deodorant when she's bothered. I said to her "no wonder". I wanted to be as nice as possible. I explained that she needs to start washing her full body and washing armpits 2/3x and preferably with a loofah & ALWAYS use deodorant afterwards. She was like "but the issue is only my armpits I don't need to be putting body wash anywhere else I only wash my armpits and bum"

I was being so so nice to her but also trying to get the seriousness across and the importance of personal hygiene.

It's shocked me to be honest she's a close friend and she doesn't come across as dirty. I've never smelled anything bad off of her, she comes across as clean and presents herself well.

I feel a bit concerned is it mental health related? We're very good friends and I've never once thought she has bad mental health but I suppose it's not always visible.

She just seemed so shocked that I shower everyday. She couldn't wrap her head around that I use a loofah and I wash my arms/legs/belly button/back , literally everywhere. She literally only rinses with water, uses hands to wash armpits and bum and that's it. She said her showers are no longer than 3/4 minutes (unless washing hair which would make it 10 mins)

She also mentioned if she wants to shave she'll take a bath but won't put anything in the bath. Only put body wash on armpits and bum and when she rinses that off the suds will go into the bath.

She said she thought this was the norm and what most people did.

I don't know, I haven't stopped thinking about it all day. Am I crazy? If it was your friend would you be worried? I'm not sure if she took on what I said about what she should be doing. She seemed like it would be so much effort for her to do.

(I know she doesn't use mumsnet)

Oh and I shower every other day.. unless there is physical activity or sex on no-shower day.

She showers 3x a week. Thats every other day almost. I think she needs to do more. But its hardly going to cause health issues from lack of hygiene. She could improve things a lot using soap though.

I couldnt just wash bum and pits. Im overweight with a ceasarean fold and i need to make sure i get everywhere where there could be sweat/bacteria/dead skin. It doesnt take long at all with a flannel and soap. I do also clean my belly button and feet as its again areas that could become problematic if not. I dont go crazy though.

If she has issues with her weight and scars etc then maybe unhygenic but i have heard of much worse.. particularly when people unwell mentally.

Soap is not that good for your skin. It kills the good bacteria that protect your skin as well as the bad ones that cause BO, and lead to dry skin and skin conditions. Shower oils are best.

No. This is correct. I do the same. It doesnt take long at all.

I wash my hair, pop conditioner on and whilst conditioner is soaking in i do the same as you then rinse everything off.
Dry pits, then deodorant.

I shower 3 x a week and don’t smell.

Yes, I’m aware this could have been noise blindness but I come from a family who take no prisoners when it comes to odours. They can smell the slightest pong at 20 paces.

I look 10 years than I am and I put it down to no alcohol, no cigs and no constant stripping of oils from my skin by too frequent washing.

I sound like your friend. Just water is fine for washing, and is much kinder to your skin. I actually have to use a prescribed lotion to wash, as my skin is sensitive. But I only use that in certain areas, and never feel the need to scrub arms and legs. And I can assure you, I don't have any mental health problems! How bizarre that you would even think that of your friend, just because she's not being obsessive like you are?

Excessive scrubbing with chemicals and loofah's, means that you are stripping your skin of all it's natural oils. I doubt your skin will age well if you continue with this obsession.

Dermatologists advise not to shower daily - these are the professionals. Not sure why you think you know better than people who actually look after people's skin for a living!

I scrub my pits and use a femfresh soap for my butt and give a quick wash over the rest of my body but I dont scrub myself. I honestly dont think its necessary.

I hate most deodorant, the strong smells (especially from many roll on ones) set off a migraine... nothing worse than having to sit with others at work who have no consideration for the fact that they stink like a chemical factory and that can medically effect others.

I find Dove pomegranate and lemon verbena is OK, it's a very soft smell. I don't suffer from migraines but got fed up with being able to smell my deodorant.

If your friend's pits are smelling bad when she is fresh from the shower, she is not cleaning them enough. This isn't rocket science.

Is it possible that she and/or her boyfriend is checking them after she has put on her clothes? If so, might it be that there is a build-up on her clothes?

This is the trade-off: it's better for your skin not to over-cleanse, but more of those oils and bacteria build up on your clothes, especially if you're washing at 30 degrees.

