I’m literally begging you - help

[Hellllppppmmeeee]

wise Mnetters I’m literally begging you to help me decide my life.

would you take a job that paid 50k decent benefits but in the office 3 days a week. More senior position

or

one that paid 45k one day in the office, more jnr position, so a bit of a career back step.

after tax there is £150 a month in it (not factoring commuting costs)

I’ve had a bad experience with work lately and honestly I’m frozen decision wise

For fuck sake I thought you'd been taken hostage with that title

Yes it’s somewhat dramatic

I can’t tell you what’s best for you, but if I were in your position I would take the role with 3 days in office that had a much shorter commuting time vs the role with 1 day in office and 90 min commute.

why? Several reasons:

1. When you add up the commuting time it’s the same (3 times 30 mins is the same as 1 time 90 mins)
2. Many companies are continuously evolving their position on working from home. It seems most are progressively requiring workers to come in more frequently. That would be a real drag for you in a role where the office is so far
3. with an office 90 mins away, you’ll find it really annoying to go to work, having to wake up stupidly early and travel tons every tome. With a short commute, you may enjoy it and find it’s a good change of air to get out of the house and see some people.
4. there are always events that come up at work and you’ll really resent having to go in the odd extra day if your commute is 90 mins. It will also make it harder to socialise with colleagues after work if you are so inclined.
5. you speak about the opportunity to evolve in the job but typically it does help to build a network at work if your ambition is to grow more senior

3 days in office job.

Taken hostage by indecision and panic perhaps?

PLEASE OP take the more senior, better paid role. It’s a great opportunity, and even if it’s shit you’ll be in a better place for the next job. Agree with others that the shorter commute also helps massively, even if it’s more often. Most places will expect you in FT for the first week or so - it will also help you make better connections and settle in faster. If you’re worried about whether you can do the job, that’s a good thing - you’ll be stretched and develop and I promise that’s a great feeling. I’ve been in an ‘easy’ role where I was unchallenged and underworked. I left very quickly as it made me feel crap. Good luck 🍀

As you have young children, I most definitely would take the 45K.

Why? In what way does young kids mean take a lower wage? What is your rationale? She has a partner, should he take a lower wage too?

What's your career aspiration @Hellllppppmmeeee? Do you want to progress your career? If so, which has the best career progression opportunities?

If you're position is irrelevant, take the £45k job.

I don't think money is the only reason to take the £50k, you'll waste more time commuting and you may need to work more unpaid overtime.

Ultimately, where you are in your career is the real thing you're deciding.

Good luck.

This 😂

I would just say whichever position you take don’t accept the initial pay offer. There’s always another 10-20% in the pot I’ve found in the private sector anyway. If you don’t ask you don’t get.

The lower wage is 5K difference! Maybe less stressful! You would be close at hand to care for sick children should they need to be off school. That is my rationale.

However, I see that husband wfh, so therefore able to support and help if needed.

Well your husband has obviously been building his career while you took all the family leave to facilitate that for him . So it’s time now for him to step up and support you for a change.

Deeds not words.

Not had time to read all the replies @Hellllppppmmeeee , but can you negotiate TWO days and the more senior position?

So she has to take a lower wage in case the kids get sick? She has a partner should he drop his wages in case kids get sick. Women don’t constantly need to be passively stepping back and taking less demanding roles just because they are parents. If your rationale is less wage = more flexibility then that need to be applied to both of them .
The lower paid job is 3h away, 90 min return trip
The higher paid is 30min
If her kids are unwell they both need to step up

I think it somewhat depends on if you are planning to progress your career or if you are happy to coast along? If you want progression now and in the future then the senior role is better for your professional prospects, but if you want a secure role that you are confident in doing and can plod along in until you retire then the other one might be better?
I’m in my 40s and climbed the career ladder fast and hard in my 20s/30s but now I’m happy to plod unless something amazing comes along!

Sorry I missed some of your previous replies that I’ve just seen saying you want progression! In this case I’d say go for the senior role

I would focus on which team you got the best feel for. Having had a job I loved for years then moved into a toxic environment, I’ve realised that matters far more than the money.

With this much indecisiveness, take the job with least managerial responsibility.

Neither have line manager responsibility

Depends on the age. For example mine are at the end of primary, they come back from school get themselves a snack, and entertain themselves int heir room for about an hour until I finish work. Obviously this does not apply if she has a toddler! Are you by any chance a micro managing boss that is hyper aware of employees taking the piss when working from home? 🤣

Well I don't have to ask to see you're a piss-taking employee. You might think this is okay but it's not. In my personal professional situation, it's actually my boss that takes the piss with WFH, and the rest of team are sick of it. No you're not 'more productive'

And to answer your question, yes your DH is being selfish by making his career more important than yours.
You do not have to have a “career dream” and the expectation that you should is BS. I had 2 young kids at your age, no real career plan, but I took every opportunity to move ahead. I now outearn my DH in a very senior role, which I’d never have predicted 10-15 years ago.

Mine is in reception and she sits very calmly and reads at her desk (in our office, does her homework, colouring, or plays in her room (right new to our office) or watches a bit of tv for the last hour of the day, we’ll last 30/45 mins as on those days dh will finish at 4:15/4:30

after a day at school - she’s not full of telling you all a out the day?