I’m literally begging you - help

[Hellllppppmmeeee]

wise Mnetters I’m literally begging you to help me decide my life.

would you take a job that paid 50k decent benefits but in the office 3 days a week. More senior position

or

one that paid 45k one day in the office, more jnr position, so a bit of a career back step.

after tax there is £150 a month in it (not factoring commuting costs)

I’ve had a bad experience with work lately and honestly I’m frozen decision wise

He does but now he’s saying to go for the lower paid less stress but then I think he’s gone for a promotion that’s meant working away, the more snr role closes the gap for that is he being selfish? Or practical?

I would try to avoid doing a more junior job in order to take on more childcare.

OP it sounds like you're not actually unable to decide between these, you are scared of any new job and the uncertainty (understandably after the last experience you had). You've already verbally accepted the more senior job so push on that hard - get a written contract in your hand asap. Ignore the other job for now and just get the contract and then a chat with the hiring manager about starting arrangements. The more you prevaricate the longer the uncertainty will last. Get it nailed down and I'm sure you'll feel a lot better.
And, if they do put a new piece of information on the table that makes it untenable then you have the other job as backup (at least for another day or so).

The old job want an answer this afternoon

This is really astute thank you!

Higher paid- more commuting costs, more business clothes, buying lunches etc.

Lower job less money spent on all of the above. But increased heating etc at home.

But I'm not sure I'd want a 90 min each way commute.

I’d bring my own lunch, if that changes anything haha lol.

im just so stressed now. Dh flip flopping isn’t great

Lower paid job calls you and retracts the offer. Are you happy?

Id go with the £45k a year for more wfh

Take the higher paid job. You're only considering the lower paid one because your confidence has had a knock.
You might have to pay more for childcare and a cleaner, but the better job will come with better contacts and opportunities for the future.

Its much better IMO to be more senior, if it gives you more agency over your day to day work.

Also, pension payments are a percentage of salary so more going into your pension.

How much annual leave, sick leave etc? I'd negotiate hard on AL and salary.

You could also negotiate on days in the office, but if they agree two rather than three, make sure it goes on the contract.

More senior without a shadow of a doubt. Particularly if you want to be treated with more dignify. And it will give you more flexibility in the long run.

From your responses it seems like you are slightly more in favour of the 50k job. No one can guarantee what will a new job turn out like, but it seems the role is at your level of seniority, and 2 office days with a short commute sound like a perfect work/life balance.
the first few weeks in the office are only temporary.
Congrats on the offers!

Is career progression possible with the wfh slightly more junior role? If yes, I’d take the junior one with, on balance after commute costs, the same take home pay.

You could also go back to the snr role offer and say that you’ve been offered a more jnr role at, effectively, the same money after commute costs so feel their offer is perhaps on the low side? If that doesn’t appeal it might indicate that you don’t really want that job.

Higher!

I held back on a higher paid role to accommodate my (now) ex. Bad decision. Got over it eventually.

Higher makes it easier to go back to lower if it doesn't work. So if you can't decide right now, higher.

Nothing in this thread has suggested you want to WFH for your own mood / job satisfaction/ progress.

Thank you lovelies, I feel you have all be such good friends. Thank you for your advice l’ll take the higher paid job

Well done, OP and good luck!

I'd take the more senior role. When you take a step back going forward is much harder.

What was it like when you visited each office?

I work full time from home and the idea of wasting 90 minutes per day 3 days per week is abhorrent to me so I'd take the lower paid less office job!

If you’re already stressed from a senior role and took a pay cut, then going into another potential stressful senior role for only 5 k more and 8 extra days a month isn’t going to help and definitely isn’t worth it. Having two extra days at home per week with two kids is going to be a lifesaver, and if you’ve already been offered and done a senior role, then you’ll be absolutely fine moving in 1-2 years if you realise you want to take on more responsibility.

I am paid ~20 k more than you and was initially expected to do two-three days a week and I’ll be honest, for someone who doesn’t really like office working - the weeks I have to do the extra day are tough. I also spend so much more money than I do on days at home.

I would 100% take a 5k pay cut and only do one day in the office.

Surely going for the £50k one will help with progression - whereas if you take a step back, you’ll not be able to apply as easily for future jobs in the higher band.

This is great advice. I see your dh didn’t have any qualms about taking a higher paid job. Time for him to be a bit flexible for you.

That's the distance to the lower paid job though! Higher is 30 minutes, which I find quite nice as a commute - a bit of exercise and chance to clear my head.

Yes 90 mins is the lower paid job, once a week. Higher is about 30/45 mins in heavy traffic but I just spoke to the hiring manager and he said can be flexible to avoid rush hr which is great for me. I’m not someone who’d take the piss with that either so it’s nice that they’ve got faith In their staff from day dot

do you know anyone who works or has worked in either place to ask for their thoughts?

and i’d be negotiating hard on the pay