To ask what your 'glass next to the dishwasher' moment was?

[Rosesareradish]

Or is it the straw that broke the camels back?

I was working today, so I asked DP to get something out of the freezer to defrost for dinner. He was at home with the children, I was working until 6. At lunch time I text to say I would go to Aldi after work so I'd be late home.

I got home at 7.15, I unloaded the car and he put the shopping away. I went for a wee and said goodnight to the children. I then went in to the living room to ask what was for dinner. Nothing! He didn't get anything out of the freezer, he gave the children soup for tea and he had a nice sausage roll he'd bought.

No thought whatsoever to me eating. My irked face probably gave me away and he suggested I have cereal or cook something I'd just bought from Aldi.

AAAARGH.
AIBU to be so annoyed? I would never have left him without dinner after working. Especially if he then went and did the weekly shop afterwards (which he never does anyway..!)

Because I would have to put pissy sheets on the bathroom floor.. Meaning more work for me, because I'd have to clean the floor as well... Who in their right mind leaves pissy sheets festering longer than necessary.

She didn't have extra bedding at that time, so needed to be washed and dried ready for bed time.
If I hadn't spent the rest of the day at the laundrette, she wouldn't have had clean bedding, because she also managed to wet the duvet through.

As the title says, it's a last straw moment and showed he obviously thought more of his needs than anyone else in the house. Think he was making a point because I'd been on the night shift and... OMG, had had to act like a parent.

OFGS

comprehension issues? There have also been numerous explanations

There's even an enormous MN link to an article that explains all.

My ex said something similar to me. I tipped his dinner into his lap (it was spaghetti bolognaise!) and told him I would never make another meal for him. He did apologise after a few days of no dinners, but I was already planning my divorce by then. I’m married to someone who is so much nicer now.

@neilyoungismyhero it’s never too late to end a marriage.

I do agree. My dear aunt must have been in her 60s when she left her selfish bullying husband. Their children went on loving her and she started enjoying life with friends and family.

EDIT: ooops I meant to quote PP who said it’s never too late to leave. Enjoy the rest of your life like my aunty did!

I have read this thread and it makes me weep, why oh why do us women even allow this crap to go on for a month never mind a decade? I have put up with shit and now my daughter is putting up with a man that doesn't see why he should have to do anything in the home unless it is "show" cooking when friends visit. I hope she throws him out very soon. It is heartbreaking that we put up with such crap partners.

I have read the whole thread, thanks. This post seems like there may have been more to the story that the poster hadn't given. Did you struggle to understand my post?

This is actually mine. And it’s the best thing I’ve ever done.

Long story short : our tastes have changed we don’t like the same stuff anymore, long illness on his part massively affected his appetite and taste. This affected my MH trying to navigate cooking for him and constant rejection of my efforts - mostly the illness caused this tbf. In the end I signed up for hello fresh and now eat exclusively what I like from their range and he buys and cooks for himself which he does willingly. He still offers me portion of whatever he makes and still does brew runs etc. There is no animosity around it, we both realise that this is what we needed to do.

Or stop feeding him and let him get it himself for eternity?

Do you not know what ‘straw that broke the camel’s back’ means?

Glad you realised.
It actually does not sound like nothing to me. Sounds incredibly rude and treating you like a maid, just that one thing on its own.

To be fair to @WestendVBroadway I could have worded it a little better - what I meant was how some posters don't seem to understand the thread purpose, rather than title.

But yes if you read on even a few posts you'd soon get the gist.

And thank you to the poster that linked the actual post - I've saved this to show to my DS so he understands why it's important to make someone feel cared for. It's not about the glass!!

Wow, what an absolute piece of shit.

Congratulations on moving on from your horrible first marriage to someone who deserves you.

Oh wow thats grim!!!!

No, I don't have comprehension issues! I have never heard the expression before. On reading the thread it did become apparent. that the OP had made up a phrase that she though made sense Where is the link to its explanation?
Why are you being so rude? When you clearly have punctuation issues.

She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes By The Sink | HuffPost Life

Hopefully you understand it now

Thank you for the link. In my household we never put glasses in the dishwasher, because they often get a strange film on them. So to leave them on the side is normal for me.😁

I joined MN (as a man) when I got upset at my then wife, but also aware I had to get over it.

I was working hard, my then wife did not do housework as she said it would not be to my standard. I did not want that, I just wanted help.
She us suffering from unemployment as none of the jobs she was offered interested her. But it did mean that I was working extra, so my day was wake up, clean up after her, work long hours, typically get food for dinner and cook donner (if I worked longer I would have dinner at work and let her fend for herself), clean up after us and then straight to bed.
Of course, her from point of view, she was unemployed and doing the emotional labour of around the house.

There was references to kids and sex and we had expected both before we married, but the chance of either was cut off once we were married.

One day she complained at me for leaving kitchen cupboard doors opened and I was plain cross. I struggled to let it go. It was after that that we went to marriage therapy.

We were having a lovely meal in an Italian restaurant in London. Everyone eats faster than me. He gobbled up his pasta, blew his nose on the napkin, and threw it on my plate. He said he thought I had finished, but I clearly had half a plateful to go. Who even does that? We'd been together 10 years.

Are you still in the same situation, or planning your escape? Your daughter might follow your new example if she could see an alternative to what she's putting up with? Maybe even the two of you could live together if that was feasible? 🌹

Instead of getting one breast milk pouch out of the freezer, getting out the whole effing tray and leaving it out so it all defrosted. Uncomfortable and time consuming to pump and was never able to replace it.

”Can you have dinner ready for when I come home at X time” would have been clearer in the OP. The defrosting something but then going to buy groceries does confuse matters.

Not me, my best friend. He was am atse behind closed doors but she hid it from most people. She had a bad fall and did the ligaments in her ankle. On the day she was discharged from hospital - with strict instructions not to move about unnecessarily, and on strong painkillers- he came in from work with a takeaway for himself and REFUSED to make her as much as a cup of tea. She phoned me in tears and I brought her to my house. Reader, she divorced him.

@Newyearoldhair, that is rather more than a glass by the sink!

I hate the men who write these things.
There is something in the tone, that suggests he learnt nothing. He was incredibly arrogant and self-important before, and having claimed to have learned that, he writes rather obvious advice as though he is a special sage.

@Sweden99 he tells anyone that will listen that she left him because he " forgot " to get a takeaway and she is a phsyco 🙄🙄