To ask what your 'glass next to the dishwasher' moment was?

[Rosesareradish]

Or is it the straw that broke the camels back?

I was working today, so I asked DP to get something out of the freezer to defrost for dinner. He was at home with the children, I was working until 6. At lunch time I text to say I would go to Aldi after work so I'd be late home.

I got home at 7.15, I unloaded the car and he put the shopping away. I went for a wee and said goodnight to the children. I then went in to the living room to ask what was for dinner. Nothing! He didn't get anything out of the freezer, he gave the children soup for tea and he had a nice sausage roll he'd bought.

No thought whatsoever to me eating. My irked face probably gave me away and he suggested I have cereal or cook something I'd just bought from Aldi.

AAAARGH.
AIBU to be so annoyed? I would never have left him without dinner after working. Especially if he then went and did the weekly shop afterwards (which he never does anyway..!)

When he chose to spend his Saturdays 'working' in the home office watching porn, rather than spend time with me and the DCs.

Not too late to stop cooking (or doing anything else) for him though

My exhusband used to have sex by turning me over when I wasn't really awake and penetrating my vagina from behind. Then he would bang away until he came. Then he would say " was that good for you?' followed by getting up and wandering off to the bathroom. I used to just lie there ,looking at the blue bedroom curtains we had, and hope it would soon be over. He wanted sex every 3 days so ,if I put up with it, then I bought myself a few days grace.It was such a miserable time in my life

@AngelinaFibres JFC that is beyond horrible. I hope it didn't take you too long to leave him. He didn't want sex, he just wanted to use you to masturbate.

My ex was a cunt-a nasty contolling arsehole-it killed anything I felt for him

He used to come round to 'see the kids' (go through my stuff,check I wasn't fucking anyone and just make a mess)

He'd leave skids up the loo,leave a mess go through my knicker drawer and the one thing that got me was I'd been working on a cross stitch at the time

It was a little victorian girl putting a letter in a letterbox

If been working on it for about 9 months at this time and was about 10 stitches off finishing it

I was super proud of it-i had the frame,the place I was going to hang it-the lot

The bastard poured black coffee (that I'd made him) over it with a smirk on his face

It was the last thing he ever did to me in my own home (took another year or so to get him out of my life via the courts)

He doesn't see he'd done anything wrong

@AngelinaFibres that was rape and I’m so sorry you experienced that. I hope you have someone to talk to and access to counselling if you want it.

He left me in the end ( for a quick year old work colleague). I came from a family where you got married and you stayed married. It was made very clear that if I turned up at home I would be sent back. Not religious, not cultural. My mum stuck with a miserable marriage and thought I should too. It was long before the Internet. I had no idea about women's aid ( if it even existed). I used to ring the Samaritans sometimes because I couldn't admit any of it to people in real life . I had stopped work until our youngest started at the school nursery. I had a 2 year old and a 3 year old. I was so crushed at the time I couldn't see a way out

17 year old

My moment of clarity came when I saw him snoring in the chair having just been home for ten minutes. He worked half a day every day, always straight to the pub and never helped with house work.
i just saw his snoring face and thought “you could do a lot worst!” Then I thought “how exactly?!”
I dumped him the next day and cheerily watched him
move out to a rental.

You do realise that all these are the tips of very large icebergs?

I was living with my ex at the time. I went away for the weekend and I asked him to change the bed before I came back. I had already washed the fresh sheets and they were drying. When I came back, he hadn't done it and the clean laundry was in a ball on the kitchen floor.
What I found out later was that he cheated on me that weekend, in my house, in my bed, in my sheets and had had the absolute disrespect to let me sleep in those sheets.

After I had gone to bed, and found whelks next to the pillow.

He'd been eating them earlier in the day and had laid on the bed watching something on tv while stuffing his face

That was the final straw. All the filth, laziness and disrespect summed up in three slimy seafood bits

Tell me you totally missed the point of this thread without telling me you totally missed the point of this thread 🙄

Whelks? In BED??? OMG!!! That’s utterly putrid. No bloody wonder you left that grub!

May your leaving day be soon. In the meantime reduce any chores which you do only for him if it's safe to do so. Keep your plans close to your vest and just present him with the fait accompli when you're ready. 🌹

Divorce doesn't mean no father in their life, unless the father is too crap to get his act together to see his children....

@AngelinaFibres I'm so sorry. Thank you for sharing, I thought it was just me. I don't allow it anymore but the times he has had sex with me whilst tears stream down my face because of how horrible he has been is too many, just staring at the ceiling.
I hope you have a better life now.

Have some cereal? This would enrage me. He would be living off cereal.
How bloody rude!

At least you could stop waiting on him

He can cook for himself

And wash. And iron

XH went on a stag do abroad for a week, it wasn't really discussed just presented to me, leaving me to look after our 3&4 Yr olds, dog and business. For the week I ran around dropping at nursery/school/grandparents, working a physical job for 8 hours, picking up, walking dog etc. When he arrived back I left work, picked him up from the airport and took him home before going back to work. The DC were at my parents, DM rang me at work to say she was at the house, no one in...rang XH, he'd gone to the pub.

I was absolutely mortified that he hadn't thought to go and collect the dc, that he hadn't seen for a week, had literally dumped his case and gone straight to the pub. It took me another 6 months to leave but the real resentment started then, when I realised what his priorities were

Have you read the OP?

Any of the posts?

Do you not understand the point of this thread?

I have two things that made it clear to me.

The first was I'd made a lovely stew for dinner but had hockey training, so I'd fed the kids and left his in the pan as he came home just as I was going out. Came home after training and he'd eaten the lot and just said he didn't realise I wanted some. 1. There was loads and 2. I always ate when I came home.

Second thing was I was going away with friends, he always hated me having anything for myself, it snowed the day of the trip and he said I shouldn't go because he was worried about me driving to the airport (15 minutes away) I wasn't willing to not go if the flight was going so I said if he was worried about me then he could drive me there, he said no he was wasn't doing that he was staying in bed.

He basically couldn't give a fuck about me, I was just supposed to be there to look after him and the kids! I'm so glad he's now an ExH.

I got married when I was young and dumb to an abusive bastard who used to smack me around, raped me daily and basically controlled me.
My moment came when during my first pregnancy, I was 12 weeks and I woke up in the night to find I was bleeding and in pain.
I woke him up and asked him to call an ambulance.
We didn't have a phone and so it meant going to the phone box a couple of minutes walk away.
He refused.
Then he wouldn't let me go myself until I'd given him a b.j. his words, if you can't fuck it you can suck it.
I eventually managed to call an ambulance, went to the hospital and had the treatment I needed.
I never went home, I left with what I was stood up in and never looked back. Never saw or spoke to him again.
Over forty years later, I still wish he'd die in screaming agony.

I’m happy for you. What was his reaction to you leaving him / splitting up?

I remarried 7 years after my divorce. We celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary this Christmas. My second husband is the loveliest man alive. He brought up my 2 sons who have no contact with their father since all the criminal stuff came to light over the last 4 years. My first husband has just been divorced by his second wife and is in prison for embezzling hundreds of thousands from friends of friends. I'm having a ball as a granny of 2. Him....not so much. He doesn't even know he has a second grandchild.