To have left this date.

[Needtonamechange9]

So I'm pretty certain I'm in the right.

I've been talking to this guy on the Bumble app for almost 2 months. Finally pinned down a date we could both meet (tonight).

I spent time getting ready and uberring 30 mins to see him and this is what happens. I'm the grey one.

I'm still in shock and on way home. If you read the rest of the messages from before today this guy seemed SO NORMAL!!!! Has a good job, kids.... WTF!!!!

I’ll be sure I never say to my friends or acquaintance, come round to see my husband and I , we will have a great time, In case they think I’m a swinger

You really cant see the difference between inviting existing friends round and a first date? She had never met this bloke before- thats not remotely the same as inviting friends round. I'm not saying it was a threesome plan but you really think its ok to have to meet someone's friend too on a first date???

Women on MN have the lowest standards I have ever seen when it comes to men!

The amount of people who think all men are sexual deviants or axe murderer’s is staggering.

Talking about MRA’s and incels. Step away from the internet and get some real life perspective.

Well I think all your messages to him was a bit intense, seriously just the fact if I'd been sitting there for an hour waiting for some guy who then messages me to tell me he's with someone else wouldn't make me send a flurry of demanding questions, I'd just keep it short and simple and say no thanks then mate, enjoy your night with your "friend", being messed around isn't for me. You're going to have to grow a thicker skin for online dating, these men ARE going to do this to you a lot.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Beautifully said

Step away from the internet and get some real life perspective.

Real life perspective: raped by a man who I thought wanted to date me.

If you're telling men on online dating sites that you can't wait to date them but your husband has come home unexpectedly, so why don't they pop around to yours for a mutual good time... yes, they probably do think you are a swinger.

No. I would have turned around, gone home and blocked him at the first mention of the female friend and him trying to lure me to his place. I would not have got into a long conversation about threesomes. That is what OP was U (slightly batshit) about. But he also sounds like a creep and possibly dangerous.

And I am a similar age to him and dates start at 7pm not 10pm when you are middle aged. 😂

You sound batshit.

No and everyone has repeatedly said she did the right thing leaving.

Reading through a few of the comments now and although I wouldn't have gone to threesome either, the heckles would have been massively up. That's the trouble when you've been online dating for a while. It's so damaging to self esteem and you question everything. There are so many weirdos out there.

The OP probably went through lots of no gos with other guys and then she finally arranges what seems like a normal date and then this happens. Another let down. Jumping to the threesome conclusion is probably wrong but it's complete bull that a woman in distress just turned up. Who knows what the deal was but the outcome was he was a let down.

Only people who have been dating on the apps and have experience of these guys know what it's like out there. You have to have such tough skin and you end up expecting shit behaviour. It's really hard not to jump to conclusions.

Please don't be totally put off OP, there are some good ones!!

Having read the texts I hope Seb walks away from this.

10pm for a first meeting is seriously odd unless you’re both shift workers (not really a date if it’s just a couple of drinks to meet in person) and, yes, he ought to have reached out as soon as the friend arrived. It sounds as though he was caught between a rock and a hard place and didn’t know how to tell a distressed person that he’d need to speak to her tomorrow as he had plans at that moment.

However I can’t find the words to explain my reaction to OP’s texts without getting my reply reported/deleted by MN. Hope Seb realises he’s dodged a bullet today and blocks OP.

I think you’ve misread. Not one person said she should go round. Not one. There is no naivety. What is being said is immediately jumping to he wanted a threesome, when they’d never even discussed sex, and then badgering him if he wanted to shag his mate and declaring you only get invited to folks homes for sex is utterly batshit.

she simply could have said, I’m out. Bye. Blocked and deleted. Interrogating the man about sex is utterly odd.

100%
I can't believe the amount of people buying his bullshit. He was probably sat in his pit, pissed / stoned, couldn't be fucked going out so tried to lure OP back.
OLD is full of absolute creeps. Maybe those of us who have done it for a while are more likely to recognise this.

You were very rude and jumping to thinking he wanted a threesome. He kept saying she's just a friend. Lucky escape for him. Yabu.

What a disgusting response!!

I fail to see the equivalence between an existing friend or acquaintance and husband and this situation.

Do people think nobody would pull this shit??

Genuinely sheltered lives.

Wow he has had a lucky eacape there. A female friend dropped into see him, so that automatically means he is planning a threesome with you?.

YANBU to not go to his house when you don’t know him, or be annoyed about the time delay - would have been enough for me to leave…
but YAB massively U to keep mentioning threesomes and sex and you were ott.
You went from molehill to mountain pretty quick!

You’re definitely coming across worse than him here…

Statistically that is a very rare thing to happen

It's not though. I've been sexually assaulted on a first date, and if you asked my friends, they would have similarly awful stories about men trying to grope them, coerce them into sex when they didnt want it etc. Date rape stats arent accurate because most people are too embarrassed to report them, women get blamed (eg what were you wearing etc) and the chances of a prosecution are extremely low. Therefore, we don't know the "true" stats on how often rape actually occurs

No it’s bloody not. Do you watch the news ? Or documentaries.