I’m literally begging you - help

[Hellllppppmmeeee]

wise Mnetters I’m literally begging you to help me decide my life.

would you take a job that paid 50k decent benefits but in the office 3 days a week. More senior position

or

one that paid 45k one day in the office, more jnr position, so a bit of a career back step.

after tax there is £150 a month in it (not factoring commuting costs)

I’ve had a bad experience with work lately and honestly I’m frozen decision wise

no mention of pension and benefits?

for what reason did you leave previous job?

Well it’s not much of a salary difference so I’d do the £45k role, less stress and pressure and expectations… Also what is the difference with benefits? Plus if £45k is for a more junior role if there is a chance for progression at that place then when you get a more senior role you’ll probably get more than £50k for it! Plus you save time with travel unless you really like going to the office…

So for less than £25 a week after the travel costs are taken out @Hellllppppmmeeee , you'll have a more stressful role plus the annoyance of having to work in the office more often (assuming you see it as an annoyance.)

Well done you! Higher paid job sounds like the best option for you. Your DH will also have to figure things out at home. The kids belong to you both!
I'm sure you will be great at the new job.

For what it's worth, I quit a really toxic work situation last year. Took a couple of months out, as I was utterly broken by it, and the appalling management involved. I have started a new job, at the same salary, elsewhere in my industry. It's so much easier, and the team/manager are lovely. Honestly, sometimes it takes you leaving a situation, before you realise how bad it was.
Good luck.

Personally if I had to decide between them, I’d go with the one where I remote more as the cost of commuting and wraparound care will swallow the pay rise. Mentally if I have enough of a balance of challenging but not too challenging that it overtakes all my brain capacity, I’m a better parent once I switch the computer off for the day

The higher paid one purely because I am presuming it will have a more senior job title and the salary with the benefits equal on paper a much higher overall salary. (Even if it is only £5k difference)

Then if you do decide to apply for a more senior/higher salaried job at any point the next company won’t dismiss your CV out of hand if you are already have a certain job title and salary and the next step up won’t look too adrift from a natural progression

Yay. Glad you made a decision. Well done on getting 2 great sounding job offers.

The 50k job seems to be working hard to accommodate you - now 2 days per week (after an initial few weeks in the office, yes?) and flexi hours to avoid the rush hour. They sound really encouraging and keen to have you on board.

When do you start?

I think you need to calm down before making the decisions.

Thank them for their offers. Say you need time to think and you’ll come back to them Monday morning. Speak to your husband.

It’s going to be super outing, so I’ll skim, mass layoffs and how they treated people like the shit off your shoe, mental games and then snr leadership laughing at those affected to those unaffected, it felt heinous to me so I asked to be made redundant they begrudgingly said yes as they needed my skills but were making mass cuts so hard to say no.

pension 13% in 50k and 12 in 45

bonus 10% in 45 and 15 in 50
50 is a more desirable field too

For me it would depend if I had any interest in progressing up from the senior role, if yes then yes, if no id rather take the lower paid job, less commute and less stress. But you might have more ambition than I do!

That’s fairly normal. I’d definitely take the 1st one! Don’t let insecurity due to bad experiences hold you back. Good luck!

what were on in previous job?

I wouldn't assume more senior means more stressful at all.

Depends on the job and your strengths. But I would choose more senior unless strong reason not to.

Good luck @Hellllppppmmeeee

£50k job, employee benefits in a job are a massive factor for me and you’ve said they’re good

also as it’s more senior you may be ready to move to a £60k job quicker than if you took the lower one

3 office days is a bit more than I’d want but given you’ve said commute is only £50 a month more then I’d take it

I don’t like office days but when I go on I’m actually always glad I did

Easy life unless you think you’ll eventually be stifled by lack of challenge.

i’ll take a punt that when you’ve spoken about your dilemma to people who know you on RL, they have strongly urged you to take the less stressful role?

I could never imagine settling for the easy ride , it’s just not who I am. So it would always be the more senior position for me. I want to achieve and to progress , going backwards would feel like failure to me.

if you’re not ambitious though it probably doesn’t matter .

@Hellllppppmmeeee good luck on your new start! From everything you said, definitely sounds like the right choice.

I'd take the £50k job.
It's not all about the cash in your pay packet, it's the increased pension contribution (if it is) , the stepping stone to the next job or promotion etc.

** The request for the first week or whatever in the office isn’t unreasonable at all, it’s just that this is the first I’ve heard of it, it wasn’t mentioned at offer stage and if it was I might not have accepted
Go to post**

you were prepared to turn down a job because for the first week you would have to be in full time?

From all the info you've added since my last post I feel even more certain the £50k job is the right one for you. They have faith in their staff. There's a trusting culture. You can flex your hours to fit you. It's a more senior role, with more opportunities. Seems like a no-brainer to me - congrats!

depends where I was in my career/ambition

I am 50 and starting to step back so would make a different decision to 10 years ago say.

phew, i am glad you have come to that decision - I'm late to this.

You're absolutely right to take this job, you KNOW you can do it, and you'd have started off in the lesser paid job already thinking you'd failed yourself. You need to start afresh, with a bit of a challenge and somewhere you can grow with.

30 mins commute is a good arrangement and especially if they are flexible. you know if you get the call of doom from the childcare setting, you can be there quickly and continue to WFH as an emergency should it be required, the lesser paid job - may be 1 day in the office, but you know that sod's law dictates that the call of doom about your dc being ill ad needing to be picked up will be on that office day.

Your H needs to manage HIS side of the childcare arrangement and a promotion for you must NOT demand the price of your career, especially as you have been through the mill of late. You need to build yourself back up and if he wants a promotion, HE needs to look at how he can cover his job without destroying yours.

You can do this, and you can manage the onboarding, just communicate with them, and DH and you will get there.

Good luck! Excited for you

I don’t know if I would have turned it down? Maybe, probably not, I’d have just planned it out