To ask what your 'glass next to the dishwasher' moment was?

[Rosesareradish]

Or is it the straw that broke the camels back?

I was working today, so I asked DP to get something out of the freezer to defrost for dinner. He was at home with the children, I was working until 6. At lunch time I text to say I would go to Aldi after work so I'd be late home.

I got home at 7.15, I unloaded the car and he put the shopping away. I went for a wee and said goodnight to the children. I then went in to the living room to ask what was for dinner. Nothing! He didn't get anything out of the freezer, he gave the children soup for tea and he had a nice sausage roll he'd bought.

No thought whatsoever to me eating. My irked face probably gave me away and he suggested I have cereal or cook something I'd just bought from Aldi.

AAAARGH.
AIBU to be so annoyed? I would never have left him without dinner after working. Especially if he then went and did the weekly shop afterwards (which he never does anyway..!)

Why are you allowing your life to be so bad ?

My dad died at 3.30am. I'd been lying awake waiting for the call in the spare room. I spoke to my sister, and I went back into our bed and said "He's gone". He said "Oh dear", turned over and went back to sleep. I just assumed he'd been sleep talking but didn't wake him again. In the morning he woke me at 7.30 as we had stuff to do, and said "Have you dealt with it yet?" He had woken up and he had heard. He then spent the morning chatting and laughing with our employee as I cried in the other room.

And he tried to defend himself. He thought that was normal behaviour. Pretty sure when his new girlfriend's mum dies he won't act like that.

Why the hell are you putting up with this twat? Get rid. Your life will be so much better without him.

Going with my sister to talk to my Mother about concerns that they had about me as a parent 😡 We broke up immediately after. He hasn’t seen our DDs in almost six years … it was all too stressful for him.

Disagree, she had asked him to take stuff out the freezer for dinner

My ex did a thousand things that should have made me leave, but the final straw was when I told my two year old DS that it was time to turn the TV off and for us to go upstairs for a bath. As I did, he looked at me with pure contempt and called me a “fucking stupid bitch”.

He looked and sounded just like his father. He’d heard his dad talk to me like that so often, and I knew that second that I needed to find the strength to finally do it. I kicked my ex out the following day.

I asked ExH to cook dinner one night for us and our son, who was about 8 at the time, because I'd be working late. I said best to do something I could heat up easily because I didn't know exactly what time I'd be home. I said please, of course.

The house smelled of fish and chips when I walked through the door. I asked if that's what he'd had for dinner, and he said yes. "What about dinner for me?" I asked. He said he didn't get me any because he did not know what time I'd be home. Yes, I said, that's why I asked you to cook dinner.

So not only did he not cook dinner for me, but he also didn't get me dinner out when he picked up takeaways for him and our child. It was no consequence to him that I was dinner-less

I texted him to say some bad news about my dear aunt who had stage 4 cancer at the time. He sent something nothingy back like “that’s sad”.

Then 4 mins later he text me something sexual.

I mean…. What the fuck. He was a bizarre human being in so many respects.

I should say the below didn’t split us up, but by God did they open my eyes to what women and their bodies go through and vast majority of men have no idea. I’ve brought these occasions up a couple of times when necessary just as a gentle reminder particularly right before we had our second baby a few months ago. Things had to be different this time round!

Day 3 after our first baby arrived, milk day, had zero sleep trying to breastfeed all night. I desperately needed a breast pump to relieve some pressure as baby was struggling to clear it. I was totally unprepared for thr hormones that day. Plus I had an episiotomy so recovering from that.
We went to the shops for a pump, the weather was grim, first few days in December. It was so busy for Christmas and we realised we needed a raincover for the car seat too. We grabbed some food to eat when we got home as by this point it was about 2pm after being stuck in traffic. So as we get home my priority was get everyone in the warm, feed and change the baby as now wet and hungry, get the pump sterilised to clear my engorgement then we sort our food. I didn’t think it needed literally spelling out. Husband walked in the house, put the car seat on the kitchen floor about 4 foot from the back door (again it was sleeting in December and no heating on), made himself a sandwich and promptly sat down and put Turner and Hooch on tv. I’m stood there freezing cold, leaking with extremely painful boobs, baby in a car seat just plonked on the floor, both starving hungry, I was probably massively dehydrated and he laid down on the sofa to watch a film. I was absolutely raging!
I cried feeding the baby, I cried eating my lunch, I cried trying to put the pump together. He looked at me totally flabbergasted and asked why I was so upset. When I explained that it was a horrible day, I was in pain and he just left me to sort both me and baby, his response- “I put Turner and Hooch on for you”. Yeah because that’s what a hormonal new mother and her baby needs fucking Turner and Hooch! I still get the rage whenever I see it’s on and I remind him every time too!

