I’m literally begging you - help

[Hellllppppmmeeee]

wise Mnetters I’m literally begging you to help me decide my life.

would you take a job that paid 50k decent benefits but in the office 3 days a week. More senior position

or

one that paid 45k one day in the office, more jnr position, so a bit of a career back step.

after tax there is £150 a month in it (not factoring commuting costs)

I’ve had a bad experience with work lately and honestly I’m frozen decision wise

No the opposite mostly been a 50/50 split on what they’d do

How do you generally handle stressful situations and difficult decisions Op?

Talking it through normally

I have to say…. that doesn’t come across on this thread ( exact expression you use to describe yourself is “panic stricken”)

I’d take the more senior role. Going backwards seems counter productive.

Have a direct conversation with your husband..

We are in this together.. I am no less deserving of recognition and reward than you are. We had these children together, we should share the responsibility. Your earning potential as a man outstrips mine but I am not prepared to accept a further barrier to my career because you are fast tracking your career at my expense. We need to find a way to make both of our careers successful.

I'd take the lower paid one as I love wfh. It's been life changing for me and I'm not interested in climbing the ladder or managing people. I like a quieter life and career isn't a huge priority for me

Bonus wasn’t defined

pension was 12%

culture was negative 100,000

Yes and talking it through helps.

now in work it’s different than here, after being broken by my old job.

Having done 80 mins each way I'd say absolutely not and take the £50k with less commute daily. Plus you'll be more challenged in that role rather than feeling bored or underutilized.

Id always go for the career progression role as id want to progress even higher in the future

Given your age, the more senior one is likely to look better on a cv and for career development. Have you asked with both roles what the progression options are? Do you prefer work from home or being in the office?

These are all things that will help you decide but I would personally consider which has the better long term prospects in terms of career development.

I think you already decided, but wanted to add my support for those saying go for the higher paying job.
The money difference (after tax, extra childcare/ commute costs, difference in pension contribution etc ) is not substantial. You should work towards achieving your potential, go for the better field, better job profile and higher seniority, especially since most other stuff is fairly unknown (work culture, management style etc). Shorter commute with the more senior job is a bonus!

I’ll be honest, maybe this is bad, but I don’t have a dream career wise, something I’m good at, pays well, nice people, opportunities, treated well, and I can turn my hand to anything and I’ll do anything.

they both say there’s lot of potential to progress. I like getting a lie in, but also I’ve become quite sedentary since wfh which hasn’t been great for the size of my arse

Right now your priority might not be career because you have young children, but when you are further down the line you may appreciate pushing your career more.

Hopefully you split all childcare with your partner and its not all on you, but if it is mostly on you, maybe take the one that is easier for working around the children. But this sounds like the option far too many women take, at detriment of their own careers so their husbands can keep progressing.

I’d want a 2 days in the office for £47.5k option.

Higher pay, much closer, more potential to develop in future! No brainer. You can do this!! Good luck ⭐️

Personally, for the sake of 5k a year I would take the job with less stress and work from home.

But that sums me up.

How can anybody make any objective comment without knowing you, your industry and the two prospective employers?

This was exactly what I was going to say! It is a no brainer. Good luck and do share what happens.

For me - it had me with the commute times alone! I have done a long commute and it is never worth it.

Go for the more senior role, it sounds as if you feel you are more than capable, and they seem like they are prepared to be flexible, so what have you got to lose by trying it out?
Once you have settled in and proved yourself, they might be open to greater flexibility further down the line. Plus I may be wrong but I get the impression that your husband wants you to take the lower paid one for his own reasons, (e.g. so you would more often be at home to do pick ups maybe?) rather than because it is the better option for you and your career.
So I say believe in yourself and take the more senior role. And try and put things in perspective - remember that either job will surely be better than the job from hell you left behind. And if it doesn't work out, you know you got 2 job offers very quickly this time around so you can do that again. You obviously have an impressive CV and interview well. Well done and congrats on your new job!

Based on the fact they you're feeling burnt out, I would take the junior position! Time and peace are priceless!

Not worth it. Time is money and the extra commute for 100 a month would not be worth it to me.

When you factor in commuting, lunches, coffees etc for office days I'd take the lower paid option unless you're actively trying to progress your career

I would take more senior role.commuting 3 x a week for 30 minutes each way is better than 90 minutes each way on one day, Also it's not good long turn to take a backwards step,