To threaten my H with divorce if he ever takes my kids to see MIL again.

[HooversBrokenAgain]

He took them "out" today. All day so I could have a break, he said nothing about going to see his mum.(I don't trust her and have never wanted our children left with her) He comes home looking sheepish MIL has only f gone and pierced my baby daughters ears.

I have been screaming at him for almost 3 hours and am still fuming with rage.

He keeps telling me to take them out if I am so bothered.

I am going to show him this thread so if you all flame me he'll think he is off the hook.

BTW can anyone tell me if it's ok to take them out, they are very bloody and I'm so worried she is mutilated for life

Am still shocked that she did it herself. Unbelievable. Definitely get your DD some medical attention just in case of infection.

And, yes, report this ABH/wounding to police, and get a restraining order.

This is shocking! I hope you have taken them out. How dare she and how dare your Husband not stand up to her and say no!

Not grounds for divorce but an opportunity for you to put your foot down and make the rules about how much contact she has in future!

Hope your dd is ok this morning. I am completely on your behalf. I would definitely regard this as assault.

thinking of you this morning Hoover.

your poor dd, and poor you. your MIL sounds a lot like mine. I don't trust her around dd either. I relented and let her visit at the weekend and guess what she was threatening to pierce dd's ears . I did my best to tell her absolutely no way, but whether she actually heard me is anyone's guess. And as for Sheepishness of partner - i can totally empathise.

How sad for your little girl, but you have an uphill battle against your MIL's traditions.

Personally, I wouldn't involve the police. I've got policemen in the family and think this would just boil down to family dispute and nothing more. You're just going to make your own life a hell if you start a war with the family. Different if you're separated from the husband - then i'd say go for it!

But if you are happily married and intend staying that way, you'd be better off sitting down with the woman and having a family conference and making it clear that what she did was wrong. And cut off contact with her granddaughter for awhile to get the point home.

Involving the police.... that could start a family war that will be very ugly for everyone and have some very harsh longterm consequences, pitting family against family.

What planet is your MIL on?!

I hope you've removed the earings and your little DD is feeling better.

re xenias post, I don't think even a parent is allowed to stick pins through their kid's ears.

I mean, we can't smack to leave a mark (and rightly so, imo)-so I assume we can't make holes in their ears either.

which makes the issue of consent irrelevant. A parent can't consent to someone else doing this to their child, surely?

I'd go to the police too, I agree. And relate.

It's child abuse pure and simple.

Hope your dd is okay this morning, Hoover.

No kid of mine is having their ears pierced until they are old enough to ask me and understand the consequences. That poor baby had no idea what was happening to her.

OMG!!!!

after 12 pages it look like Mumsnet is still shocked by this...My ex-MIL threatened to do this to my DS1, unfortunetly she did it within earshot o the SCBU nurses who then refused to allow her to see him. She aslo had my mum to deal with after that.

I would go to the police, even if allthey did was visit her at home and gave her what for.

I would also go to the GP just so its on record in case anything else ever happens.

good luck HBA...

I realy think you need to cal in the authorities, be that the police, the GP or even your HV just so it is formally logged that this was done to your chid without your consent or knowledge. If SS became involved then you rely don't want there to be the sightest suspicion your were complicit in the intentional wounding of your daughter.

FWIW I think the police would be very interested and it is far better that you involve them as a complainant now rather than becoming a suspect later.

Hope you and your DD are OK

hi hoover, hope everything ok with DD this morning, am keeping my fingers crossed she's nothing more than bemused at being woken up and taken to A&E.

{{{hugs}}}

I would not be responsible for my actions if some one did that to my baby. Its child abuse.

Your poor poor little girl.

I've only just seen this thread and I am appalled at what this woman did to her grandaughter. Hoover, you poor thing.

If it was me, I would question my marriage - I'm not sure I could stay with someone who allowed something like that to happen to our child, knowing that it was not only dangerous and painful, but that the mother of his child did not approve. Shocking.

Blimey

Think I might have been tempted to drive over and stick something sharp in her body, after I had done it to DH, what a wanker.

Hope all is okay Hoover. I personally would not let her see the dc's after this, not without myself supervising, but as being in the same room as me would not be beneficial to mil's health I think no visit would be better for all

I'd be more concerned about any diseases passed on to my child through a manky earring now.

I'd get that looked into first...then I;d go around there a rip her f*cking head off.

don't drive over - you might end up doing something you regret. speak on the phone, contact the police, go to a&e but don't see her in person. you don't want to be charged for assault.

legalities - this is all I could find, but it seems to imply any piercing place would have to register with the Local Authority. Assuming your MIL isn't registered then she hasn't pierced your baby's ears she has rammed dirty metal through your baby's ear lobes. Parental consent (of your DH) is neither here or there - what if he'd consented to having her punched in the face?
Just found this about H&S inspections.

I opened this thinking 'here we go another drama queen taking a pop at her mil about very little'.

OMG I don't think I have been so shocked for a very long time. I read your op with my mouth hanging open on the verge of tears. Especially when it later transpired that your dd is only a little baby of 14 months.

You have had some very good advice on here that I can't improve on. Just wanted to add that YANBU most definately and I think you should definately make a formal complaint whether through the police, social services or your gp. Your dd will recover and be fine but that is so so not the point - this was a terrible thing to do and the fact that it was done against your consent and in such an underhand way just makes it worse.

Your MIL sounds unrepentent and for that she deserves only supervised access (from you not dh) in the future at best. I hope your dh is ashamed of himself for letting this happen. As for how mush you trust him with the children in the future I guess you will be able to decide depending on his reaction to your response.

Let us know what happens.

Found an interesting document, which anyone who wants to know about how legislation affects Piercing may wish to read. Assault, Consent and Body Art: A review of the law relating to assault and consent in the UK and the practice of body art
To me, it implies that ear piercing is an offence under Section 20 of Offences Against A Persons Act 1861.
Your child did not give her consent, but your DH did. CPS would need to decide if it was in the public interest to take such a case to court. Alas I doubt they would consider this, given the consent by DH, but that does not mean that you can't go to the police - as they may still be able to charge it as an offence, but not take it to prosecution.

Personally, I feel that legislation should be put in place which would result in no child (under the age of 13) is able to have their ears pierced, with or without parental consent. Once they are 13 years old, subject to their mental state, then I feel they could sign a consent form. I feel it should be the person to whom the wound is inflicted who gives consent, not a parent!

I hope your DD recovers quickly, and I would refuse MIL access unless such access was supervised by yourself.