To threaten my H with divorce if he ever takes my kids to see MIL again.

[HooversBrokenAgain]

He took them "out" today. All day so I could have a break, he said nothing about going to see his mum.(I don't trust her and have never wanted our children left with her) He comes home looking sheepish MIL has only f gone and pierced my baby daughters ears.

I have been screaming at him for almost 3 hours and am still fuming with rage.

He keeps telling me to take them out if I am so bothered.

I am going to show him this thread so if you all flame me he'll think he is off the hook.

BTW can anyone tell me if it's ok to take them out, they are very bloody and I'm so worried she is mutilated for life

god I am so sorry
I don't know what to say

Show him this:

You are a spineless, gutless, pathetic waste of space. Imagine letting your mother hurt your darling daughter... especially behind your wife's back.

You really need to grow a backbone & realise what your mother did was immoral & classed as assault on a beautiful innocent little girl.

OK, let us know how it goes for you tomorrow. Hope you are OK.

Did she circumcise your husband??

Hoovers I know you're tired but considering what a brutal and horrid thing this is I really would take her to A&E tonigt. They would take photos there I think if you ask them to?

Ah. Hospital. I dont know you

I know someone whose MIL would do the same kind of thing, and DD is the same age.

A&E?

She is asleep

OMG, I feel so bad for you and your baby. How dare that old crone mutilate your child, knowing that you would never have consented to it? How dare your invertebrate husband allow this and I'm fuming at his nonchalance. His child has holes in her ears FFS, probably infected.

Get him on here, he needs an attitude adjustment.

Hope you get some sleep and that DD is OK tomorrow.

I would wake her up and take her, just to be on the safe side.

Hoover - i understand that you're tired and upset but please please think about taking your dd to A&E. i've had infections from dodgy piercings and it's no fun at all. and i was 16, not 14 months.

so so for you and dd.

Utterly shocking, she must be out of her mind, what a monster. I agree with the above, she has blown it, should never see your dc again. I don't think the Police would laugh, but trouble is sounds like dh could have stopped it. Do feel for you.

They WILL heal up.
We removed our adopted toddler's earrings six months ago and the holes are practically gone.

I think everything else has already been said.

Poor you

I would take her anyway TBH it will minimise the risk of infection I am sorry if that scares you but I have seen some piercings go really nasty even when done properly but done like this - I think its for the best -

I would take her to a and e too.

Just adding my .

Its assault. I would get the police, social services involved too. And then get a divorce. Your dh was meant to protect his dd, she must have screamed the place down.

Your poor poor baby girl. This has made me cry too. Take care

Let us know how you get on Hoovers. Hope you and your little girl are ok x

I seriously wouldn't wait until tomorrow to seek medical attention for this. Take her to A&E now. Your MIL has used who knows what to make the holes and has put unsterilised earrings into freshly made raw holes. That is a recipe for severe infection.

Take her to A&E who can take photos if necessary and call the police to meet you there. Really. Do it.

Yes to A&E asleep or not- she could be developing an infection and I wouldn't waste time in getting her seen to. I'd call the police now as well and take photo's at hospital.

i would take her to a & e the risk of infections and blood poisening is just too high and can happen very very quickly.

Hoovers- Please dont back down on this. Your MIL has completely disrespected your authority as your DD's parent and has done something against your wishes. This is so unacceptable and should NEVER happen again. Please do whatever it takes to not let this happen again.

this really would be a deal breaker for me tbh.

If your dh had taken the kids to see mil and she'd done it and he was fuming about it and on your side then that would be one thing, but the fact he seems to think it no big deal says to me that he has no respect for you or your children.

I would get rid of him. And if he was mine he would never have unsupervised access to my children ever again.

Don't know whether your other half ( refuse to say dh) has read this yet but he must by now realise that what he has allowed his mother to inflict on your poor baby is completely unreasonable behaviour.

His mother should be cautioned by someone in authority, (police gp whoever she is most likely to respond to) cultural background is no excuse for inflicting such pain on a child, particularly when she knows of your opinion. To let this lie or brush it under the carpet will only cause more problems in the future, as she obviously feels she can overule your feelings. This may cause dissent in the family in the short term but at least you would feel your child could be left with your doormat husband in the future

Agree that him going back to his mother's and having his ears pierced by her (though with oversized earrings for a true reenactment) would be appropriate under the circumstances. Though he has to bear in mind that he's an adult, given his own informed consent. Unlike your dd, who probably hadn't a fucking clue what was happening to her.

Well look at it this way - if your dd had two sharp and dirty with who knows what nails in her - you would want a medical opinion and possible antibiotics wouldn't you? Your mil is obviously totally out to lunch and so I wouldn't feel able to rely on her to have followed an aseptic procedure. Does dh know is she attempted to sterilise the earrings beforehand - and if she did - how did she do so?

Just read the whole thread in tears imagining this happening to my dd. I cant believe she could do this herself if she had an ounce of feeling for your dd.