To threaten my H with divorce if he ever takes my kids to see MIL again.

[HooversBrokenAgain]

He took them "out" today. All day so I could have a break, he said nothing about going to see his mum.(I don't trust her and have never wanted our children left with her) He comes home looking sheepish MIL has only f gone and pierced my baby daughters ears.

I have been screaming at him for almost 3 hours and am still fuming with rage.

He keeps telling me to take them out if I am so bothered.

I am going to show him this thread so if you all flame me he'll think he is off the hook.

BTW can anyone tell me if it's ok to take them out, they are very bloody and I'm so worried she is mutilated for life

Omg!!!! Omg!!! How can this evil cow call herself a granny and how can he call himself a father! The spineless lump of shit!!! I'd have to clamp his foreskin in a pair of pliers and ask him how he farkin likes it!!!

Bastard!

Hoovers, is your MIL from another culture where this is normal and acceptable?

Quattro, she is. But even if ear piercing is normal in her culture, piercing someone else's child's ears against the mother's wishes can never be acceptable can it?

i'm so horrified my face was like this when i read op

when my dd was a baby i was terrified that her dad or his mum would do exactly this when he had access - luckily it didn't happen.

i don't think the police would take this seriously as an assault though as dd's father was present.{haven't read whole thread so just assuming this fact}

i'd take baby to doctors in morning.

I hope A & E are giving you good treatment and plenty of support Hoover
Your posts here are some of the saddest and most shocking I think I've ever read on Mn.
I'm not usually a "divorce the fecker" sort of person but I have a 7 month old niece and they are defenceless at this age and perfect just as they are.
I don't think I could face a future with a man who allowed his child to be hurt in this way

WTF??? Does your "DH" have any respect for you as THE MOTHER OF YOUR CHILD??? HOW DARE he allow the mad bitch to do this?? To show how much gold you have?? She can't even justify it with a religious reason (not, imo, that it would make it any better). If my mother did that to my child i would never speak to her again, if my MIL did it, or anyone else, they would be dead .

Mr Hoover - grow a backbone mate, your DD is going to need her daddy to protect her one day, oh no hang on, she did, today - you didn't

[anger]

what a bloody awful thing to hear about. HBA - i fell abgry and sickened on your behalf. never mind trying your best for yr dd, your trust has been horrendously broken. alot of very strong emotions have been expressed here - but only you know how you are reaally feeling. is there any of your own friends and family there to support you. i know that you have to have space to get your head around what dh & MIL have done. poor you also having to take her to A&E. i presume he stayed at home with the other dcs? jeez - for me - lifting my sleeping baby to take her out in the night is a bloody horrible thing to have to do, never mind deal with the situation.

i really hope she is ok, that you arent feeling too wrought and shaky about this and that you have kind, warm and caring folks around you.

let us know how you get on.

oh - and if DH is reading this. i really hope you feel embarrassed about what you have done. do you note any posts in support of what you have done? nope - what does that tell you?

what a vile woman and a twat of a H
can't beleive that she thought it would have been ok, makes me feel sick thinking about it.

Tell you what, give us her and his email address and let us flame them direct...

i've only read the first page.
take the earings out now.
calm down yourself, and calm the baby down.
i want to say chuck the husband out, but that would be ott.
it doesnt matter whether you are asian or not. if the mother doesnt want them done, then they are not to be done. period.
i'd be wary about callling th epolice. presumably she did it with the babies father's consent, and therefore it probably isnt illegal. so the police probably cant really do anything aboutit.
if he ever does take them to visit again, you shouldnt threaten him with divorce, you should simply do it.

Have u taken her to hosp hoover? Am so fucking shocked, my friend got meningitis septacemia from a piercing that was done PROPERLY at a reputable piercing shop. Pls post soon x

The lower your class the more likely to pierce a small child's ears (with some exceptions in particular cultures).

So take them out obviously. The father presumably "consented" so I suspect legally you don't have a leg to stand on but morally it's bad. The gap will just close up.

It seems a bit harsh that the grandparents can't visit their children. Could they visit in a supervised way say when the children are with your own parents without you there?

I was listening to some justifications for female genital mutilation earlier - absolutely dire and so prevalent in Egypt, this was.

I would write her a letter just for the record saying you did not consent and if she does physically do anything similar to the children again you will bring a civil claim for damages against her for trespass for the person or whatever it would be (problem here is that the father consented though and presumably he will again if that's his relationship with her).

Mr Hoover

ARE YOU A MAN OR A MOUSE?

YOUR MOTHER IS A LUNATIC AND SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED NEAR YOUR DAUGHTER AGAIN!!!!!

Xenia - there's a time and a place and this isnt it.

Really angry on your behalf and sad too. Can;t believe she did it herself I would be beside myself too. Really hope your dd is ok and your dh realises how serious it could be!

Absolutely horrific, I can't begin to picture your mil doing this to your baby without welling up. I really hope you do decide to press charges against her so she realises what a cruel thing she did to a defenceless baby.

And if this thread isn't enough to make you press charges, think of it this way: Imagine if a stranger had done this- taken your baby away into an upstairs room away from her father, and stuck pins through her ears. You'd want that person done for ABH. The fact that this was your mil makes no difference, your baby was hurt and endangered by her for the most vain and vulgar of reasons.

Good on your for taking her to A&E, many years ago I had a baby brother who died from septicemia after being injected with a dirty needle in a hospital. God only knows what was on her earrings. SO angry and sad for you, give the poor little thing extra hugs from us all.

Oh FGS xenia, the most irrelevant piece of posting I have ever read!

You can't press charges when the father consented. What's the offence - he agreed. He's a parent, I'm afraid. In fact my comment to that effect above was the most relevant thing on the thread in terms of her remedies actually.

I was referring to the class comment!

Xenia, is the class thing really relevant here?

Xenia, wtf has class got to do with it! A baby has been assaulted in a painful and damaging way. I know you enjoy and revel in your upper class status and notoriety on here, but playing the part on this thread is not really on, is it!

Didn't the op say her dh was downstairs when her mil pierced the baby's ears? If she sneaked off and did it undr the pretence of, say, changing her nappy, then he didn't give his consent and she can press charges. Of course if he knew what was going to happen and didn't stop her then he indirectly gave his permission.

I'm no expert but it might be a bit more complicated than that xenia. a parent can consent to have their babies ear-pierced in a safe clinical environment (wrong, imo, but I believe that's the law). the father did not consent to that. he consented to his baby being assaulted by having probably unsterile pins through her ears. like I said, I'm no expert, but I really wouldn;t be surprised if what the mil did was not "ear-piercing" (legal) but was assault (not legal). if (big if, I'm no expert - 3rd time, just to make clear!) that were the case father's consent would be irrelevant.

But surely he must have heard her crying???

but imagine if he sat downstairs and listened to his dd crying while he belived she was getting a nappy changed. why he wasnt then storming up the stairs to find out why she crying IN PAIN!