I’m wondering if it’s the lack of deodorant that’s the problem.

I’d say I’m probably somewhere between OP and her friend as far as shower habits go, but I do always wear deodorant.
If I don’t wear deodorant, because I’ve run out or whatever, that’s when I start to notice BO smells after a few hours, regardless of how thorough the shower in the morning was.

Also, is she washing her towels and clothes regularly?

If someone dries themselves on a stinky towel that’s not been washed in weeks, or re-wears their sweaty unwashed clothes from the other day, then that’s going to make them a bit smelly even if they’ve scrubbed themselves from head to toe with soaps just before that.

Completely agree this. Also a more appropriate scrub level.

I do enjoy the occasional loofah ( the original plant version) but they are unhygienic and really need to be used as a one off item unless very carefully rinsed and dried out. ( All the dead skin is trapped in those tiny fibres). I have also seen them with specks of mould in peoples bathrooms. Life is a bit short to be cleaning a fibrous dried plant …

Flannels can be thrown straight into a good hot wash.

Sorry for quoting OP in full in my previous message. I have been off social media for a while and am just re-learning the app!

I find not wearing deodorant makes me stinky. I know there are lots of health cautions and I also know people say if you stop for long enough the body will adjust but I’ve never had a space of time in which to try it ( guess I should have experimented in lockdown) .

The towel bit is just 🤢🤮. Damp tea towels and towels are beyond foul. I actually think if I had to choose between a daily shower and a fresh towel or tea towel I’d choose the clean towels. Otherwise the shower is pointless. Again, there are eco issues: life is not simple ( unless you are only looking from one angle).

Saying she might have MH issues because she only showers 3 x a week is a bit strong. She is clearly concerned about her hygiene else she wouldn't be telling you she has started having BO. It's good she trusts you.
Neither of your routines is wrong per se. I would just say casually 'I guess, shower more thoroughly, or more often? Not that I've noticed.'
You could look up recipes for natural skincare, like stuff you can make at home. She might be into that if she dislikes chemicals etc. But don't try and shame her.
It seems odd to feel so concerned about this to be honest.

Surely loofas and things like that harbour germs etc.

i shower every day. Occasionally twice (like if I have one in the morning then play sport I’ll have another one). Just use my hands to lather up the shower gel which I concentrate on bum, pits, lady parts etc, hair wash every other day….

even then I notice slightly wiffy pits which I think is my age (40s) and hormones. Maybe if your friend is similar age and has only just noticed the BO it could be hormonal etc ?

for me the amount of showering she does isn’t enough. I’d feel gross but it’s obviosuky what she’s always done.

I’m still laughing at this today, because she doesn’t use a loofah, she is mental.

That's funny 😂

I would say if she didn't smell before doing the same routine but does now, it's much more likely to be either hormonal or she potentially has a fungal infection. She should see a doctor or advanced practioner.

I use my hands to wash my body, with a bar of soap daily (shower). Wash hair every other day.

I can't believe you only use a loofah OP, that's disgusting.

I personally scrub all over with a squirt of bleach and a toilet brush (then clean it in the dishwasher of course)

This sometimes happens to me and the smell is not for not washing properly. I think it is hormonal. I suffer from excessive sweating and am conscious of washing and wearing deodorant but every now and again no matter how well I wash, my armpits stink after showering.
It can happen with certain foods also, so maybe she could look at her diet if it is only a recent issue.

Also nervous/anxious sweating activates different sweat glands that make sweat smell much worse. My normal sweating takes a while to smell, but panic attack sweating stinks immediately!

@IndigoFlamingoes I'm not talking about specific advice to an individual. It's also very different for children, and I assume your daughter is still a child? as their hair is less greasy, they don't have BO etc.

But do YOU wash everyday? Or do you think your dermatologist advice to your daughter is also applicable to you?

I don't shower every day, it's just not necessary.

I actually walk thru the local car wash.

( joke btw: it could probably kill you)

Folk on here seem to equate not showering, with not washing. Am intrigued by the daily flannel change that goes into a hot wash..I don't use a flannel anymore, trying to persuade DH, you cannot actually put a wet flannel or towel in the wash bin!