to be fed up with homophobia on MN

[smittenkitten]

today there was the thread about being 'uncomfortable' with a secondary school telling kids it's OK to be gay. a short while ago there was a post about someone being freaked out by two women kissing on a bus.

calling it being 'uncomfortable' is still homophobia. we wouldn't tolerate racism on here - imagine "i'm concerned that my DC's school wants to say it's OK to be black". the OP would be rightly slammed, but instead the queers on MN have to put up with people defending bigotry saying that people are entitled to have a POV etc.

Freedom of speech does not include the right to victimise and marginalise others for their race, religion, sexuality, age or other irrelevant attributes. I don't think its unreasonable to want MN to be a safe space where we don't have to deal with homophobia.

My attitude on that thread was that I DO have a problem with people snogging in public BUT couldn't care less what sex they are/were as long as they don't SNOG IN PUBLIC.. Not sure why I am so offencive or do you mean offensive?

.....and gets kicked straight back out.

actually, this was the thread title and OP.

"What are your views on people of the same sex kissing in public? (223 messages)

By StressedAnnie on Mon 11-Feb-08 11:08:11
Namechanged as a bit embarassed. Caught the bus into town this morning with DC's and 2 young women were snogging openly on a very packed bus with lots of kids on shock. I don't want to come across as a Prude but I really don't want my DC's to witness this kind of behaviour whether the couple were heterosexual or gay.

DD was staring at them and I was trying to get her to look out of the window by saying "look at those trees, flowers, etc. I felt really uncomfortable and embarrassed. I am surprised no one said anything to them tbh. We got off the bus before them so not sure if someone said anything to them."

some people aren't comfortable with the matter of sexuality, for a zillion different reasons, it doesn't mean that they're evil imo, just that they don't have terribly broad horizons.
as i said before, my folks were no doubt prejudiced until they Actually Met A Gay Person. and then they weren't, which is just as it should be. and you know what, if i was white and in London as Windrush was putting its passengers onto the quayside i'd probably have been prejudiced, Until I Met A West Indian, and then i wouldn't have been.

people only know what they know, until such times as they know more. we are not fixed, immutable beings, we learn. but our hearts need to remain open to learning and the surest way to close them tight shut is to rant spittle-flecked in their faces about how shit they are for feeling the way they do.

nah, JV, the lezzer stuff is crappy imo. beneath you. [spittle-flecked]

Are you coming on to me?

"what i saw this morning were so many people fighting to show how 'right on' they were that they forgot that the idea is to bring people with you, not to bully them into holding even more entrenched views. "

are you talking about my posts Aitch? I didn't see anyone else getting cross on that thread when you first posted about bullying or what have you

I lost my rag about that thread and then apologised for being rude. Was your opinion that I did it deliberately to show how right on I was?

(I just made myself laugh far more than is socially acceptable)

almost certainly.

to add my bit to this current thread, I have not noticed MN being particularly or even mildly homophobic in general, but we all have different perceptions of these things

I saw the two threads mentioned so far but would have said they were isolated and not any kind of trend or anything

Yup, still got it....

(not that they need smoothing, you understand.)

franny there had been plenty of people going well over the top imo before you posted. in fact i'm not even sure i saw yours before i posted mine, so no, i wasn't referring to you. it did seem to me that there was a big wave of disapproval before anyone had so much as bothered to ask the OP if she actually knew any gay people...

Didn't see what Franny posted, but if someone is irritated by homophobia - even if it's of a relatively innocent kind - they're entitled to express it, aren't they? MN isn't all about pastoral care, unless I've missed a memo.

JV it's your turn to post something pompous.

was there Aitch? I didn't see them, then
I had a touch of the red mists at the time which doesn't always contribute to reading a thread properly

god have just wandered in feeling dazed from that ear piercing thread
am wondering if I am quite robust enough for MN tonight

[Stage fright]

Quick JV, for the love of zonk, think....

()()

we've been here before, but just look how pointy they are!!

true, they are PW, but my impression overall was that people were responding more to the tone of irritation of the PP than they were to the question of the OP, iykwim? i am more than irritated, by the way, when i come across homophobia but i think it's best to wait until it is actually expressed before tearing someone a new arsehole. the OP kept saying how she hadn't really said what she meant to in her OP but MN was on a roll by that point, so no-one was reading.
i mean, people were telling her that her children would leave her etc and all the poor woman had said was 'how do you lot feel about the idea of a school talk about it being 'okay to be gay'?

Dear God, my nipples have fallen off.

There they are

at JV's tits. Had your surgeon been at the sherry again?

Ah, OK Aitch, didn't read thread cos it was massive by the time I got to it, and I do like a nice fresh thread.

One of my pet peeves on here (and sometimes IRL) is getting accused of saying something 'to be PC', when in fact I'm just saying something because I believe it. People do seem to forget that a lot of people hold attitudes that are deemed 'PC' out of real conviction, not because they have a deep need to win the approval of Linda Bellos. But this is getting way off-topic...

Aitch. I read the OP on the school thread more as being uncomfortable that her child had got to the age that sex and relationship stuff was being discussed with her 'baby.'

And I can relate to that totally. My 10.5 ear old is growing up and, though I love the fact that he is turning into a young man - I also mourn the passing of our years of being his life compass.

yes, i'd agree with you there actually and i don't think i've ever said it before In My Life tbh, i'm much more likely to be on the receiving end of a comment like that than to say it. but it was all a bit screamy and off imo, given the 'crime' in the first place. the OP has kids under school age, i'm sure she doesn't have a fucking clue how switched-in 12 year olds are. once the thread calmed down a bit peanutbutter came on and said that parents had leafleted her C of E school to prevent them having this gay discussion thing, which is more shocking and depressing than anything the OP came up with.

JV always getting her tits out!. (and then later nipples) And on a homophobia thread too, right on.

It'll be mostly just my nipples from now on though, Boco. I can just fetch them out my pocket...

(watery smile)

that last post to PW, btw.

dd's only two, bubble, it's all going SO FAST, my baby... i think that the OP was wobbly about it because she doesn't know any gay people (so far as she is aware) and is a bit freaked, tbh, but it didn't turn into the kind of thread that would help a person in that position, rather allowed everyone to exercise their rant muscles for the day.