To ask what your 'glass next to the dishwasher' moment was?

[Rosesareradish]

Or is it the straw that broke the camels back?

I was working today, so I asked DP to get something out of the freezer to defrost for dinner. He was at home with the children, I was working until 6. At lunch time I text to say I would go to Aldi after work so I'd be late home.

I got home at 7.15, I unloaded the car and he put the shopping away. I went for a wee and said goodnight to the children. I then went in to the living room to ask what was for dinner. Nothing! He didn't get anything out of the freezer, he gave the children soup for tea and he had a nice sausage roll he'd bought.

No thought whatsoever to me eating. My irked face probably gave me away and he suggested I have cereal or cook something I'd just bought from Aldi.

AAAARGH.
AIBU to be so annoyed? I would never have left him without dinner after working. Especially if he then went and did the weekly shop afterwards (which he never does anyway..!)

Bet he opened a tin...

He was specifically asked to defrost something for dinner

If you were at home, I bet you'd cook for everyone

When DS was a baby and we'd gone out for a meal with his dad and step mum and we were going home. I was getting DS in the car seat, folding the pram etc and he stood talking to his dad, his dad even said 'you can help you know' I stayed another 12 years unfortunately and had another 2 DC for which he never got up once in the night or did anything.

I spoke so many times to him about wanting a partnership but he never got it. He thought doing the bathrooms and bins once a week was a partnership. I had friends tell me how lazy he was etc. I was the main earner and still did 90% of everything.

Oddly enough when we split he told everyone he did everything and was just a glorified babysitter so I could go out with my friends which is laughable.

More fool you, no one ones a martyr!

If I've had to go food shopping after work, my DH would've cooked for us all and not expected me to chuck a salad together, eat a shitty ready meal or do something low effort.

He'd be appreciative that I'd gone shopping and make sure he'd cooked for her.

You clearly are a martyr and a fool.

Good for you for saying that to your father.

The other day it was raining, drizzle wet stuff. I saw a woman with a pram and as I parked my car, a car came up alongside her and stopped. It was her partner to take her and the baby home. Just a lovely moment.

I’m amazed at the comments about being more specific! The op’s husband is perfectly capable of feeding himself and the dc but needs clear instructions to remind him his wife needs food? God, your standards are low. Even if he’d messaged “while at the shop can you pick up something for your dinner? - dc fed and I’ve finished off the sausage roll that needs eating. Or I could pop some pasta in the pan. Let me know what you fancy.” It’s not hard to not be a selfish prick.

My first serious boyfriend. One night we sat on the sofa together, watching TV, when he told me to get up and fetch him a beer from the fridge.

I had seen him interact with his mum before and knew he had no respect for her, at that moment I knew he had no respect for me either. I broke up with him soon after.

Please stop being perfectly reasonable and expecting husbands to do the same.....

I mean the OP should be eternally grateful that he managed to feed his children.

He serves a wife that does much more for him!

My exhusband treated me with progressive levels of distance and distain. I've posted about a few things earlier on this thread. I had thought, when he left me, that his girlfriend, then wife, was getting a much better deal than I had had. He always liked to tell me how happy he was now he was with her. She divorced him last summer. He had told her many things about our divorce ,including the 'fact' that he had had ton divorce me because of my mental health issues. I sent her a picture of the divorce petition showing that I had divorced him. He had 2 children with me and a further child with second wife. When her daughter was born she needed to be in special care for a couple of nights. Then mother and new baby were allowed home. She texted my exhusband and said he could collect them. No reply. No response to calls and texts for hours. In the end she got a taxi home . He called her from a cell in their local police station. He had gone to the pub as soon as it opened and got very very drunk ( presumably because he hadn't been able to cope with being a dad to the first 2 and now he was trapped doing it again) Someone had seen him get in his car at the pub and called the police. They arrested him and he had to stay in the cells until he was sober. He was banned from driving for 2 years and fined £5,000. He had to tell me about the ban because he could no longer pick up our children. He lied and said it was for speeding. Still bad , but, in his mind, less bad. Turns out he was just as much of a shit to her as he was to me.

Years ago,I was a tad bit bigger than I am now (I went up to a size 22 when I'm normally a 14)

It was about the time mika and the song 'big girl,you are beautiful' was in the charts

My ex knew he was punching above his weight with me,and had been negging me for a while

He was also a cocklodger-thankfully we didn't live together-he didn't have a job-he seemed to think that because I did,I should pay his way

We walked into mcdonalds and as I went to order,he stood just behind me singing (loudly) 'big girl,you are fat as fuck,standing up in maccy d's,counting out your 50p's...'

I'll never forget the look on the servers face and I just thought 'fuck this' and walked out

He was more upset about his free food walking out of the door than he was about losing me

He still tells everyone that our child isn't his and I was 'too sensitive'

When my exhusband left me he said " You are physically repulsive. Having sex with you makes my flesh crawl". Men are such peaches sometimes aren't they.

