Performance parents

[Maryquitecontrarymary]

Am I the only one who is irritated like hell around these people?
At airport waiting to board flight. Couple infront with 2 kids who seemed to want everyone to know what fun they are and how much banter they have together as a family. "Oh look at us, look how fun we are, look how great we get on with our kids".
Try to ignore but it's impossible as they are so loud and they are constantly looking around as though to see who is watching and listening, so you have to make sure you don't look their way or make eye contact.
Oh and guess where they happen to be sitting? Yep you guessed it, right behind us. I swear the whole flight could hear them and only them. The woman had a gob like a foghorn and seemed to swing between being performance banter mum and having a go at her husband. Even ear plugs couldn't drown them out.
I'm surprised these people don't exhaust themselves with their performances

we’d get on in RL

i really like this post

and i’ve done exactly the same! dealing with a tantrum in a calm way “perfect” parenting way when inside i’m fuming!!

For goodness' sake, nobody does this kind of thing for the benefit of other people.

Put in some earphones if you have an issue. Nobody has the right to perfect peace and quiet in airport.

Years ago I was stuck on a busy tube on the morning commute and there was a father trying to get his young son to conjugate French verbs. The poor kid was mortified as he was being hackled by his dad to practice his French in front of a packed train.

"Come on Charlie...if you dont practice how will you learn"

"But I dont want to"

"Come on.. what is 'I eat"

"But I dont wan to"

"Its simple, come on"

"Ermmmm.......je mange"

"And past tense"

"I dont want to daddy"

"Come on...you can do it"

"j’ ai mangé"

"See, you can do it you are just being lazy"

Some wag at the back of the carriage then shouted out:

"What is French for my father is a twat"

Cue lots of laughter.

Sorry but there is a definite type of parent who will go out of their way to demonstrate to other parents just how 'ever so bright for their age' or how 'ahead of the curve' their kids are compared to others.

agree to disagree. Anyone near Farnham? Alice Holt? there were pirate ships and 3D mazes that were so full of Dads Playing With Their Kids that the actual kids could barely move on them.

TARQUIN? TARQUIN! LOOK HOW HIGH UP DADDY IS, CAN YOU CLIMB THIS HIGH?
COME ON HUGO! JOIN IN, TARQUIN IS GOING TO BEAT YOU.

RAH RAH RAH

My own DH has a DC who was prone to that excruciating Posh Kid volume on the beach when we were on holiday.

My own DH has a DC who was prone to that excruciating Posh Kid volume on the beach when we were on holiday.

confused. Your step son as a child? or step son as an adult father?

Honestly, at this point in time I'm just surprised you're not taking earplugs or noise cancelling into a plane with you. There will always be a loud person or a baby screaming.

Love it.

Visit Oxford to see performative parenting. Locals smug middle classes.

There it can be found in the covered market: Leave the stuff alone if you are not buying! Businesses not part of a theme park.
On bicycles, riding and herding little kids wobbling over junctions in front of busses.
In changing rooms anywhere no discipline when kids comment "that lady if fat isn't she mummy"

The voice annoys me. Why do people talk to their children in that twee sing song voice like they’re reading End Blyton out loud in the 1950s.

You can just use your normal voice and your kids will still understand you.

Do they use that voice all the time, even when they’re indoors and alone with their children? At what age are their children when they decide to ditch the voice and speak normally- when they are teens or adults - or never?

Love the idea of a over excited adult skipping around the garden…alone🤣

Clearly i’ve been living under a rock as i’ve never heard of performance parenting?!

Wouldn’t you just assume that maybe the banter was actually just banter and a family having a nice time together?

I’m now paranoid that having a laugh with DH or kids in public is going to get me posted about on here 😂🤦‍♀️

As if we don’t already have enough to worry about - I was already questioning myself after the gentle parenting thread earlier 😂

All these people frothing at the mouth who have completely missed the point that is wasn't about them having fun or being a little loud. It was the performance style looking around to check who was going to join in and admire how hilarious they are. There was nothing self conscious or anxious about their behaviour. Laughing, joking, having fun amongst themselves and being a bit loud, one thing. Constantly trying to make eye contact with other people and direct their jokes to an audience is another.
It wasn't anxious looking around, believe me, it was very obviously about validation.
I never expected silence. Get a grip. Every other passenger managed not to draw attention to themselves and not a single other passenger bothered me, so the problem is hardly me and my intolerance.
Oh and by the way, the kids weren't toddlers, so hardly needed distracting either.
And I HAD EAR PLUGS IN but this still didn't drown them out, to the people who clearly can't read

Clearly i’ve been living under a rock as i’ve never heard of performance parenting?!

Welcome out from under your rock! 😃

Arseholes. All top show. Bet the reality is quite different. That’s what I generally find. “Look at us, we’re so happy” Really? Piss off with your bullshit.

😂

Knobhead. Who wants to hear all that

OP taking projection to the next level with the ‘frothing at the mouth’ comment. Yep, anyone who disagrees with you is furious, you’re definitely not the one raging about some parents having fun with their kids on holiday.

There was a woman in Tesco the other day with a kid in the trolley. She was deferring to the kid on which items to buy? Why? He was about two. All for show and unfortunately they were in every aisle I went down. Fuck me, here they are again.

Research has shown that humans have evolved to do this automatically without being conscious of it ie they change the way they talk to small children. It's known as motherese. The research also found that this is the optimum way to speak to small children to help their development. I have noticed thst when I speak to my kids thr way i speak changes slightly..it's weird now that I'm conscious of it but I also can't change it easily. Not that I need to. I hope though I won't be speaking to then like this when they are adults...

I didn't rage in my post in the slightest. But some of the replies on here are quite frothing. Quite a large number of the people who disagree with me also quite clearly didn't read properly or completely missed the point too.
Anyway, everyone is different and fully expect people to disagree. That's normal

Huh? I do this. Mostly to get my toddler involved and so he doesn't throw a tantrum, eg I ask him if he wants raspberries or blueberries or something inconsequential like that.

I don't go to tesco but if you see someone doing it in sainsbury's or aldi it's probably me. Or one of the other million parents who do this.

OP’s point isn’t criticising parents engaging with their kids it’s about being irritated when that engagement is obviously fake and “performed” for the benefit of those around them

Again, I don't understand how people can be so arrogant and self centred to think thst parents behave in a certain way to impress them. Parenting is hard enough without putting up a performance for the benefit of strangers.

I also note that you either can't read or have chosen to completely miss the point too, as you have also surmised this as being solely about "parents having fun with their kids on holiday" and ignored the performance part