To have left this date.

[Needtonamechange9]

So I'm pretty certain I'm in the right.

I've been talking to this guy on the Bumble app for almost 2 months. Finally pinned down a date we could both meet (tonight).

I spent time getting ready and uberring 30 mins to see him and this is what happens. I'm the grey one.

I'm still in shock and on way home. If you read the rest of the messages from before today this guy seemed SO NORMAL!!!! Has a good job, kids.... WTF!!!!

Wow, he was so rude standing you up like that. You are definitely right to be upset, he clearly decided his friend was more important than meeting you and just blew you off. He knew you were there! By yourself! And not just for a few minutes, he happily stood you up and didn’t even really apologise!

I think you are right to have left and I would now advise you to block.

You sound mental! I've had male friends over or been to guys homes without it being anything sexual - that's normal

Where the hell did the threesome come from??

I also would have ended the date - definitely not gone to his as dangerous, but what drugs are you taking?

I can't believe people are on here saying you sound 'unhinged' and that he's dodged a bullet.

I would hazard a guess and say that most of the posters saying that are in long term relationships and have no idea what OLD is like! I'm totally with you and would have said / done exactly the same as you

I found him and his messages weird and disrespectful.

@Needtonamechange9 Were you expecting/looking to have sex? Because to my mind meeting as late as 10pm suggests to me that's what he was looking for.

He didn't sound great. But you were the one who kept going on about sex, not him.

Yeah OP I’m with you on this one. He arranged to meet you for a date, drinks etc. Then was running late, then was with his female instead, then wanted you to go to his to be with him and this friend. Then said it wasn’t first date with you, then it was a date you’re the one he wants etc. Fuck that shit. Don’t know if was after a threesome or not but he was definitely messing you around before yous had even the date. You are well rid and hopefully the next time he has a date arranged with someone he sticks to the plans

I think you trusted your gut which God knows more women should do. Well done.

Yeah, I don’t know if the posters disagreeing with you have not been online dating lately but OP doesn’t seem to weird to me at all, because this is pretty much exactly how it goes. If a man tries to get you to his place the first time you meet, he expects sex, yes. The “we’ll have a good night” line would DEFINITELY make me think he was pushing a threesome, because OP is right, he’s typing and talking like he’s already had quite a bit to drink with a female friend. And then even when he claimed he’d gotten his “friend” to leave, he STILL tried to pressure OP to come to his. No, just no, and a no again. And then he finally gave up and came out. After an hour of trying to convince her to come to his. His friend has a lot of relationship problems but she wants to hang out with a stranger and listen to music? And she’s already been drinking with him? I think you’ve made a good call, @Needtonamechange9 .

Well I'm agreeing that the 'friend' didn't exist and he's dodgy as anything, so date would be over - but the threesome and sex accusations were bloody odd too

He was really rude to be so late and not tell his friend he has plans.
It was slightly strange to invite you there on a first date.
So I get why you're pissed off and left but the threesome thing is a bit of a reach and an overreaction.

I think you were being unreasonable to accuse him of a threesome but if he's being flaky for a first date then life's absolutely too short to spend more time and energy on him!

Nah I dont think he meant threesome either. I had similar he said his friend wanted to meet him quickly when I met him at train station I said I wasn't comfortable and I got off train and they were both there anyway
The man looked nothing like his profile and was trying to get me go back his with his friend so I legged it.
I think I was nice what he did for his friend but also he should have said he had a date.

I would have done the exact same thing.

Although my whole thought process throughout reading was my concern for your safety, thank god you didn't go to his house, god knows what could have happened. Hopefully you've blocked him.

He may well have wanted her to go to his all along, but is aware that any woman with half a brain would refuse to do so on a first date. So the "female friend" may simply have been a ploy to make her feel safe to go to his.

Seems a bit odd he wanted to meet so late and although he agreed to make it earlier he didn’t actually show at the time agreed - If he hadn’t been messaging so much I’d think he was on another date. Kind of convenient that someone should show up to his house unexpectedly- I don’t think I’ve had anyone do that in the last decade. Most people don’t even like phoning without texting first let alone turning up on the doorstep. The whole thing is very off.

Why would he say we could have a good night if the friend was distraught enough to interrupt a date on Sat night? It is code and you guessed what for...I agree with your interpretation OP, I have had guys suddenly need to stay in/visit their house on online dating and it's for one reason only. Whether the friend existed, was male or a lure to get you there, it doesn't matter. You ran, that was correct!

I’m sorry, I can see why you have got annoyed BUT your reaction was just 😵‍💫🤯

I mean have some dignity and handle the situation.
Yup, I probably would have left (after having a cocktail because I wouldn’t take a 30 min ride and at least not treat myself to a drink) and blocked the guy as I don’t have time for this but you just went batshit crazy on him. I’m surprised he didn’t just blocked you

This is my thought. There are some dangerous people out there.

That was actually the first red flag for me!
He would have had OPs address - that didn’t work so he tried conning her to go to his!
Very very lucky escape and OP was right to trust her gut.

Yep, from the messages sounds like he was definitely trying to invite you over for a threesome, but trying not to say it explicitly. You absolutely did the right thing, I’d never met a date at their house, especially to ‘have a good time’ with their female ‘friend’ there. Sorry you wasted two months and hope you got home safely x

@JamSandle Indeed there are. I was on OLD after my divorce and met some right weirdos/idiots.
It was worth it though... ended up marrying the last man I met on there (pleased to report not a weirdo/idiot in the slightest! ❤️

You've never met in person? I'd be concerned he was trying to get you straight round to his place, another woman or not.

WTF is wrong with you 😂😂😂😂😂

He’s been a bit weird but you were way weirder. Would you have said any of that if it was a male friend ? Christ. I mean… I’d have declined his invitation and been pretty pissed off but there’s not a cat in hells chance I’d have put all that in writing.