I met my husband through an old-fashioned dating agency (do they still exist?) a couple of decades ago, I met lots of very nice men, but also got chatting to many of them during the dates (I didn't drink, they always did) and what I learned was that even though they were paying £££ to meet Ms Right, they would be happy with a shag as an outcome of the evening, and so tried it on with pretty much most of their dates in a kind of ask and see what you get way. Only one was pushy and put his hands on me and he got thrown out of the dating agency, unfortunately meeting men in the wild doesn't have these type of back ups.
For those saying that dating and meeting horrible men, is all about luck- this thread is an opportunity to learn about getting luckier, by avoiding them on day one.
The easiest way to tell if something is bullshit is do the 'sniff' test. So, in this instance, think about your 46 year old husband, or even your 46 year old self. How many times has a female friend come around to your house, your home (not called) because they were very upset about a boyfriend in the past 6 months? Called at the house? On a Sat night? Ok, so I know that's a nope, because I have a lot of female friends who go through crises regularly and none just turn up at my house, they would call me, and see me when I was available, even in a crisis. See also my grandma was in hospital and this left me unable to call you for days. Again, when your grandma has been very ill in hospital- how many times has this happened in the last, say 6 months, to the state you have been unable to use a mobile phone for many days? O
These stories are used because they make the person seem kind and sympathetic. Unfortunately, they are lies. Perhaps he has a female flatmate, or no friend, or a male friend. It doesn't matter, it's a lie.
If, by some miracle, you are the statistical outlier who happens to be going on a date (near him, 5 min from his house, paid for in an Uber by him, all red flags to file), and he needed to change the arrangements, he wouldn't say- hey come over anyway and we can have a fun night with my friend (while she is crying?), he would write this:
'Hi X', I'm so sorry but I don't think I can leave my friend, she's very distraught, I think I'm going to have to cancel. I am so so sorry, I know you have travelled to see me, and I really appreciate it. I will pay for your Uber back. I totally understand if you don't want to see me again as this is such a let down, but would it be ok if I contacted you again in a few days and suggested a daytime meeting somewhere convenient for you. Again, I am so sorry'
He wouldn't write, hey, my friend is still up for a fun night and music, come over!!!!
Seriously, even if you aren't intending to date, you need to be giving your teens good advice on how to keep safe and do fun dating, both your male and female teens- and some of the advice on here is unsafe and blind to some very common tropes in the dating scene.
I taught my girls to always go with their gut even if they can't put their finger on why or they might be wrong. Always remove yourself and then work it out. Be impolite, get off the bus, leave the house, don't just sit there being polite. Politeness is deadly for women.