Performance parents

[Maryquitecontrarymary]

Am I the only one who is irritated like hell around these people?
At airport waiting to board flight. Couple infront with 2 kids who seemed to want everyone to know what fun they are and how much banter they have together as a family. "Oh look at us, look how fun we are, look how great we get on with our kids".
Try to ignore but it's impossible as they are so loud and they are constantly looking around as though to see who is watching and listening, so you have to make sure you don't look their way or make eye contact.
Oh and guess where they happen to be sitting? Yep you guessed it, right behind us. I swear the whole flight could hear them and only them. The woman had a gob like a foghorn and seemed to swing between being performance banter mum and having a go at her husband. Even ear plugs couldn't drown them out.
I'm surprised these people don't exhaust themselves with their performances

People have been known to take kids out of school during term time you know

they weren’t that much of a performance parent in that case! 😂

seriously though Op

what is going on in your life that within 24 hours you start TWO threads about different aspects of parenting that is seriously pissing you off?

@Maryquitecontrarymary
I know exactly what you mean as do most of the general public which is why when one of these families are doing this in a queue/public transport everyone starts side eyeing each other or rolling their eyes with the people they're with.

Or plot twist ... some people behave and act differently to you.

Yes that's exactly what we and couple of other families were doing

sitting quietly obviously judging them !

I mean, maybe they are speaking more loudly than usual, but I can't be the only person who is tired sometimes and is just doing my best so probably doesn't sound entirely natural when trying to engage my child in, for example, the queue for the plane. It seems you can't quite get it right - leave them get bored and whiny or inclined to run around and they're horrible little monsters with dreadful parents. Grit your teeth through trying to engage when you're tired yourself and you're putting on a performance.

Sometimes minding your own business is OK. They're not harming you.

Erm perhaps it was because cos 2 things pissed me off? Things that have pissed me off many times before and it was a bit of an icing on the cake situation and was interested in what other people thought?
You seem very angry towards me
Feel free to just offer your opinion and then move on. No need to keep coming at me

Yeah I don't get this? Bit narcissistic to think everyone is doing everything solely for your approval??

@Maryquitecontrarymary so what were they actually saying/doing?

It's all very vague really.

Ah thanks for feeling for me. Really appreciate it

Did you at least enjoy the holiday?! if that’s why you were travelling?

Hoping this was on the way out.

If it was on the way home… you need another holiday asap

(in fact.. on basis of your two ongoing threads- you could do with one now! 😂 )

I know exactly what you mean OP. Before I realised there was a phrase ‘performance parenting’, I used to call it ‘running commentary parents. Who had to talk very loudly to their children about their planned activities for the day and what healthy food they were going to eat. In my experience, it was mainly middle-class Dads but I am sure it is a behaviour that encompasses all groups.

I fully engaged with my children but at a normal volume. Because I knew that they were the only ones that had to hear me, not the entire playground.

I don’t know, do some people just have Very Loud Voices?

This was more of a mum takes piss out of dad to the kids banter type thing. And then taking the piss out of the kids to the dad. Like trying to make the kids laugh. I cant remember at all what the actual jokes were. The joking in itself was fine, that's what families do. It was the volume and the constant looking around trying to make eye contact with people as they were doing it. It was like they were surveying the audience to see who was laughing and thinking how hilarious they were. Except they weren't really funny at all and no one was engaging. Then full volume on the plane for hours too, when they woman wasn't having a go at her husband for something that is.

Was trying to mind my own business but wasn't getting any form of peace and quiet to do so 😂

Sounds like toxic femininity, degrading her husband in front of her children and an audience.

but you are at what I assume on a busy plane at a busy airport what sort of peace are you expecting.

The same peace that every other passenger around me gave. Just having quiet conversations amongst themselves without bothering anyone else.
The same experience I've had every other time I've flown

And there is a massive difference between general chat around you and having your ears assaulted for hours by a foghorn voice and shouting

No it’s not. You know performance parenting when you see it! It’s LOUD and boastful. It can be comedy gold or incredibly irritating depending on circumstances.

I just say to them do you realise how loudly your talking use your inside voice seems to do the trick

Tbh these posts tend to bring out the performance parents, fiercely defending the trend 🙈

But I agree with you. I'm in childcare and the Performance Childcarer is just as irritating.

Everyone on a plane irritates me that’s why I avoid them!

Kids especially.

Yes, in a performative way