I’m literally begging you - help

[Hellllppppmmeeee]

wise Mnetters I’m literally begging you to help me decide my life.

would you take a job that paid 50k decent benefits but in the office 3 days a week. More senior position

or

one that paid 45k one day in the office, more jnr position, so a bit of a career back step.

after tax there is £150 a month in it (not factoring commuting costs)

I’ve had a bad experience with work lately and honestly I’m frozen decision wise

We have a chat on the way back from school, she might talk a little bit when she’s drawing, if I have a call, I’ll explain she needs to be quiet or I’ll go to another room and dh will be with her. She’s a little Angel

do you plan to have a second?

child or job?

child i already do. (They are in nursery fee paying for 7:30-5:30)

job?not if I can help it

will be very different post school environment when both at school

when is deadline for decision?

When they are both at school they will both have wrap around care, atm with full time private nursery fees, but at school it will be cheaper.

Oh and tomorrow is D day

I would definitely take the one mostly WFH but it is a very personal decision. I am not that career driven and value work life balance more

😬

I personally would go for the lower position with more WFH as your kids are still very young and I imagine that would give you more flexibility if one of them is ill? Not suggesting you try and work AND watch an ill child, but would be able to do some of it in the evening, if necessary, once they are in bed, or DP will be home?

Also, given you are so panic-stricken about what to do, given what happened at your last place, you might benefit, for a while, of having less pressure in your working day?

But only you can ultimately decide what feels right for you?

Dh wfh 80% of the time so he’ll be there those times

so… what’s your decision?

Have you talked to you husband yet?

'Also, given you are so panic-stricken about what to do, given what happened at your last place, you might benefit, for a while, of having less pressure in your working day?'

The way I read it, the higher paying job has a defined role and is renumerated accordingly. The lower paying job actually sounds more stressful to me as the commute could become very waring even if infrequent and you never know if you'll be called in to the office more often than anticipated, plus, they've already indicated that they want to take advantage of the OP's experience and seniority, possibly by increasing the responsibilities by stealth, but not paying accordingly? Lots to take in, so I may have misread, but that's what I thought?

Also, given you are so panic-stricken about what to do, given what happened at your last place, you might benefit, for a while, of having less pressure in your working day?

this

Literally begging, eh? Not figuratively begging. Thanks for clearing up that potential source of confusion.

Have you decided yet OP?
I would go for 50k job- you still want progression , it's only 30 mins from home, DH WFH so hopefully he can do pick ups on days you are in office or step up when DC is ill.

Personally, I'd go for the more senior role as £150 more each month and more senior position. I don't think taking a backwards step is a great idea. I think it's better to be in the office for 3 days per week because you actually get to mix with people. I also feel whatever you decide, at odd times you may well think you should have taken the other job - that's Sods Law! It's something you will need to deal with though.

I think it depends where you are. If you’re looking at career progression - take the higher paid job as may have more responsibility. If you have a lot going on and don’t want a role that is (perhaps) more demanding or the flexibility would be a real benefit - go for the lesser salary with more wfh.
Id be tempted by the role with more wfh because of the flexibility.

I'd take the 45k, one day a week. As I've got older I've realised that money does not outweigh happiness. Yes, it helps, but at that amount of difference before commuting costs, I would value my peace of mind more. But I understand that might just be me.

Pros and cons list needed. If you have kids, think high income child benefit tax as be on 50k. So if you currently receive that you will lose it. Then commuting costs are extra fuel, extra time and extra wear on the car. With more senior position comes extra work load and more hours. How good are the extra benefits and does it outway the loses?

How is it taking the piss if I am not doing the school run and I am in my home office doing my job? Just because the kids are in the house? My performance always comes as commendable in every review, so clearly I am doing my job to a better than average standard. I hope I never get a boss like you 🤣

I’d take the lower pay one day a week in the office. Hopefully you’ll end up spending less money on lunches and commute ohh and the pressure of office drinks on a Friday

Shortest commute, you never know about strikes, delays, weather. Commuting can add stress and 3 hours is a lot, makes an 8hour day into 11

Not something to base your whole decision on but I know your child benefit does start to reduce once your earn £50000 plus so what you gain you could lose.
I am terrible at making decisions so I can imagine how hard this is for you OP esp with your previous employer. Do you have a gut feeling? Forgetting the commute/working from home/childcare which role would you prefer ? Once you have thought of it this way then ask yourself can you make it work.

Only you can really decide, but if go for the more senior position that gives you better experience, and it’s closer to home too. But I like being in the office half the time too!

Would the £45k job be less stressful and therefore give you a better home life. I always find it helps to write down a list of pros and cons, but you have to be honest. Or toss a coin, best of 3. Good luck whatever you decide