Of course there's bloody more to it! That's the whole point of the thread.
Don't pick apart the 'final straw' moment of these stories. On their own they would all seem petty or like the poster has over reacted. But the whole point is they are the last straw of a very long history of shitty behaviour.

Many years ago my partner's gran, who had been widowed 20 years before, said to me "I wouldn't have another man if he was gift wrapped". It made me laugh at the time. Now I know what she means. And my other half is nowhere near as useless/awful as most of the examples on this thread.

Same here. I've been with current partner a long time, but should we break up, I'll be happy to be alone. Every day I read something on here that I'm appalled by, I could never be treated like these men treat their partners. I could never treat anyone like these men treat their partners.
I would end up with a lot of bodies under the patio, jk btw.

For the poster who's husband criticised her cooking, I would prefer to live alone and penniless than put up with that.
While you plan your escape, and you really should escape, if you must cook for him, make it plain, boring and easy. If possible the exact same meal, every night, no changes. Make it cheap too then you can save money to get out quicker.

When my partner cheated on me, he said it was my fault because it was my friend he cheated with. He also said he didn't know why i was overreacting and causing a 'drama' because he didn't get hard, which showed how much he cared about me.

Amusing tale now (and sad memory, too). I had surgery on my foot 17 years ago and needed a crutch to walk i.e. hop. DH made lunch and brought it in. When I said 'where's mine' he looked at me as if I had two heads. It had not occurred to him to make me lunch as I usually made my own - hoppity-hoppity with a plate of food had not occurred to him either. To do DH justice he gave me his lunch and went off to get something else. He also cooked a lot and was more imaginative than me as to meals.

You clearly are a martyr and a fool?!!!

Well, aren't you nice! Some people either have to put up with lots of crap or are trying hard to find the redeeming qualities of the man they thought they loved, so no need to pile on just because the poster didn't immediately leave.

My BIL had an affair with SILs best friend. SIL was mid fifties and struggling with menopause. Her friend was early forties and not in menopause yet so ,according to BIL, it was SILs fault. He left her and moved into a rented flat with her best friend ( who had left her husband and children). He asked SIL not to tell her family and to pretend all was well ( share a room with him) as they were going on a family and friends holiday the following week and he didn't want to miss it. After a few weeks OW realised what a pompous twat he was and went back to her husband. BIL turned up at the marital home with a suitcase . He didn't even attempt to apologise or tell her he'd been a fool, and beg her to take him back, because he truly loved her. Oh no. He just said that 'Jane' had gone back to her husband and he didn't fancy living in the flat on his own so he was coming home. He didn't get the outcome he had hoped for.

40 years later df is old and lonely and dm is old and happy. We do visit df but he believes that his dc should offer him a permanent home!
Once in frustration I told him he should have thought of that before he f####d off with ow. Not my finest moment.

I disagree - I think that was a very fine moment, telling him the truth, @Tilleuil. He deserved to hear it while he contemplates the life he threw away. And definitely no offer of housing this useless lump from any of the family he abandoned.

@CleansUpButWouldPreferNotTo WTF? I'm
responding to the poster victim blaming the OP!

Her expectations are so fucking low it's untrue!

She can take that shit and be a martyr if she wants, but she doesn't get to blame the OP for not liking the situation that happened.

I'm nice ok, I don't expect people to victim blame, you may advocate for men behaving like that, I don't and I won't!

He punched a kettle over and over again because someone said something that made him self concious and he waited until we were in the house before he exploded. He had done it many times before and rather than being terrified of him, I just saw him as pathetic.

I don't advocate for useless men - but neither do I use such nasty language and then when I get called on it, respond with 'I'm nice ok'.

That's pretty lax. Does he usually just eat whatever he likes and then you cook your own meal separately? If all he was to do was take something out the freezer then I'd be pretty annoyed. I guess if you went to Aldi you did have something new you could make? But the freezer thing was hours before he knew you were going to Aldi....yeah, he messed up.
You should have said alright then, no worries, I'll just oder a pizza on your Deliveroo account/card instead! Haha.
I'd definitely skip cooking for him/ making him any food for a good few days in protest too.

@CleansUpButWouldPreferNotTo sorry my first post saying shitty ready meal offended you, you may like them, I don't! They're totally shit, but you enjoy!

Don't you dare expect the poor man to have made a meal..... especially as he wax looking after the children as well

Such low standards, glad OP is seeing the reality.

Can I mention one in relation to a friend, rather than a partner. My moment was when she asked me if I could look after her kid, so she can go out to watch the England match with MY boyfriend.

Can't stand ready meals... No, it was you calling someone a martyr and a fool that I objected to.