Boys dominating the playground

[Namechangeforthiss]

I’ve noticed at DD’s school the enclosed, paved playground is quite dominated by boys playing their (rough!) games in the middle. Meanwhile the girls mill around the edges, seemingly a bit nervous to even cross it, let alone join in. I’ve noticed the boys also seem to feel more ‘entitled’ to play equipment as well as the playground space and will be quite rough and jostle past if a girl tries to play on it.

Do you think playgrounds should be halved, not to segregate by sex (and both sexes should be encouraged to join in any game they want) but to save some space for children who want to play less physical/rough games?

Feel free to tell me I’m being precious! (I have a son as well, not smug girl mum complaining about boys, but he’s only 1!).

Have you made your suggestions to the school?

Is this before/after school? Or do you work at the school so see them at break and lunchtime?

No, checking on here I wouldn’t sound ridiculous first!

It's another reason that I think all schools should be single sex. Girls have much much better outcomes in all girls schools. This insidious expectation that they need to relinquish any shared space or area to boys is part of the reason girls to less well in co-ed schools.

When do you see this happening? All years?

If you have evidence that this is happening regularly then speak to the school about it.

I can remember British Bulldog being banned at my primary school, but all the girls and boys were as equally rowdy as each other!

I don't know what the answer is but I would definitely bring this up with school. I would talk to DD about it first though and see what her experiences of it are (using open ended questions about who plays on the equipment etc).

You may get many defensive replies on here about how people demonise boys bit this is not about the boys themselves it's about the attitude of the adults around the boys.

Key stage 1 have their own playground, so I can’t comment on the others. But it got me thinking about my own experience at school which was pretty similar, boys dominating the main space for their games of football while the girls sort of hung around the ages without much space to play themselves.

My children's primary had a ball cage for ball games. Depends if there's room for that though. I think it's a valid point to mention to the school.

Look up the urban architect in Barcelona who planned public spaces based on research into exactly this.

It is a reasonable observation, OP.

Sometimes it's down to lack of funding. At DS' school there are table tennis tables, supervised by staff, and the students play on a rota at break so that everyone who wants to gets an equal chance. They also play mixed basketball, supervised / organised by staff, but not every break (they want to prioritise more sociable activities where students can speak to each other). They also have stuff like hula hoops, skipping ropes that everyone is encouraged to use, but all of it is staffed which I feel is really lucky.

I asked above about when you see this? At drop off and pick up our children are left to their own devices but at break and lunchtime there are more designated spaces for different groups of children and organised games etc. But the parents wouldn’t see this, only the unstructured stuff.

Please do mention it. My dc primary school was large enough and new enough and lucky enough to have a fenced-in MUGA - so all the footballers headed there, while the actual playground was left for everyone else. So much better than what you describe, which is highly reminiscent of my 70s schooldays! We should have moved on from that by now.

There is a great group who looks at the issues around space for teenage girls - I'm sure the same applies for younger. www.makespaceforgirls.co.uk/

I think dividing into two is a great idea. If you suggest it I'd talk about children who want more physical play and those who want a quieter area though rather than mentioning boys and girls.

What age is your daughter?

I agree wholeheartedly as a mum of a gentler boy. But I just don't know how you'd designate half a play ground for rough/speedy antics and the other half for gentler play. Is there an empty space as well? I'd love a solution to this because having seen their lunchtime play once or twice it's chaotic- 4 classes so 120 boys give or take- 3 teachers supervising and you couldn't follow what's going on. It would be great to have a running area more physical area etc but then than limits play as well.

The thing is though that most boys need the opportunity to play physical games between lessons; they tend to have a lot more excess energy than girls. I'm a parent reader, and some of the boys are so fidgety! Whereas a lot of girls prefer chatting, climbing, cartwheels etc., which require less space. And boys are being demonised; they get told off for just being alive it seems, just because they have a lesser tendency to sit still and draw nicely for hours.

I don’t think you should segregate by sex, but I absolutely think the playground should be divided in to part for fast/rough games and part for quieter games.

Simultaneously I’d encourage girls to be boisterous if they want to be, and teach boys to be mindful of how they impact on others.

Have a look at Make Space for Girls. It's about public parks etc rather than school playgrounds as far as I'm aware, but very relevant. https://www.makespaceforgirls.co.uk/resources/make-space-for-us
There are ways to design spaces to be more appealing to girls, and there is research that would likely be relevant if you wanted to get in touch with the school.

Who demonises boys and tells them off for being alive?! I would have told my DSs off for behaving inappropriately to the situation and environment, or being inconsiderate in a way that could hurt or intimidate others but thats basic social skills, not a challenge to their existance. If the behaviour of many grown men is anything to go by, I think we've probably done far too little of that rather than too much.

I remember being in year 2 on the infant playground and the year one boys used to tear around, screaming with their hoods on their heads being superheroes. I was quite athletic and confident but I was terrified of these boys and getting caught in the crossfire so I stayed next to the teacher at the edge of the playground most breaks. Luckily the junior playground was massive and there was no issue there.

I would say something to the school. I remember feeling quite stressed about playtimes sometimes and it’s not nice. They should separate it into quiet and busier play zones perhaps.

Girls need space and boys need space. And girlsandboys need space too. It is not about restricting one it's about everyone having the space they need without impinging on others. By some means it is communicated to boys that their right to space trumps girls' and that communication needs to be altered somehow.

I agree that it would be beneficial to have areas where different types of play were encouraged, but I don't think you should look at things in terms of actual space.

Some children enjoy play that takes up lots of space, say chase type games as a group or doing cartwheels, ball games etc
Others enjoy games that don't require that much space, ping pong, swings, sitting and chatting.
We don't need to divide the space so those that play chess get exactly the same space as those who play football. We need to try and make room for everyone.

I'd say that it's more of a "more popular" verses "less popular" game space allocation difficulty rather than boys versus girls, especially at primary school.
When you get 10 children who want to play a certain playground activity , then proportionally they are going to need more room and more time.
So if two children want to play frisbee and need the room, they should be able to do it occasionally, but not as much at the 12 that want to play football, because it is making more children happy for more of the time.

If you had an all girls school it would still be divided the same way, with those wanting to play a popular playground sport having more room than those who liked a less popular one.

How do you manage to observe the children playing so much?

Most primary schools around here have 'quiet areas' where both boys and girls can go to read, or play quiet games.

I wouldn't suggest any more segregation than that.

You absolutely should raise it- this is the beginning of the acceptance that girls will always be squeezed out of leisure spaces and that’s just the way it is. You will almost certainly get a load of defensive bluster about how it’s about making space for football and girls are welcome to play, but we know that’s not true, and it matters.

I listened to a podcast about this issue a couple of years ago. I'm going to try to provide the link here, in case it doesn't work it's called "visible women" & the episode is called "can playgrounds be sexist"

podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/visible-women-with-caroline-criado-perez/id1627229311?i=1000567285700