The other time was actually the day after we got home from the hospital, I desperately wanted a bath as not had one since the birth just a shower in the hospital so I went up and had half an hour to myself. As I say I had a ventouse delivery and episiotomy for a stuck 9lb plus baby. As I got out the bath, being day 2 post birth I was obviously still bleeding and hadn’t realised 2 drops of blood had landed on the (laminate) floor. At the time I used our en suite bathroom as mine and husband used the main bathroom (with the bath) as his.
Later that night my husband came to tell me that I had left 2 drops of blood on his bathroom floor but said in a very condescending tone “not to worry as he had cleaned it up for me”. At the time I was mortified. It wasn’t till a bit later I remembered it and thought WTAF not only do I clean all the bathrooms any other time, I’d just pushed/had sucked out, our huge baby, then stitched back together. I was literally black and blue down there. He however had to wipe a drop of blood off the floor and I really should be very grateful for that it seems 😒😒😒😒😒

When my ex used to say how irritated he was by the sound of my son coughing. My son has cystic fibrosis.

It was a broken outdoor table. He was using a disposable BBQ and he placed it on my outdoor glass table. I told him that it would break but as per usual he knew best. He then sheepishly came in the house and told me to come and help him clear up the shattered glass which was now everywhere. I point blank refused and told him he needed to replace it. He then proceeded to tell me very matter of factly that he couldn't replace said table because he had a secret gambling habit and was tens of thousands of pounds in debt and he hadn't been paying the mortgage etc.
Luckily, we weren't financially or legally tied so I could walk away and leave the selfish arsehole, which I did. I still see that broken table as the definitive moment that symbolised our doomed, shattered relationship.

Seems your ex is the douche. I'm a pretty calm person (outwardly) but I would probably have gone feral on him.

He didn't like it if the kids took too long (in his eyes) to put their seatbelts on, even though one buckle was a bit sticky. He'd wait a few seconds then drive off regardless, with everyone shrieking at him and the alarm going off. Normally, everyone was sorted within a few seconds but we'd all be in a mood afterwards. But the day we made it through 3 roundabouts before everyone was buckled up was the last day.

I'm inching closer to the glass by the dishwasher moment almost daily. I've sent 'D'H the article to read to try and understand my perspective.
DD is 4.
He has never packed a bag. Nursery, nappy, swim etc
We both work full time. I earn more if it matters.
He puts petrol in the car. Does the dishes. Empties the bins. That is it.
He goes to the office once or twice a week. Wakes me and DD at 5 am every time. I do every night wake up, every illness. If I go away/work early then I get phone calls that DD won't listen. She's taken to nursery without her hair brushed. Apparently the girls at nursery think it's funny. I'm sure they don't, its embarrassing so I try to make sure I can usually get her ready
But I'm constantly criticising and unhinged if I call him out on eating all of a particular foodstuff when I've counted on it for 3 of us or used all of the petrol in the car or asked him to make mash for dinner. He knows how to make mash but just mashed the potato without butter or yoghurt/milk.

Honestly, I wouldn't lol at that. Valentines be damned. 🥴

Hope you are not stuck with the selfish creep.

I had quite a few 'glass next to the dishwasher moments' with my ex'D'H but this particular doozy sticks in my mind (warning - mentions dog poo).
I had had a fantastic night out with friends to celebrate my birthday the following day (so my birthday was on the day I arrived back home, if you see what I mean).
I walked in to find the place in a tip, his takeaway cartons, empty wine boxes strewn everywhere ... and a large splat of fresh diarrhea (courtesy of my dog) on the carpet. To add insult to injury there was no birthday card nor even so much as a box of Maltesers as a gift for me either.
When I asked why he'd just left the poo there he replied, in all seriousness, that he was 'waiting for it to dry' before he cleaned it up (trust me, he was <never> going to clean it up).
So I spent that birthday scrubbing sh*t out of the lounge carpet.
We're no longer together😊

I mean he fed the kids right ??? Do you hear yourself?
Tell me you are saddled with a man baby that doesn't want a wife but a mother without telling me 😐

Yeah literally nothing funny here and first child indicates she went on to have more children with the village idiot

@neilyoungismyhero you didn't deserve him saying that to you.😔

🤢

As I think the OP has since pointed out herself she had SPECIFICALLY asked DP to TAKE SOMETHING OUT OF THE FREEZER, presumably clearly and in English if that is his chosen language?! 🙄This is just another perfect example of men's convenient but extremely annoying habit of using 'selective' hearing and/or memory, and often both at the same time!! 😡

@TheTimeIsNowMaybeNow

Well it's council and his house as well so I didn't fancy antagonising things and him moving back in !

He's moved to Ireland now though so no chance of that anymore

Have you removed his name from the lease/contract now? He sounds the sort of person who'd do whatever would inconvenience you most if he ever came back. 🌹

Wow. Hope you had words with your sister also! 🌞

YANBU to be annoyed/ upset by this, but it's entirely how he behaves afterwards that would swing it for me. Everyone makes mistakes and forgets things sometimes. Was he apologetic and did he recognise that it was crap of him to leave you without anything to eat? Or did he just shrug it off?

@Newestname002 He knew we were reaching the end of the road and he was just building his army against me. Pretty standard narc behaviour sadly. My sister - sibling rivalry gone mad. Nothing new to see there either. We have been NC ever since … there’s nothing really to say after that kind of behaviour. Life is better without the haters. I have a lovely new husband. My DDs are happy and healthy and I’m just grateful I was strong enough to walk away …