To have left this date.

[Needtonamechange9]

So I'm pretty certain I'm in the right.

I've been talking to this guy on the Bumble app for almost 2 months. Finally pinned down a date we could both meet (tonight).

I spent time getting ready and uberring 30 mins to see him and this is what happens. I'm the grey one.

I'm still in shock and on way home. If you read the rest of the messages from before today this guy seemed SO NORMAL!!!! Has a good job, kids.... WTF!!!!

This, all the way.
What a sinister creep.

Give your head a wobble!

Sitting reading through this thread of a Sunday morning.

Hard to believe some of the pp, what is going on in this world?? Gut instinct and the gift of fear are good things and keep women safe.

Men know what men are like, so I read out the texts to DH, just up to "three of us could have a good time" or whatever it was.

That's all it took for him to raise his eyebrows and say "we know what that's code for..."

And everything else was leading up to that on a straight one-way road. OP was absolutely right to run.

Lots of red flags here, the chatting for ages before meeting, last minute arrangements for a date in a bar at 9.30/10.00, the location being right near him but 30mins from the OP, being late/not showing up/changing plans etc. Also him saying he wants to be with OP etc when they haven’t even met.

I don’t think I’d have bothered with the text exchange though just left. Definitely don’t contact him again!

Anyone else very concerned for the future safety of all the women saying that he sounds nice and that she overreacted?! 🤯 Bloody hell, I hope they are not looking to begin dating in 2024. So many obvious potentially dangerous red flags on this guy.

Pretty much exact same response from my DH too, at the same point in the text exchange too! Even the raised eyebrow 😂

Men know, you're right.

I'd hope most women do too, but this thread has sadly shown otherwise!

Why? Would you have gone to a strange man’s house late at night?

OP was 100% right not to go to his house when she’d never met him. The leap to threesome in their chat was what I was referring to.

Hopefully he’s run for the hills.
He helped a friend out so he’s clearly a caring person; with any luck his next match is a little less unhinged

Are you saying you would actually go to a strange man’s house who you’d never met before late at night?

"It all sounded innocent enough"

Really? The whole date sounds like a bad idea (30 mins travel by OP each way, late evening to meet up for perhaps an hour or so if there weren't firm plans afterwards) but what part of going to a complete strangers house to help him console a "female friend" (who may or may not even exist) is OK?

This isn't even a blind date with a friend of a friend where the guy at least has some provenance, this is a random off an OLD app. The "talking for 2 months" is meaningless.

You have completely overreacted.

I'm still going through the thread but just wanted to make clear, because I think some people are mistaken on here. I did not allow him to order me an uber. I booked my own one. There's no way I would have done that.

Help his friend out by leaving his date sat alone in a bar at 10pm without a word. A real prince amongst men.

Well I've just read the text exchange to my 13 year old daughter and she said OMG it sounds like a murder plan

Thank god she's not as naive as some of the posters on here.

Apart from anything else why on earth would a woman who was so distressed about a break up that she turns up at a friend's house at 10pm all of a sudden want to party with a complete stranger with 'drinks' and 'music' having a 'chill' and a 'nice time'. Makes no sense. Batshit indeed

You’re either a man or gullible or easily pleased.

😳😱🫣

Please tell me this isn't a genuine response.

Course you would dear, course you would

^exactly this

I can’t believe how harsh some people are to OP. Anyway OP, I would have taken the same meaning from those messages as you! and for a first date, it completely bizarre not to turn up and be keen to meet you ie make an effort.

I feel you have had a lucky escape. I hope you are okay and you find someone nicer and more genuine.

There was another post a couple of days ago where the OP was dating someone who essentially saw it as free sex, is getting where some of these guys can’t even be bothered to do the basics for a date.

I think he's dodged a bullet there....

You would have gone to his flat then?

I had something similar happen to me OP. Tried meeting up with this guy several times but he always seemed to have some reason that it didn't quite work, and then would angle to meet elsewhere or say it was easier if he just came over to mine. I didn't want him having a clue where I lived, let alone coming over to mine. He didn't seem to get why I wouldn't want him to come over to mine when I didn't know him and kept saying he was a nice guy. Eventually I told him clearly things weren't going to work between us, and I blocked him.

These days I'd block a lot sooner and wouldn't put up with this shenanigans. Meet me at the time stated, in a place that's safe for me, or fuck off. Understand that I need to stay safe and that anyone can say they're a nice guy, it doesn't make them so. Who knows what this bloke wanted but I think you were right to be very suspicious of him.

Yes and look at how badly she got lynched by the naive and the gullible. It just goes to show that some women really do have low standards and will accept shit behaviour from men

I see they’ve edited out the bit they said they’d have gone over there to meet these two strangers. 🙄